Top ten things non-sports fans need to know about Peyton Manning

Categories: News, Sports

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Editor's note: With Peyton Manning's regular-season debut for the Broncos set for Sunday, we offer this (hilarious) (and helpful!) Peyton primer by Melanie Asmar that first appeared last March.

Hello, Denver sports noobs. Perhaps you've heard of a new man-about-town named Peyton Manning. No, no -- he's not the guy who won Project Runway All Stars. He's a football player. A quarterback. In other words, Peyton Manning is the new Tim Tebow. Except less overtly Christian and better at doing the football.

Still confused? Fear not. Behold our Top Ten Things Non-Sports Fans Should Know about Peyton Manning.

10. Peyton Manning is the Denver Broncos' new, awesome quarterback.

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An incredible simulation.
Peyton Manning recently decided to come play football in Denver. If you think that's not a big deal, you are wrong. Why? Because Peyton Manning is really good at football.

Of all the players in all the land, he has won the NFL (that's National Football League, not National Forensic League, nerds) Most Valuable Player award four times, the most of anybody ever. Sports Illustrated also named him NFL Player of the Decade for the 2000s. Something about passing yards and "immense presence." Are we losing you with all of this sports-talk? All you need to know is that he's way better than Sports Illustrated's College Player of the Decade Tim Tebow, who used to be the quarterback for the Denver Broncos but has been traded to New York. That's good for footballing but bad for single ladies.

9. Kids love Peyton Manning.

In 2009, Peyton Manning won the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award for Best Male Athlete, elevating him to the same exalted status as SpongeBob SquarePants, the Jonas Brothers and High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

Continue for more of the ten things non-sports fans should know about Peyton Manning.

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Would you like to make a wager ?


Good luck with the lesser of the Manning boys.

Remember, Tebow beat the Steelers last year, Manning tends to lose to them.


Thanks Melanie for a good attempt at a sports article .

Please , NEVER AGAIN , refer to Mr. Manning as the

'New Tebow' .

Teblow has BARELY earned the right to wash Peyton's jock-strap !

Female sports writers ........?


 @woefatcat < ---- is a woman . Explains her complete lack of knowledge concerning the NFL .....

Sorry Mam ............

michael.roberts moderator editortopcommenter

 @woefatcat The lesser of the Manning boys still ain't bad. Thanks for the post, Woefatcat.


 @michael.roberts  @woefatcat 

Now , what do you two have to say for yourselves ?

Dallas put the Giants in their place in , NY !

Denver beat the NFL's # 1 rated defense by two touchdowns !

Peyton's QB rating for the game - 129.6

Eli - 94.9 rating is good . Just not good enough ....

I will boldly predict a championship while Peyton dons

the 'Orange & Blue' !!!


 @michael.roberts No, and I do think that Manning is the smartest QB that ever played in the recent past but Eli seems to have gotten all of the Manning luck. I would take Archie over his boys. Look at the Saints teams he was leading back in the day.


 @michael.roberts  @woefatcat 

One point you both so easily overlook is the difference between the two organizations . If Manning had played his entire career in Denver ,

he would most certainly be in possession of more than one championship

ring . I'm NOT a big Shanahan fan , but if while he was here & he had acquired Manning as a rookie , he'd still be the head coach of the Broncos, surpassing Noll , and Walsh , in Super Bowl victories !


 @woefatcat Shanahan knows how to build around a HOF QB . Manning would have taken up right where Elway left off ....


 @Juan_Leg About Shanahan, that is. He is definitely NOT a walsh or Noll. For all of the games won and over .500 seasons it boils down to Championships, that is what people remember

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