Coy Mathis, transgender first-grader, hits New York Times as school district responds

The child looks like a boy in the face and why is the mom always holding only this child in all photos?

people who kill themselves are not heroes and get no sympathy from me...life hard deal with it.

    As a parent with 3 kids of my own (age almost 5 to age 20) plus two step-kids, and as the parent of a daughter who at age 2.5 began insisting that she was my son, I really need to weigh in here.  Age six is far too young to be certain as to what a child's gender identity is, and this kid may well (if his parents leave him alone and just get him gender-neutral clothing) grow out of this.

    I have a daughter (almost nine at the present).  Starting when she was about 2.5 she began insisting that she was a boy.  It didn't stop, no matter how much I gently tried to explain that no, really, she was a girl. By the time she was 3.5, she was refusing to wear dresses, and would scream and tantrum if I tried to put her in them.  

     When she was age 4 or so, I once had kids come up to me in the park, and ask me "is 'that' a boy or a girl?"  I said she was a girl.  They said "then why does she say she is a boy?"  At that time, I didn't have any reasonable response except to say that some people are born into the wrong body and that even though she had a girl body, she thought she had a boy mind.  My daughter continued to insist that she was a boy, only wanted boy toys, and would get very upset if anyone referred to her as a girl.

     So for kindergarten, I regretfully gave up on the cute pink frilly things that I'd set my heart on, and instead bought my daughter all sorts of gender-neutral clothing-- blue jeans, navy, grey, red and black sweat pants, navy, grey, yellow, red and black sweat-shirts, red chuckie taylor sneakers that could have been for either gender, and gender-neutral animal and sea-life t-shirts.  I wasn't entirely convinced that my daughter was transgendered, but if she was (and I was starting to think so, given that she had been insisting for 2 years that she was male), at least this was a neutral way to subtly go about things without raising a ruckus or drawing attention to my child (or her siblings).  Also, she has a very unusual Greek name that few in the US will peg for either a girl's or boy's name.  So when kindergarten started, she had all sorts of gender-neutral clothing, and a gender-neutral hairstyle, so she wouldn't stand out, regardless of which gender she said she was.  Plenty of time for these things to be figured out, I thought.

     Maybe 2-3 weeks into kindergarten, my daughter (who had just spent the past 2 years insisting she was a boy and getting very angry when anyone such as myself said otherwise), began asking me, each morning, if the clothing I'd laid out for her was "girl clothes."  I initially said that the clothing was for either a girl or a boy.  She started expressing frustration-- now she wanted only girl clothing!

     Since then, she has wanted to wear girl clothing (as long as it is not a dress or skirt-- she says she feels "funny" in a dress or skirt).  She is extremely physically active and has more friends that are boys than are girls, but it's been over three years since she's said she was a boy.  

     Age six is, indeed, way too young to be pushing a child toward any gender identification.  What is wrong with gender-neutral clothing for this child?  For example blue jeans, a purple shirt, a gender-neutral necklace, short but not too-short hair, and purple or green chuckie taylors?  His parents could always let him have colored undies and girlie socks underneath.  But my daughter's experience really shows that age 6 is way too young for certain.  By age 9 or 10 is a wholly different matter.  But age 6, it seems like the parents are way too wrapped up in this.  

When I was 4 I identified as Superman. i wore a Superman outfit and tried to jump off the roof. BTW...I am NOT Superman.

Forcing her to dress and act like a boy just because she was born male would be an example of making a decision for her. Allowing her to dress and act however feels natural to her is just freedom of choice.

The fact that these parents are making a decision for their child is deplorable. I don't want someone from an opposite gender in my bathroom. Period. Somewhere in here there needs to be respect for everyone else.

