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Deviate sex at hotels (and adultery) about to become legal in Colorado: Party time!

Categories: Politics

adultery 205x205.jpg
Big photos below.
Today, the Colorado State Senate gave its approval to a bill that would do away with Colorado sex laws that date back to the '50s.

To be more specific: the 1850s.

Yep, legislation now headed to the desk of Governor John Hickenlooper (who's expected to sign it) is designed to wipe from the books statutes whose roots stretch back more than a century and a half. What exactly would it do -- and allow you to do? We've photo-illustrated the details below.

Adultery

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The current statute cited in House Bill 13-1166, shared below in its entirety, reads: "Any sexual intercourse by a married person other than with that person's spouse is adultery, which is prohibited."

That means anyone who cheated on his or her betrothed since the period prior to the Civil War wasn't only acting like an asshole. No, they were also breaking the law in Colorado, before the territory had even graduated to statehood! Granted, no one's been prosecuted for this offense in a very long time. Otherwise, a lot of us, and our parents, would have spent significant time in the hoosgow.

As a bonus, the repeal frees up the Hickenloopers, who are currently separated, to exercise their prerogatives before their divorce is finalized without fear of the Booty-Call Police fitting them with handcuffs.

Not that we're suggesting they'd engage in extra-curricular behavior before their split is made permanent. Or that they'd enjoy wearing handcuffs....

Continue for more about legislation allowing deviate sex at hotels and adultery.


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23 comments
Lindsey Asselin
Lindsey Asselin

You are probably right Gene, but like you said, you can't please everybody. However, why don't we spend more energy enforcing the laws that we have to find out if they work, and not waste our resources on laws that are irrelevant like this one above. If we focused energy toward important things, then maybe those things would improve; but it seems that we dismiss so many laws, why do we bother?

Gene Duran
Gene Duran

Lindsey, When laws are enforced, Bleeding hearts come out of the woodwork and complain. You can't please everbody.

Mozart99
Mozart99

Hey Charlie Brown, if you are listening, Amsterdam is known more for Rembrandt and other artists than pot.

Lindsey Asselin
Lindsey Asselin

Does the government enforce any of its laws? Why get married then; it is essentially a contract? Why would the government allow people to break these important contracts? Anyone who thinks this is cool sucks. If you think lying and cheating and hurting people that you care about is a good thing, then you are destroying your own life. This is like making a law that requires a person to have a driver's license in order to drive, and then not arresting an illegal immigrant when caught driving. Oh wait the government allows that. This is like making laws that arrest people for beating others, but allows police officers to put people in the hospital all bloody and hurt....oh wait the government allows that too. This is like arresting a person for murder through poison, but allowing large corporations to manipulate and taint real food sources.....oh, yeah, wait, they do that too. So what are they getting out of this law. what type of benefit are they deriving to make them waste our tax payer money on this type of BS?

Stacey Rogers
Stacey Rogers

"Deviate" sex is what I had in my last relationship: I'll try "deviant" sex in the next one!

Rob Salyers
Rob Salyers

Another boost to Colorado tourism, maybe? :)

Melissa Wahe
Melissa Wahe

It is "deviant" not deviate. Please proofread your articles.

Kurtis Brunnemer
Kurtis Brunnemer

What the hell is going on with Colorado this about to get legal and pot is legal but they start taking our gun rights away.WTF

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Mozart99 ... stupid stoners think other stupid stoners are stupid enough to travel all the way to Amsterdam just to get high on some overpriced hash.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Lindsey Asselin ... so who's forcing YOU to break any contracts, or engage in sexual behavior you don't like?

If you want MORE BigGovernment restriction and control over the personal life you fear so much, move to Saudi Arabia.

jimUSA
jimUSA

@Stacey Rogers  Unfortunately, the article is correct.  What the law actually says is "deviate."  Another testament to the geniuses that wrote it.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Stacey Rogers 

WW = Journalism Fail!

Hey Mikey -- how many eighths are in an ounce?


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Rob Salyers ... Porn, Pot and Prostitutes ... the tourism trifecta

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Melissa Wahe 

Patty Calhoun allows her writers to get stoned on the job ... since Westweed's primary reader demographic is illiterate potheads.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Kurtis Brunnemer ... why would you need a gun if you're busy getting stoned and having sex?


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Timothy Black ... as evidenced by the copious display ads for Prostitution that make up Westword's back pages.


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