Photos: Top ten Colorado mentions in The Onion
Number 6: "Boulder, Colorado, Named Best Place To Raise Abducted Children"
The picturesque city of Boulder once again placed first in American Living's annual tally of the nation's 20 best places to raise abducted children, taking top honors for the third consecutive year.
"With plenty of cultural amenities, unsurpassed recreational opportunities, and an inviting lack of neighborhood watch groups, Boulder is the ideal place to raise a captive family," the magazine's editors wrote in a two-page feature spread. "The city is large enough for new residents to quickly blend in, yet small enough that one could easily track down a child who manages to escape from the attic crawlspace in the dead of night." (July 17, 2010)
"Despite the fact that over a century has since passed, a great deal of bad blood remains between these rival groups," said Regis University historian Dr. Kyle Larson, explaining that the full-scale war erupted after Denver officials sent an army of 40,000 soldiers into Baltimore to quell violent protests of Colorado's admittance to the Union. "The horrors of those barbaric times are forever woven into the history of these states." (January 12, 2013)Continue to keep counting down our ten favorite Colorado mentions in The Onion.