@Chris Estus, I wish I could live in the simple world you do where everything is just black or white, on or off, up or down. And I think you need to do more research on the subject of Gender Identity Disorder before you go making statements about how someone else feels. I bet you don't know any transgender people so your argument has no weight anyways. Would I care if this GIRL was next to another GIRL in the bathroom in high school, middle school, elementary school, daycare or even Outback Steakhouse? No. Even a unisex bathroom shouldn't matter if you teach your children to behave with dignity and respect (don't screw in public bathrooms, mind your business, etc). Parents are supposed to teach their children to make good choices, how to be responsible, to have accountability, to be kind to others, how to read, write and speak properly, to have respect for others, etc. Not on how to be a proper male or female and CERTAINLY NOT make gender identity, sexual identity or sexual orientation decisions for them. Nobody is condemning HER to anything. They're allowing HER to identify how SHE feels. Just because this child was born with a penis doesn't mean SHE wants to play with GI Joes or wear boys clothes. SHE feels comfortable wearing girls clothes and maybe even prefers barbies or my little pony. And you're suggesting HER parents FORCE HER to wear clothes SHE doesn't like and play with toys that don't interest her because SHE was born with a penis? That's ridiculous and disgusting! And no, it's not the same as forcing your child to eat their veggies, clean their room or go to school even if they don't want to. Do you also agree with arranged marriage? Obviously young people are too inexperienced to know what qualities make for a good partner so you better pick your child's spouse for them because you know what's best. And I think the word you were looking for is beliefs not believes.

@Patricia do you REALLY think a 4 or 5 year old has a sexual identity? They siad some dumb ass Dr. confirmed this crap a year ago? Please these people are condeming this kid to a screwed up life just because they have certain believes. This is why we have parents to GUIDE us, not to make us a target at school and in public. How many of you are going to want him in the girls bathroom in High School? Do really want him in the stall next to your daughter when he is 16? Sorry if you got one hanging you go in the mens room end of story.

When I was that age I I would have been perfectly happy to use the nurses or faculty restroom. Nothing to do with gender identification. Just cleaner and less creepy all the way around. This seems like a decent compromise in light of there has never been previous president set. Perhaps when she's a little older she could choose the restroom herself.

as someone who knows transgender individuals i applaud these parents for having the strength to do what most do not. one thing most transgender individuals wish, is that they would of been able to transition before puberty...rather than having to wait till they are a legal adult. most transgender children recognize they are so by age 4. she is not a boy that likes to wear dresses, most boys like to play dress up in their moms clothes. transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex, which is anatomy, and their gender, which includes behaviors, roles and activities. if you know nothing about this subject you should keep your thoughts to your self. if you think her parents are classifying her as a female just because she likes to put on dresses...you are an idiot and should educate yourself. i apologize to all the transgender individuals out there for all the asshole comments.

I don't know if there is a right answer. If she goes to the girls bathroom and another girl sees her standing up and facing the oppisite direction it could raise a lot of concern, but if a girl goes to the boys bathroom its going to cause the boys to be uncomfortable. These are 1st graders not adults. They don't understand transgenders and I think its too complicated for a young child to understand.

Gender identification is not a determining factor for eligibilty to earn an education, regardless of this students age. He or she should not be banned frm attending school, especially a public institution, based on gender. Classic textbook descrimination.

I say congratulations to Coy's parents for being astute enough to recognize her orientation, and having the courage to do something about it! Shame on the school district for not working to find an equitable solution.

And what's your reasoning for that statement Chris Estus? Also, *girl and *her and the appropriate pronouns for your sentence.

This boy should be taken from his useless idiot parents.

Fuck this post and whoever at westword that put it up.

how fucked up is this. That poor kid. As a teen, imagine a "coming out" as a straight, non-transgender person a possibility. I can just imagine the parents horror...

When my brother was 4 he wanted to be a duck, when he was 6 he wanted to be a rabbit. This is insanity. Here's the thing, Mathis adults: your kids can't have everything they want. Huge life lesson. You have a penis, you're a boy, boys pee here. Done. You can make sex identity decisions when you're in your teens. This country has gone insane when it comes to child-rearing. This kid will be cheated of a normal childhood because of this craziness.

look..im all for gay rights and people identifying as other genders and what not. surgeries, gay marriage...whatever. fine. but this is a 6 year old child. a 6 year old doesnt know the difference between dolls and baseball bats. theyre both toys...... a 6 yr old will plsy dress up in mommy or daddys clothes..the child doesnt care. If Coy does turn out to be a transgender human thats fine.... but in what capacity does that decision have to be made at 6 years old?? A 6 year old shouldnt have to be making decisions like this. Or even knowing the difference. There are hundreds of thousands of respectable transgender people on this earth.....but this is the first story of a child..a SIX YEAR OLD BABY.....dealing with this . These parents arent being progressive they are being ridiculous. way to rob a kid of its childhood.