Ask a Stoner: William Breathes answers your questions about Amendment 64 and more


Dear Stoner: Does the new law mean I can just smoke it wherever and whenever I want? If so, the Rockpile just got a whole lot better. -- Hit a Homer

DINGER BONG.jpg
Dinger and his binger.
Dear Hit: I'm not going to stop you. But the police might, and that's a bummer. Public use and consumption is still illegal under Amendment 64. You'll be able to light up at your house, your friend's house, or any other establishment being used for a private function. But even in the smoking section of your favorite bar patio or major-league baseball stadium, you won't be able to legally light a joint -- not that the law seems to stop anyone these days.

Also, all you stoney skiers and boarders should keep in mind that while puffing on the lifts might be a Colorado tradition, most of the time you're on leased federal land -- and no matter what Colorado lawmakers decide, the feds still consider pot illegal. It's your call if you want to indulge in civil disobedience, but if you do, be sure to sure to share with your chair-mates.

Dear Stoner: If Colorado is like Amsterdam now, can I start a pot coffee shop or bar with a private lounge and let people smoke marijuana inside? -- Diesel Espresso

Dear Diesel: Sorry, but Colorado isn't like Amsterdam. For one, we don't have anywhere near the same number of dour German tourists looking to unwind with hookers and mid-grade marijuana.

And second: No, there won't be any hash bars. At least, not legally.

amsterdam coffee shop.jpeg
Hash lounge in Amsterdam.
We pitched the question to an attorney familiar with licensing regulations in Denver and state law, and his response was rather telling in regard to how likely such ventures would be to pass. After about a minute of laughing into the other end of the phone, he said the answer would be "No. No, no, no, no. Absolutely fucking not. No."

As he points out, any privately owned business open to the general public (even limited private-membership places like country clubs) are considered public entities when it comes to regulation. And according to Amendment 64, public consumption is illegal. That means both smoking outdoors, as well as smoking in public places (or both, like Red Rocks). As our attorney points out: "You can't just open up a private club and decide that indentured slavery is okay."

He also pointed out that the attorneys who have been saying that smoke lounges will be possible are the same ones who advise their dispensary clients to ignore cease-and-desist letters from the U.S. Attorney's Office. Take that as you will. All of this could change down the line if attitudes shift about public consumption and the legislature (or the people) decide to do something about it.

In the meantime, Colorado smokers will continue to light up stealth one-hits on the patios of coffee shops and bars across the state.

Dear Stoner: What is the beer equivalent of one ounce? A case? Two cases? Four cases? With one toke of pot, what do you think? -- Bud the Beginner

Dear Bud: Only one toke of pot? At least hit the herb three or four times if you're going to do it at all. No, I get what you're asking here, and really, there's not much of a comparison. But for the sake of trying (and without getting into esoteric stuff about the different experiences of marijuana and alcohol), here we go:

An ounce is roughly 28 grams of herb. You can roll upwards of sixty joints out of that if you're keeping it to a half-gram in each joint (you could also be packing that amount into a pipe or a vaporizer, for that matter). It's not a lot, but enough for an average person to get a buzz for an hour or two. People who like smoking a lot of cannabis go through anywhere from a couple grams a day on up.

Now, take your average American beer -- like, say, Coors original or Railyard Ale by Wynkoop Brewing (you know, the one our Guv used to own). Those are around 5 percent alcohol by volume, and most people wouldn't admit to feeling much of a buzz. But two or three in a row, and you're ready for a Broncos game.

Here's the big difference, though: If you were to go on to smoke all sixty of those joints, you'd either be asleep, really hungry, watching a movie, or a combination of all three (see any night at the Oriental Theater's Mile High Movies to see what I mean). At worst, your throat is going to hurt and you'll understand why getting a vaporizer is an investment worth making.

beer can pipe.jpg
Drink sixty beers and you're either a Kappa Sigma senior at CU Boulder and about to make some poor choices with that freshman from your English class, or (more likely) puking up the majority of those beers into a toilet and possibly going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning [cue comments from morons bragging about how "sixty beers is nothing, you lightweight stoner pansy"].

I know what you're saying now: "That makes perfect sense, Breathes. What doesn't make sense is why the Amendment would limit you to one ounce, and yet I can go out and buy all the booze I want." Yeah, the authors of the amendment chose to write their bill that way based on polling -- clearly not on common sense. But it's what we've got for now, so make that ounce count. Or just have a friend bring over some of his stash if you're really getting down for a night.

