Seven more Denver women you've probably dated -- and one reader has nailed

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Big photos below.
Our post yesterday featuring ten Denver women you've probably dated inspired some love, some hate and seven great suggestions from one reader, CapHillCowboy, for other women that he feels are even more Denver-specific. And he definitely nailed them...in a manner of speaking.

Look below to check out a photo-illustrated tour of Denver dating, with CapHillCowboy as your guide. His picks should tide you over until our next installment: the ten Denver men you've probably dated.

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The Craft Beer Critic

The chick who only wants to drink "local" beer and talk about home brewing. She smells a little yeasty. And she really loves Crooked Stave. They're doing some great work over there. Let's meet Saturday at CBC.

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The "I Just Moved Here" Non-Commitmentalist

She just moved to Colorado, and although she said yes to going out on a date with you, she's not really looking for anything too serious. But maybe she will be in a few months. But maybe she won't be. She's not sure. She might travel to China over the summer. Or she may stay here and go hiking.

Continue to keep reading about seven more Denver women you've probably dated -- and one reader has nailed.


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48 comments
Sterling Meeks
Sterling Meeks

"shit talking it's fan base" This seems to pay dividends for politicians.

doodooskywalker
doodooskywalker

congrats- you just pissed off all of your women readers!!!

Sara Huang
Sara Huang

It's nice to be reminded that finding men who treat women like equals is like finding yeti: apparently they exist somewhere but no one's ever seen them. That's my take home from the flippant way you've presented this article. For at least THE THIRD TIME. Do you post it every time you get dumped? Ask a feminist why.

Val Unlisted
Val Unlisted

Ah good old westword shit talking it's fan base then waiting for an 'am I right?'

Dan Scott
Dan Scott

Do you and your sister publications just regurgitate articles from one another? Phoenix New Times just ran the same article about Arizona women.

Shae Thurman
Shae Thurman

I'm just glad I'm not dating Craig Mayball.

Lisa Ogrodowicz
Lisa Ogrodowicz

"She smells yeasty"...? You're kidding right? Line up in the Denver douche bag line, westword

Shae Whitney
Shae Whitney

I'm just glad I'm not dating whoever runs the Westword FB

Craig Maybell
Craig Maybell

Miss Splattery, the fact that you dated so many douchebags says more about YOUR character rather than that of these former partners.

Sonia Marcella Martinez
Sonia Marcella Martinez

Yeah like the jobless stoner hipsters who want to just drink PBR, smoke pot, and eat burritos all day every day.

Jenn Abell
Jenn Abell

How many times are you going to promote the same article with a different headline?

Maggie Slattery
Maggie Slattery

I think these "women" exist everywhere. Not just Denver. Your next "article" should highlight some of the douchebags I've dated.

Erica Rosenthal
Erica Rosenthal

How could we miss it... You keep re posting it over and over again. It really wasn't even that funny.

tony519
tony519

BOOM! Ya nailed it! Good shit!

Amanda Thompson
Amanda Thompson

Oh shit!!! That was awesome! Snow bunny & pretty lights aholic r the best out of all of them.

John Zeising
John Zeising

Those are good. I can think of at least 5 more.

annenoise
annenoise

Westword became Buzzfeed so gradually, I barely even noticed.

Matthew Watson
Matthew Watson

'Wasteword' started to suck long, long ago...here is another reason why

Ari Diamond
Ari Diamond

If we're going to generalize and stereotype, I'd say cross-section of Denver's men is far less diverse. I'd say there are approximately 4 distinct categories: 1. The mountain-bound skier/snowboarder- We don't care if you threw yourself out of a fucking helicopter. If you ain't pro, it's a hobby...an outrageously expensive hobby that involves controlled sliding down a big-ass hill. Unfortunately, your detached heel doesn't make your dick any bigger. 2. The "What was cool on the west coast three years ago" hipster- Pretty self-explanatory. Pitchfork is for douche bags. Don't wear a beanie if it's 70 degree outside. Neo-traditional ink is played out. Shave that god-damned mustache. 3. The highbrow mid-level programmer- Not a terrible when individually isolated, but when this Jeff Co tech-boom riding bunch gets together, it's the worst kind of boys club...basically, 13-year-olds with disposable incomes. I think this industry is largely male-dominated for a reason. You boys are intolerable. 4. Married fatties- Leave the bar. Go home to your wife and baby. We don't want you.

