Matthew Tello's schmucky explanation for trying to strangle cop: "I'm drunk, it's my birthday"


matthew tello portrait.jpg
A Tello portrait.
The Boulder Daily Camera reports that Tello taunted the officer so loudly he could be heard over the police radio when the officer pushed its emergency button. By the time another BPD rep arrived, the first cop and Tello were engaged in a fight that didn't end until officer number two tackled the suspect to the ground.

Later, the female officer reported that she'd tried to handcuff Tello, but after successfully securing one hand, he used the other to grab her by the throat and squeeze. Moreover, the choking apparently continued even after she threatened to shoot him and began reaching for her gun.

When he was finally subdued, Tello offered an explanation for his behavior: "I'm drunk, it's my birthday."

In recognition of this special occasion, the officers arrested Tello on suspicion of first- and second-degree assault, resisting arrest, being an accessory to a crime, driving under the influence (on his bike), obstructing a police officer and felony menacing. But there are no charges related to damaging the car -- the incident that set the chain of events in motion -- since Tello wasn't the one doing the banging and kicking. That was his passenger, who has yet to be found.

Now that Tello's sobered up, he's apparently developed laryngitis. Look below to see a larger version of his mug shot and the aforementioned police report.

matthew tello mug shot.jpg
Matthew Tello.

Matthew Tello Arrest Report

More from our Schmuck of the Week archive: "Takai Beard makes schmucky decision to leave her kids in running car -- which was then stolen."


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12 comments
Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

I wish I could strangle a cop for my B-Day !!!

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

"But there are no charges related to damaging the car."

Of course not. The cops don't care about that. Screw the victim! To them it's about control. After all that, he'll be doing hard time for Contempt of Cop. He should be held responsible for injuring the cop, if he did. He should also be held responsible for the damage to the car, which he should have to pay for, in full, including any other costs incurred by the owner.

It doesn't really matter whether "he was the one doing the banging and kicking" as he was an accessory. If he wasn't, the cop would be looking at a false arrest (unless they plan on going with the "drunk driving" charge for him riding a bike on private property while drunk.)

Let's just say the cops will do what they always do: make it up as they go along. At least this guy actually harmed someone, so he probably has it coming.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Who hires a 5'1" woman as a cop?


Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

..... he has a fucking neck !

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

...... or forever be asking yourself WHY you passed on choking a cop !....

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

..... the officer had forgotten his scarf & his neck appeared cold .

It was an act of kindness by the alleged attacker & nothing more !

It would've been the same had his balls gotten chilly!

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

Reason for choking a cop ???

Hmmmm .......

Need there be one ??? !!!

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

I'm SURE the cops involved are ALL being %100 truthful .....

sherm
sherm

Hey man,you just get arrested for trying to strangle a cop? If you were black ,your ass would have been toasted!

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

@DonkeyHotay THAT is a crime, since you don't seem to know the difference between a crime and a violation of a silly statute. This guy's going away for a long time.

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

@DonkeyHotay     'The Lolli-Pop Guild' ....

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