Have more questions about Amendment 64 -- or just wonder why marijuana and classic rock go so well together? Shoot an e-mail to Ask a Stoner at marijuana@westword.com

My Voice Nation Help
40 comments
CoreyDonahue
CoreyDonahue

Will, why did you constantaly call it the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act, when the state and proponents both said, ¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization.?  Or WHERE IS THE SIX MIN CONVERSATION BETWEEN NIXONLOOPER AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT REGARDING THE PASSAGE OF A64.  or WHY IS WESTWORD A TABLOID RAG AND NOT A HOME OF ACTUAL JOURNILISM?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

If a stoner smoked an eighth and a half in a day and a half ... how long would it take for a midget with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a bale of Mexican schwag ?  

Deborah Watts
Deborah Watts

WAKE up idiot! ARIZONA VOTED 4 MARIJUANA numerous times. THE VOTE WAS IGNORED BY THE CONTINUED CORRUPT GOVERNMENT! THAT IS AND HAS MADE LEGAL CITIZENS..SECOND CLASS CITIZENS TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

Another clarification.

"But even in the smoking section of your favorite bar patio or major-league baseball stadium, you won't be able to legally light a joint -- not that the law seems to stop anyone these days."

I'm thinking a bathroom stall is "private." I could be wrong about that, as smoke wafting out might make it not.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

One clarification about the availability of pot over the next year. A friend or family member, etc., can give you pot legally once the amendment is signed into law, but they cannot sell it.

I'm sure a lot of people will figure out how to work that. Making good friends means you can get something decent from someone you can trust, provided you can find someone. One of the first things that came to mind when it passed was that I no longer have to hoard my overage, as a patient who provides for himself (and simultaneously, pot lawyers are telling me that now, I legally can, as there were limits before A64.)

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

Bummer, William! I'm glad your paperwork got cleared up. I consider to be happy with the "affirmative defense" track I chose to follow. I think I've got enough butter to last me about a year if I have to re-start my grow from scratch or something.

Rob Payne
Rob Payne

Ignorant fools = Spent too much time replying to this = Prohibitionists

Karlos Dainger
Karlos Dainger

if u need a second pot critic,feel free to contact me.;)

Jack Thursby
Jack Thursby

I feel the same way about the Denver Post.

Skid Jarrett Gilmore
Skid Jarrett Gilmore

Works better for lining your bird cage, Deborah. Sucks for kitty litter.

Monkey
Monkey

I like it!! But your secret lawyers comparison to slavery is a bit absurd. Anyone can start a club with members that think slavery is ok, they can even treat their members or employees like slaves, but we call them indentured servants now, because they have to willingly agree to the terms. Slavery was abolished, and so has using marijuana in private here in Colorado. Private business owners can allow people to use, grow and transfer marijuana because it's "not unlawful", just like they can allow people to wear concealed handguns without a permit inside their business. To be safe, keep the door locked and have members use a code to get in. Make sure they're members after inside and no one will be able to claim your establishment is public. In my opinion, restaurants should be able to allow the use. cultivation and transfer of weed just like they allow alcohol use, but I'm not holding my breath for that one.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Since A64 arbitrarily excludes EVERYONE under 21 yrs old from any protections under its provisions, how many marijuana arrests for stoners under 21 will be prevented?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Since A64 does not remove or mitigate a single Felony marijuana crime, how many felony marijuana arrests and prosecution will A64 prevent?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

How many Stupid Stoners does it take to fuck up a Constitutional Amendment?

tutonehcc
tutonehcc topcommenter

More Stoner news Breathes, screw the medical marijuana dispensary reviews, that shit is so old news.  Week after week of how bad the dispensary weed is has gotten borring.  The new 'Ask A Stoner' should appeal to the masses because everyone wants to come to Colorado and be a stoner and no one wants to deal with applications to the state for medical garbage like you are right now.  Welcome Stoners!  Super Stoked!

I think there will be smoking lounges and hash bars, it's only an inevitable course of how things will play out in the near future.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization."

¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization."

¨it would be confusing and misleading to the public to compare what this is to alcohol or legalization."

Only a lying cocksucker would refer to the festering turd that is A64 as"legalization" or as "regulate marijuana like alcohol".

