Photos: Creepiest Craigslist IT ad ever

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Big photos below.
We've cataloged the weirdest posts on Denver Craigslist a number of times over the years, so we've got a pretty good sense of the oddities that can be found on the site. But even we were caught off guard by the ad "IT Girl Needed ASAP." It's been flagged for removal and will probably be gone soon if it hasn't already vanished. Fortunately, though, a web surfer managed to save the text and images for posterity, dubbing the results "creepy craigslist guy." Based on the twisted pics and info below, we think you'll agree.

The term "IT Girl" isn't used by coincidence. The text stresses that the man behind the ad wants "Ladies Only," for reasons that have to do with compensation.

"Your IT skills for dates with me on me! No kidding," writes the man -- presumably the guy at the center of this distinguished-looking head shot, although there's no way to tell for certain:

creepy.craigslist.it.ad.1.jpg
If the IT abilities needed are gender-specific, the ad doesn't explain why. But it's easy to come up with a hypothesis. "I am desperate to get IT help implementing a new business adventure in online Internet marketing and am overwhelmed with the initial implementation," the ad continues. "You give me your IT skills and time and I give you the full tilt Goddess treatment! Dates with me, on me, messages [massages?] with scented oils, the romance & sensuality...full montey [sic] head to foot!

"I am absolutely not kidding!" the copy reiterates. "Doesn't matter who you are. You got IT skills, I got romance skills....let's barter."

The sign-off: "Lots and lol:)"

Laughs out-loud may be triggered by extra photos included in the material sent to us. For instance, this one has a rough-and-ready feel thanks to the wife-beater T-shirt and the wacky fashion choice of a trucker cap and sunglasses worn inside while posing by a blazing fire:

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That "sensuality" mentioned earlier gets amped up considerably in other images. As you can see, there's more than a little chestiness in this photo....

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61 comments
Jenn Kirk
Jenn Kirk

C+ try harder Denver Westword, Ive seen MUCH creepier posts on Craigslist

Charlene McCune
Charlene McCune

There really are men who are that self deluded in Denver? No wonder women whine all the time about finding a man.... even the semi good looking ones are weirdos...

Stephanie Gordon
Stephanie Gordon

I swear I saw this guy with a woman who was about his age here in Colorado Springs a couple of weeks ago. They were having a bit of an argument...

Scott R. Shriver
Scott R. Shriver

Denver Westword, you're fast becoming a lather, rinse repeat type news paper. STOP IT.

NickatNight
NickatNight

Michael Roberts sounds jealous. Is this smuck really that interesting, Michael Roberts?

Andrew Cleair
Andrew Cleair

i'm getting laid off from my i.t. job, but something tells me this cat doesn't really have many broken computers. and i have a wang.

Michelle Pearl Mobley
Michelle Pearl Mobley

People are still discovering this because the lame web team at Westword love to dig up old crap.

Jen Ant
Jen Ant

Dear bunch of bullies at the Westword, I hope you get sued for defamation.

jenniferantoniou
jenniferantoniou

Awe that's sad that you are humiliating him. Perhaps he's really lonely. I hope he doesn't sue you for defaming him like this and taking his images and using them out of context. 

Ellen Kessler
Ellen Kessler

I worked for Westword nearly 30 years ago. You want to talk about strange and creepy? I was in charge of the Back Page when it included romance advertisements. Whew.

Veronica Crowell
Veronica Crowell

Seriously man, just call the Geek Squad and get it over with.

Steve Holmberg
Steve Holmberg

Repeat sensational and questionably titillating stories much?

BlondyVanWeirden
BlondyVanWeirden

That fireplace isn't indoors.  That is an outdoor, patio fireplace...like something a wealthy cat would have as part of his pad.

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

Make no mistake, Roberts IS a very talented writer . It's a shame his 'IT' goes wasted .....

