Photos: Top ten Colorado mentions in The Onion
Next week's edition of The Onion will be the last in Denver, thanks to the Denver Post's decision to stop printing the paper. To mark this awful sign of the times, and to echo Onion CEO Steve Hannah's call for local readers to switch to the web version, we've photo-illustrated and compiled excerpts from our ten favorite online items that mention Colorado. You'll laugh 'til you cry, or you remember you won't be able to pick up a physical copy of the Onion anymore.
Big photos below.
Number 10: "Colorado Judge Imposes Ban on Same-Sex Friendships"
The controversial decision is based on the case of Greeley, CO, residents John Rooney and Frank Costanada, two friends who were planning a weekend rock-climbing trip to Yosemite National Park this July. After their travel agent informed local authorities that she suspected they were friends, a local appellate court blocked the trip, deeming it "wholly inappropriate."
"These two men were in great danger of enjoying each other's company," the judge said. "They may have attempted to communicate meaningfully with each other, shared stories and anecdotes, or possibly even engaged in physical contact, such as 'high-fiving' after a successful climb."
"Such behavior," the judge added, "is an abomination." (June 4, 1996)
"Each summer, the hippie herds migrate north to Boulder, wiping out 80 to 90 percent of the hummus supply of the regions through which they pass," National Park Service director Roger Kennedy said. "In certain parts of Colorado, by mid-August, the patchouli reservoirs are entirely drained." (December 9, 1998)Continue to keep counting down our ten favorite Colorado mentions in The Onion.