Monkey
Monkey

@Cognitive_Dissident A bathroom stall in a public place is a public bathroom, if it were private, you would not be able to use it but others would. That's why anyone can establish a private club to allow the use, cultivation and transfer of marijuana, because the general public is not allowed. Buying tickets for a game and smoking in the bathroom is not the same as going to a members only club and watching the game while smoking in front of the TV or in the bathroom. In your scenario, any thing contained within partial walls would be considered private, and that's just not true. I do like the creative thinking though, maybe it will catch on, and we can set up a tent at the reservoir as a private smoking lounge. 

tutonehcc
tutonehcc topcommenter

@Cognitive_Dissident don't worry Cognitive, everything will be fine, all the kids will get high, no one's going to get arrested, it's all good yo!

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Monkey "To be safe, keep the door locked and have members use a code to get in. Make sure they're members after inside and no one will be able to claim your establishment is public"

False.

If you're going to all that trouble, why not just run a whorehouse or gambling room? ... they'd make way more $$$ than a bunch a Wayne's Wold stoners sitting around on a ratty-ass couch getting baked.

Liquor Up Front -- Poker in the Rear!

tutonehcc
tutonehcc topcommenter

@DonkeyHotay Nothing's gonna happen bro, it's all good, pass the Gold Fish and take a toke Hotay, join the party!

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@tutonehcc "screw the medical marijuana dispensary reviews, that shit is so old news. Week after week of how bad the dispensary weed is has gotten borring.[sic]"

True that.

Might as well review Fast Food Burger franchises ...

carlosperez505
carlosperez505

@DonkeyHotay @Deborah Watts Don't worry they will have minority programs to help all the white people in America in the future.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

@Monkey For those not inclined to follow the link, here's a direct quote from the article: 

"The court determined that since Hill decided to share the public restroom with a female companion he forfeited his privacy rights."

and later:

"Now don't get all nervous, the court did acknowledge that under normal circumstances law abiding citizens can trust that they enjoy a right to privacy in public restrooms."

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

@Monkey With regard to the above, just make sure you don't invite a second person into the stall, or the court has found that you have given up the expectation of privacy -- a demonstration of exactly what I posted above.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

@Monkey You couldn't be more wrong about the bathroom. If you checked, you'd find out that users of bathroom stalls have been found to have an "expectation of privacy" in legal matters.

As for the private club, it's a different issue. Excluding the public has been demonstrated to retain privacy.

Nevertheless, the government shrinks your privacy perpetually, so things can change. Soon, you will have no privacy at all.

@Monkey

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

@tutonehcc This is a good time to point out that nothing here should be construed as legal advice. No one here is an attorney unless they say so, and no one is giving professional legal advice, unless they say so.

This is particularly true of tutonehcc.

Monkey
Monkey

@DonkeyHotay  I would if an amendment said prostitution and gambling is "not unlawful" in private.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Monkey "You can eat it or vape it anywhere in public, no one will even notice."

Channeling Tommy Tutone?

Monkey
Monkey

@Cognitive_Dissident Relax.... Suck some vapor or eat a muffin in any bathroom you want, I don't care. You can eat it or vape it anywhere in public, no one will even notice.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

@Monkey

  1. Show me where I indicated that the "place" was protected, rather than the person. People are said to have an expectation of privacy.
  2. See where I indicated that smoke wafting out might affect your privacy.
  3. I guess you didn't follow the link. The article was very clear that you do enjoy privacy in a "public bathroom" stall.
  4. Also see where I said I expect this privacy to go away, in time.
  5. Finally, I don't smoke, anything.

Monkey
Monkey

@Cognitive_Dissident The Fourth Amendment protects people, not places. For example, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy in conversations or other sounds inside your own home that a person outside could hear, or odors that a passerby could smell. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your office, so long as it’s not open to the public, but if there is a part of your office where the public is allowed, like a reception area or bathroom, those areas are not private and need no warrant to enter. It's creative but wont hold up in court, you must prove the expectation of privacy is one that society as a whole would think is legitimate, and I don't think society would agree with you. You got that tent set up yet, I'll take a toke.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Monkey @DonkeyHotay 

Private Gambling between individuals who are social associates is not illegal in Colorado.

Give away the sex for free ... as a prize ... and you can live the dream.

Now Trending

Denver Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...