Ask a Stoner: William Breathes answers your questions about Amendment 64 and more

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Since the passage of Amendment 64, which legalizes adult possession of an ounce or less of marijuana, have you been getting questions about how it will work? So have we. To help clear the foggy air, we've asked medical marijuana dispensary critic William Breathes to follow in the footsteps of the OC Weekly's Gustavo Arellano, author of the syndicated column "Ask a Mexican!" and respond to anything readers might want to Ask a Stoner.

Dear Stoner: Why is this column running instead of your usual Thursday 4:20 p.m. medical marijuana dispensary reviews? -- Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed: Did you know that not only can it take up to 35 days for your medical marijuana card renewal to appear, but it can also take that long for a denial letter? I did, but that didn't make it any easier to find out my application had been returned to me due to a bit of, let's say, confusion over some of my paperwork.

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Everything turned out to be fine, but I learned something else new about the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment's medical marijuana registry: If you have to resubmit even the smallest part of your application, the CDPHE puts you at the very end of the line of applicants -- which means another 35-45 days in line for processing and approval, plus up to two weeks for printing and mailing. That's a grand total of about seventy to ninety days.

My point? As prepared as I could be for a delay in getting my renewed medical marijuana card, I've run out of reviews. And since I can't visit any shops with my paperwork, it might be a few weeks until the reviews return.

Thankfully, I'm fine on medical cannabis. But delays like this are bullshit for patients dependent on MMJ dispensaries for their meds. Being put to the back of the line sucks and should probably be fixed, even though I understand the logic. What makes absolutely no sense is why new patients are allowed to shop at dispensaries with just their paperwork while existing patients have to wait until their cards are approved. It was a dumb "clarification" a few years back by the CDPHE that made absolutely no sense at the time and still doesn't.

Dear Stoner: I'm not a medical patient. Can I buy marijuana in Colorado right now? -- Waiting to Inhale

Dear Waiting: Sure, you can buy it: Find a college kid, neighbor or just about anyone in Civic Center Park. Only thing is, it's not legal for them to sell pot to you -- nor will it be under Amendment 64. (Cue the Grateful Dead record scratching to a halt.)

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Civic Center Park.
To quote Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction: "See, it's legal, but it ain't 100 percent legal." Only licensed marijuana shops will be allowed to sell recreational pot in Colorado, and they won't be opening until January 2014 -- at the very earliest.

Unlike the MMJ industry that sprang up around the state before there were regulations governing dispensaries, much less licenses required, all recreational shops will have to be licensed before they can open. In order for that to happen, the Colorado Legislature will have to create the licensing framework during the upcoming 2013 session. And even if lawmakers manage to do that, there will be other hurdles -- not the least of which is the fact that marijuana use, cultivation, sales and distribution are all still illegal under federal law.

Until all of this is sorted out, no matter how much you beg, the medical marijuana dispensary around the corner won't be selling to you unless you've got a valid medical marijuana card. But no doubt it would love your business if/when it makes the switch to a recreational pot shop in 2014.

Continue for more Ask a Stoner.


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40 comments
CoreyDonahue
CoreyDonahue

Will, why did you constantaly call it the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act, when the state and proponents both said, ¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization.?  Or WHERE IS THE SIX MIN CONVERSATION BETWEEN NIXONLOOPER AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT REGARDING THE PASSAGE OF A64.  or WHY IS WESTWORD A TABLOID RAG AND NOT A HOME OF ACTUAL JOURNILISM?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

If a stoner smoked an eighth and a half in a day and a half ... how long would it take for a midget with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a bale of Mexican schwag ?  

Deborah Watts
Deborah Watts

WAKE up idiot! ARIZONA VOTED 4 MARIJUANA numerous times. THE VOTE WAS IGNORED BY THE CONTINUED CORRUPT GOVERNMENT! THAT IS AND HAS MADE LEGAL CITIZENS..SECOND CLASS CITIZENS TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

Another clarification.

"But even in the smoking section of your favorite bar patio or major-league baseball stadium, you won't be able to legally light a joint -- not that the law seems to stop anyone these days."

I'm thinking a bathroom stall is "private." I could be wrong about that, as smoke wafting out might make it not.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

One clarification about the availability of pot over the next year. A friend or family member, etc., can give you pot legally once the amendment is signed into law, but they cannot sell it.

I'm sure a lot of people will figure out how to work that. Making good friends means you can get something decent from someone you can trust, provided you can find someone. One of the first things that came to mind when it passed was that I no longer have to hoard my overage, as a patient who provides for himself (and simultaneously, pot lawyers are telling me that now, I legally can, as there were limits before A64.)

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

Bummer, William! I'm glad your paperwork got cleared up. I consider to be happy with the "affirmative defense" track I chose to follow. I think I've got enough butter to last me about a year if I have to re-start my grow from scratch or something.

Rob Payne
Rob Payne

Ignorant fools = Spent too much time replying to this = Prohibitionists

Karlos Dainger
Karlos Dainger

if u need a second pot critic,feel free to contact me.;)

Jack Thursby
Jack Thursby

I feel the same way about the Denver Post.

Skid Jarrett Gilmore
Skid Jarrett Gilmore

Works better for lining your bird cage, Deborah. Sucks for kitty litter.