Sherri Lynn
Sherri Lynn

hilarious, and yes agree this could be any guy just as well.

morrisonkortney
morrisonkortney

This list is far more accurate than the original.  I actually know all of these women (and may be one of them!)

Funzy
Funzy

This is so funny and very true for both sexes alike! Seems a lot of the people in Colorado these days are trying a little bit too hard to be something.

Dave Shuck
Dave Shuck

Satire: noun - the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Relax, people, try not to personalize things so much.

Ashley Schmidt
Ashley Schmidt

This sounds like a list for every Brobrah's type of girl. Did you sit at Punchbowl while you wrote this?

Holly Elkins
Holly Elkins

This fits men as well. But let's also not forget the guy that only drinks PBR. They may or may not be a hipster.

Jordan Snyder
Jordan Snyder

Methinks it was the wrong move to post *more* narrow minded reductionist bullshit. I'm so tired of this now that I don't even want to read the Dude version, and I was originally kind of curious! I don't identify with any of these women, but I don't like that the stereotypes are even being given this much attention. Every person being an individual, all this does is reinforce a false notion that people live up to stereotypes on a regular basis. I still take it lightly, but you read more like a trashy men's health mag than a local, relevant news outlet.

Chase Ulrich
Chase Ulrich

Both lists are funny, but honestly, not gender specific really. I've met just as many dudes likes these characters as chics!

Grant Wood
Grant Wood

6 out of 10 on the first list and 6 out of 7 on this list... Hilarious!

CapHillCowboy
CapHillCowboy

@Lisa Ogrodowicz

You know, people throw the world douche bag around these days like they've forgotten what it actually refers to. Just in case you may have forgotten:

A douche refers to vaginal irrigation, typically the vagina, but it can also refer to the rinsing of any body cavity. A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching—a bag for holding the fluid used in to clean one's vagina. In fact, the use of a douche and accompanying douche bag may actually increase the likelyhood of a yeast infection. In addition, make sure the douche bag you're sleeping with is wearing a condom. The use of a douche and its accompanying douche bag only reduces the chance of pregnancy by 15%.

cafinner1
cafinner1

@Ari Diamond kind of love you with that accurate portrayal.  But you did miss one: 5) The Man Who Loves His Dog-you know this guy; he thinks all relationships with humans are flawed and only his dog will ever truly love/know him.  His dog is his soul mate and it's only because he hasn't quite reached the level of bestiality that you can find him on dating sites. 

CapHillCowboy
CapHillCowboy

@Bee Isthenew Black Awh Bee! I may or may not be someone you know. And I love ya.

CapHillCowboy
CapHillCowboy

@Jordan Snyder Awh Jordan, it's just jokes. But when a majority of your Facebook Profile photos are pictures of you snowboarding...maybe you've boxed yourself into a category without even realizing it?

For your pleasure, I will gladly write my own narrow minded reductionist bullshit.

The Too-Fast-Too-Soon Sensasquishy: He cried at the last movie he took you too. Seriously. It was Monster's Univeristy. And while you appreciate the roses, the candle lit dinners and the poetry, can't he just man up and drink a beer every once in a while?! For the love of god, what's the point of living in Colorado if you don't want to get your suit pants a little dirty. Puss.

steppesmusic
steppesmusic

@Jordan Snyder I assure you no man thinks ANY woman is this simple; in fact, I bet most feel the fairer sex is overly complicated in just about every way.  I also highly suspect this is part of the joke.

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