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Photos: Top ten Colorado mentions in The Onion

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Big photos below.
Next week's edition of The Onion will be the last in Denver, thanks to the Denver Post's decision to stop printing the paper. To mark this awful sign of the times, and to echo Onion CEO Steve Hannah's call for local readers to switch to the web version, we've photo-illustrated and compiled excerpts from our ten favorite online items that mention Colorado. You'll laugh 'til you cry, or you remember you won't be able to pick up a physical copy of the Onion anymore.

Number 10: "Colorado Judge Imposes Ban on Same-Sex Friendships"

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The controversial decision is based on the case of Greeley, CO, residents John Rooney and Frank Costanada, two friends who were planning a weekend rock-climbing trip to Yosemite National Park this July. After their travel agent informed local authorities that she suspected they were friends, a local appellate court blocked the trip, deeming it "wholly inappropriate."

"These two men were in great danger of enjoying each other's company," the judge said. "They may have attempted to communicate meaningfully with each other, shared stories and anecdotes, or possibly even engaged in physical contact, such as 'high-fiving' after a successful climb."

"Such behavior," the judge added, "is an abomination." (June 4, 1996)

Number 9: "Report: Swelling Hippie Herds Pose Threat To Delicate Freakosystem"

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"Each summer, the hippie herds migrate north to Boulder, wiping out 80 to 90 percent of the hummus supply of the regions through which they pass," National Park Service director Roger Kennedy said. "In certain parts of Colorado, by mid-August, the patchouli reservoirs are entirely drained." (December 9, 1998)
Continue to keep counting down our ten favorite Colorado mentions in The Onion.


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23 comments
Jeremy Coss
Jeremy Coss

Hmm, it appears there have only been Colorado mentions in the last two years

Jeremy Coss
Jeremy Coss

I've been only reading it digital for a while now

Jordana Sturaro
Jordana Sturaro

I would be even more bummed out about it if they still had the AV Crossword in the back.

Doug Hubka
Doug Hubka

The box near my office in Cherry Creek is empty. Too bad, always was a good lunch read

Tanya McAvoy
Tanya McAvoy

I couldnt even find one this week. All of the Onion boxes are gone!

Nacho_Panza
Nacho_Panza

[ reposted deleted comment made by my master Donkey Hotay ]

Here's Weedword's -- Voice Media's -- chance to scoop-up some low hanging fruit and JV with The Onion to continue their Denver print edition ... perhaps as an insert to WW's anemic print edition.

Or does WW want the comedic market all to itself?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

This comment is no longer visible...

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

This comment is no longer visible.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

[ reposted deleted comment ]

Here's Weedword's -- Voice Media's -- chance to scoop-up some low hanging fruit and JV with The Onion to continue their Denver print edition ... perhaps as an insert to WW's anemic print edition. 

Or does WW want the comedic market all to itself?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Here's Weedword's -- Voice Media's -- chance to scoop-up some low hanging fruit and JV with The Onion to continue their Denver print edition ... perhaps as an insert to WW's anemic print edition.

Or does WW want the comedic market all to itself?

Lucas Jeffery
Lucas Jeffery

It's understandable. More and more people read news (and satirical news) online nowadays. Maybe they can use the saved costs to produce more online material.

Dan Brown
Dan Brown

The Onion started out as a free-weekly in Madison Wisconsin. Back then it was black and white, but it was still awesome. They have expanded so much, and it's amazing how big they are now... but they lost much of their writing staff recently when management told them they all had to move from New York to Chicago. It will be interesting to see if they can stay at the top of their game through this.

Deborah Watts
Deborah Watts

Do I remember The Onion Milwaukee paper in the 70s?

Doug Hubka
Doug Hubka

Always good lunch time reading, I will miss it.

Jason Hornyak
Jason Hornyak

what am i supposed to read on the shitter now :(

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