Photos: Top ten Colorado mentions in The Onion


Number 2: "Aspen Police Continue Search For Missing Ski"
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"We're doing everything we can to ensure the safe return of the ski, but as of now, we have very, very little to go on," said Pitkin County sheriff Joe DiSalvo, confirming the missing equipment is one half of a pair of Rossignol S80s belonging to a part-time Aspen resident. "The important thing is that we not panic. I assure you, we're using every resource at our disposal to find this ski and bring it home safely." (April 13, 2011)

Number 1: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman"

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"Male voters from 18 to 85 were shown pictures of the candidates running in the midterms elections and then a picture of a naked lady," head pollster Gerald Walton said. "Across the board, they favored the naked lady."

"Even in highly contested Senate races in Colorado, Nevada, and Pennsylvania, it would have been a naked-lady sweep," Walton added. "And a naked woman would have easily been elected governor in all 37 states where the office was up for grabs." (November 11, 2010)

More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Photos: Colorado People of Walmart, 2013 edition."



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23 comments
Jeremy Coss
Jeremy Coss

Hmm, it appears there have only been Colorado mentions in the last two years

Jeremy Coss
Jeremy Coss

I've been only reading it digital for a while now

Jordana Sturaro
Jordana Sturaro

I would be even more bummed out about it if they still had the AV Crossword in the back.

Doug Hubka
Doug Hubka

The box near my office in Cherry Creek is empty. Too bad, always was a good lunch read

Tanya McAvoy
Tanya McAvoy

I couldnt even find one this week. All of the Onion boxes are gone!

Nacho_Panza
Nacho_Panza

[ reposted deleted comment made by my master Donkey Hotay ]

Here's Weedword's -- Voice Media's -- chance to scoop-up some low hanging fruit and JV with The Onion to continue their Denver print edition ... perhaps as an insert to WW's anemic print edition.

Or does WW want the comedic market all to itself?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

This comment is no longer visible...

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

This comment is no longer visible.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

[ reposted deleted comment ]

Here's Weedword's -- Voice Media's -- chance to scoop-up some low hanging fruit and JV with The Onion to continue their Denver print edition ... perhaps as an insert to WW's anemic print edition. 

Or does WW want the comedic market all to itself?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Here's Weedword's -- Voice Media's -- chance to scoop-up some low hanging fruit and JV with The Onion to continue their Denver print edition ... perhaps as an insert to WW's anemic print edition.

Or does WW want the comedic market all to itself?

Lucas Jeffery
Lucas Jeffery

It's understandable. More and more people read news (and satirical news) online nowadays. Maybe they can use the saved costs to produce more online material.

Dan Brown
Dan Brown

The Onion started out as a free-weekly in Madison Wisconsin. Back then it was black and white, but it was still awesome. They have expanded so much, and it's amazing how big they are now... but they lost much of their writing staff recently when management told them they all had to move from New York to Chicago. It will be interesting to see if they can stay at the top of their game through this.

Deborah Watts
Deborah Watts

Do I remember The Onion Milwaukee paper in the 70s?

Doug Hubka
Doug Hubka

Always good lunch time reading, I will miss it.

Jason Hornyak
Jason Hornyak

what am i supposed to read on the shitter now :(

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