Monkey
Monkey

I like it!! But your secret lawyers comparison to slavery is a bit absurd. Anyone can start a club with members that think slavery is ok, they can even treat their members or employees like slaves, but we call them indentured servants now, because they have to willingly agree to the terms. Slavery was abolished, and so has using marijuana in private here in Colorado. Private business owners can allow people to use, grow and transfer marijuana because it's "not unlawful", just like they can allow people to wear concealed handguns without a permit inside their business. To be safe, keep the door locked and have members use a code to get in. Make sure they're members after inside and no one will be able to claim your establishment is public. In my opinion, restaurants should be able to allow the use. cultivation and transfer of weed just like they allow alcohol use, but I'm not holding my breath for that one.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Since A64 arbitrarily excludes EVERYONE under 21 yrs old from any protections under its provisions, how many marijuana arrests for stoners under 21 will be prevented?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Since A64 does not remove or mitigate a single Felony marijuana crime, how many felony marijuana arrests and prosecution will A64 prevent?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

How many Stupid Stoners does it take to fuck up a Constitutional Amendment?

tutonehcc
tutonehcc topcommenter

More Stoner news Breathes, screw the medical marijuana dispensary reviews, that shit is so old news.  Week after week of how bad the dispensary weed is has gotten borring.  The new 'Ask A Stoner' should appeal to the masses because everyone wants to come to Colorado and be a stoner and no one wants to deal with applications to the state for medical garbage like you are right now.  Welcome Stoners!  Super Stoked!

I think there will be smoking lounges and hash bars, it's only an inevitable course of how things will play out in the near future.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization."

¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization."

¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization."

Only a lying cocksucker would refer to the festering turd that is A64 as"legalization" or as "regulate marijuana like alcohol".

Monkey
Monkey

@Cognitive_Dissident A bathroom stall in a public place is a public bathroom, if it were private, you would not be able to use it but others would. That's why anyone can establish a private club to allow the use, cultivation and transfer of marijuana, because the general public is not allowed. Buying tickets for a game and smoking in the bathroom is not the same as going to a members only club and watching the game while smoking in front of the TV or in the bathroom. In your scenario, any thing contained within partial walls would be considered private, and that's just not true. I do like the creative thinking though, maybe it will catch on, and we can set up a tent at the reservoir as a private smoking lounge. 

tutonehcc
tutonehcc topcommenter

@Cognitive_Dissident don't worry Cognitive, everything will be fine, all the kids will get high, no one's going to get arrested, it's all good yo!

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Monkey "To be safe, keep the door locked and have members use a code to get in. Make sure they're members after inside and no one will be able to claim your establishment is public"

False.

If you're going to all that trouble, why not just run a whorehouse or gambling room? ... they'd make way more $$$ than a bunch a Wayne's Wold stoners sitting around on a ratty-ass couch getting baked.

Liquor Up Front -- Poker in the Rear!

tutonehcc
tutonehcc topcommenter

@DonkeyHotay Nothing's gonna happen bro, it's all good, pass the Gold Fish and take a toke Hotay, join the party!

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@tutonehcc "screw the medical marijuana dispensary reviews, that shit is so old news. Week after week of how bad the dispensary weed is has gotten borring.[sic]"

True that.

Might as well review Fast Food Burger franchises ...

carlosperez505
carlosperez505

@DonkeyHotay @Deborah Watts Don't worry they will have minority programs to help all the white people in America in the future.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

@Monkey For those not inclined to follow the link, here's a direct quote from the article: 

"The court determined that since Hill decided to share the public restroom with a female companion he forfeited his privacy rights."

and later:

"Now don't get all nervous, the court did acknowledge that under normal circumstances law abiding citizens can trust that they enjoy a right to privacy in public restrooms."

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

@Monkey With regard to the above, just make sure you don't invite a second person into the stall, or the court has found that you have given up the expectation of privacy -- a demonstration of exactly what I posted above.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

@Monkey You couldn't be more wrong about the bathroom. If you checked, you'd find out that users of bathroom stalls have been found to have an "expectation of privacy" in legal matters.

As for the private club, it's a different issue. Excluding the public has been demonstrated to retain privacy.

Nevertheless, the government shrinks your privacy perpetually, so things can change. Soon, you will have no privacy at all.

@Monkey

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

@tutonehcc This is a good time to point out that nothing here should be construed as legal advice. No one here is an attorney unless they say so, and no one is giving professional legal advice, unless they say so.

This is particularly true of tutonehcc.

Monkey
Monkey

@DonkeyHotay  I would if an amendment said prostitution and gambling is "not unlawful" in private.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Monkey "You can eat it or vape it anywhere in public, no one will even notice."

Channeling Tommy Tutone?

Monkey
Monkey

@Cognitive_Dissident Relax.... Suck some vapor or eat a muffin in any bathroom you want, I don't care. You can eat it or vape it anywhere in public, no one will even notice.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

@Monkey

  1. Show me where I indicated that the "place" was protected, rather than the person. People are said to have an expectation of privacy.
  2. See where I indicated that smoke wafting out might affect your privacy.
  3. I guess you didn't follow the link. The article was very clear that you do enjoy privacy in a "public bathroom" stall.
  4. Also see where I said I expect this privacy to go away, in time.
  5. Finally, I don't smoke, anything.

Monkey
Monkey

@Cognitive_Dissident The Fourth Amendment protects people, not places. For example, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy in conversations or other sounds inside your own home that a person outside could hear, or odors that a passerby could smell. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your office, so long as it’s not open to the public, but if there is a part of your office where the public is allowed, like a reception area or bathroom, those areas are not private and need no warrant to enter. It's creative but wont hold up in court, you must prove the expectation of privacy is one that society as a whole would think is legitimate, and I don't think society would agree with you. You got that tent set up yet, I'll take a toke.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Monkey @DonkeyHotay 

Private Gambling between individuals who are social associates is not illegal in Colorado.

Give away the sex for free ... as a prize ... and you can live the dream.

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