The Onion celebrates 25th birthday: The top ten Colorado mentions

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Big photos below.
Today marks the 25th birthday of The Onion, purveyor of fake news way better than the real thing -- including lotsa stuff that didn't happen in Colorado but would have made the state a funnier place had it.

Back in January, when the last print edition of the paper was published in Denver, we assembled and photo-illustrated a list of our ten favorite Colorado mentions in The Onion -- and we think it's a fitting anniversary salute. Check it out below -- and hope the next 25 years is just as hilarious.

Number 10: "Colorado Judge Imposes Ban on Same-Sex Friendships"

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The controversial decision is based on the case of Greeley, CO, residents John Rooney and Frank Costanada, two friends who were planning a weekend rock-climbing trip to Yosemite National Park this July. After their travel agent informed local authorities that she suspected they were friends, a local appellate court blocked the trip, deeming it "wholly inappropriate."

"These two men were in great danger of enjoying each other's company," the judge said. "They may have attempted to communicate meaningfully with each other, shared stories and anecdotes, or possibly even engaged in physical contact, such as 'high-fiving' after a successful climb."

"Such behavior," the judge added, "is an abomination." (June 4, 1996)

Number 9: "Report: Swelling Hippie Herds Pose Threat To Delicate Freakosystem"

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"Each summer, the hippie herds migrate north to Boulder, wiping out 80 to 90 percent of the hummus supply of the regions through which they pass," National Park Service director Roger Kennedy said. "In certain parts of Colorado, by mid-August, the patchouli reservoirs are entirely drained." (December 9, 1998)
Continue to keep counting down our ten favorite Colorado mentions in The Onion.

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7 comments
Tyler Wood
Tyler Wood

"Westword.com is Denver's leading source of news..." Keep up the good work!

pitchman101
pitchman101

Pitkin county never did find the ski!

Steven M Palmer
Steven M Palmer

It was either this or a re-post of a re-post of a re-post of a story that was popular six months ago...

a94buff
a94buff

There was a great one years back about Sen. Allard living in the sophomore dorms.

Dev Adams
Dev Adams

"God Angerly Clarifies Do Not Kill Rule." One of the most powerful articles about 9/11 I read. Still affects me to this day. And I'm not even religious!

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