Photos: Top ten Colorado mentions in The Onion
Categories: Lists & Weirdness, Media
Number 2: "Aspen Police Continue Search For Missing Ski"
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"We're doing everything we can to ensure the safe return of the ski, but as of now, we have very, very little to go on," said Pitkin County sheriff Joe DiSalvo, confirming the missing equipment is one half of a pair of Rossignol S80s belonging to a part-time Aspen resident. "The important thing is that we not panic. I assure you, we're using every resource at our disposal to find this ski and bring it home safely." (April 13, 2011)
Number 1: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman"
"Male voters from 18 to 85 were shown pictures of the candidates running in the midterms elections and then a picture of a naked lady," head pollster Gerald Walton said. "Across the board, they favored the naked lady.""Even in highly contested Senate races in Colorado, Nevada, and Pennsylvania, it would have been a naked-lady sweep," Walton added. "And a naked woman would have easily been elected governor in all 37 states where the office was up for grabs." (November 11, 2010)
More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Photos: Colorado People of Walmart, 2013 edition."
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