Quantaray
Quantaray

Sad what loneliness will drive a man to do.   But at least he's trying.  I've given up, because I've heard that's when you find someone.

mmjfreedomusa
mmjfreedomusa

OK..I guess I should think about no more C.L. ads. But the Newtimes ads worked so well. Except my 13 year  Colorado born, husband ( workn onX ), must not have read the part that said if you DO NOT abuse alcohol, drugs or PEOPLE.  I still have a very good friend, I met from one in the mid 80s. The PSYCHO factor IS a lot higher in Colorado!  BUT HAVE YOU SEEN the posts on WESTWORD? YOUWHO..DEAD DOG a few weeks ago! Friday a strange guy walked by, with a white bowl with orange stuff in it! Not jello! I hoped he had not poisoned my dogs. Yep the next day 2 sick, one dead Monday. I  hate to admit it, who I spoke with a guy on the phone, from  my C.L. ad. He was stalkerish for 2 days. Then I thought, thank GOD he just stopped Friday, the day of the Chalk Art. He even talked about a big white bowl! BET research would prove it is the guy from this past post and or other threats I have received and the police IGNORE. I keep records of this type of crap, but who cares! I could just SHUT UP as the NEGLIGENT and ABUSIVE COPS tell me. I just can not SHUT UP to WRONG!  How do YOU handle treats? Subject: defiler087 replied to you in "The Latest Word - Michael Roberts - Video: Pit bull shooting by Commerce City police officer to spur lawsuit?"

"The Latest Word - Michael Roberts - Video: Pit bull shooting by Commerce City police officer to spur lawsuit?"
http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2012/11/pit_bull_shooting_video_commerce_city.php
Stop receiving notifications about this conversation Unfollowdefiler087 said
mmjfreedomusa I want to find you and remove your reproductive organs, as well as the reproductive organs of all your family.
You don't deserve to breed. I'd also like to take your larynx and fingers as well. I feel it would be a public service to not allow you to spew you stupidity forth into the world anymore.

Mikey1969
Mikey1969

He's not "wearing sunglasses inside while posing by a blazing fire", it's a fucking patio. You think he has an atrium in his kitchen, or something?

You guys are killing Village Voice. Seriously, I try not to click on your particular paper at all in the VVM family. because there's a good chance it's garbage like this non-story. I can't believe I clicked on the second page. I figured that like Cracked.com, you guys might occasionally come up with something decent. Instead, I find more crap with stupid captions. I really should have gone out and pulled those weeds in the yard, the time spent would have been far more rewarding.

jon.wagner
jon.wagner

dude IS pretty ripped for an old guy. he should shave his head, trim a goatee, dye it brown, and get some thick framed glasses and i bet he would actually get laid.

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

I use my dog Clyde, as my 'wing man' .

" STOP THE PRESSES !!!!!!! "

Wanna judge me too, Michael ?

I'd like to see this guy run into you in a dark alley sometime .

THAT would make a MUCH better story !!!

W/ PICS !!!

RobertChase
RobertChase topcommenter

Michael, Michael, ...

"Fortunately, though, a web surfer managed to save the text and images for posterity, ,,, we think you'll agree"

 I do not agree.   The next time an impulse to write such a story besets you, go plunge your head into a bucket of ice water, take three deep breaths (after removing head from water), and write 100 times:  "I am a journalist".

urinalgum
urinalgum

So, the guy needs IT help, and he's an older gentleman. Could it be these are the only digital photos he has of himself, and he doesn't know how to get more?


I had the same problem when I was trying to scheme girls on Craigslist. I met my wife after posting the only picture I had a digital copy of

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

You would NEVER see Alan Prendergast cover a 'story' of this nature ...

Pathetic !.....

Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

@Holly Elkins   Look him up, Holly . He may be recently widowed & dating is %100 foreign to the poor guy . 

I hate bullies & unwarranted arrogance ! Pieces like this DESTROY WW's integrity !

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Mikey1969  ... Wasteword ... come for the Trite Top Ten Lists ... stay for the Comments


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@RobertChase ... your best post ever.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Sondra Teigen ... wanna date?

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Juan_Leg ... remember when Michael "fluffer" Roberts did that piece ridiculing the "ugly" mug shots of the hard-scrabble women arrested for prostitution ... and the public outcry at his puerile punkery was so extreme that WW actually retracted and removed the story?

Wonder what Mike's children think of their daddy sometime, eh?


Juan_Leg
Juan_Leg

@DonkeyHotay .....wanna date ?

One of the funniest comments you've ever made !

BlondyVanWeirden
BlondyVanWeirden

I learned, about 20 years ago, that Roberts is a douche as a reporter when he pursued me for an interview, then misquoted me, and twisted my words to mean something totally contrary to what I said.  Beware of submitting to an interview with this old guy.

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