Medical marijuana dispensary review: Metropolis Medical in Denver

metropolis-front.jpg
When medical pot shops first started popping up in Colorado four years ago, most tried hard to differentiate themselves from their competition, whether it was through a crafty spin on cannabis-related words, a dispensary with a theme or even just a personal touch to the decor.

Conversely, Metropolis Medical -- open for about six months, according to my budtender -- is about as generic as it gets.

Metropolis Medical

4600 Ironton Street
Denver, CO 80239
303-373-9333
MetropolisMMC.com

Hours: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sunday.
Raw marijuana price range: $9-$10/gram $25-$30/eighth-ounce, $135-165/ounce.
Other types of medicine: BHO, shatter, hash, edibles.
Online menu? Yes.
Handicap-accessible? Yes.

Metropolis Medical looked more like a plumbing outlet than an MMC the day I stopped by, with pallets stacked up in the snow along the chain-link fence surrounding the parking lot and a clean white commode sitting dead center in the middle of it. A tattered string of multi-colored parking flags rings the perimeter, though the Metropolis Medical sign isn't hard to miss even from the street. What was also unavoidable was a sign hanging on the fence for CCF, a dispensary we visited in March of 2012 -- after which we walked out nonplussed.

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Not quite sure what shop I was visiting, I parked and made my way into the lobby and handed over my red card and ID to the guy behind the counter. He buzzed me through the red security door into a patient lounge littered with boxes on the floor and a counter also occupied by someone's half-eaten lunch. It's clean otherwise. That is, the brand-new leather couch, coffee tables and flat-screen television weren't scuffed up and battered like used furniture. Framed close-up photos of beautiful buds were hung on the walls, reminding you of exactly what the shop is selling. Nothing exciting. Just chairs, weed pictures and a few touches of green paint here and there. It could be any dispensary.

The one thing that does stand out is the overwhelming grow-room fertilizer stink permeating the entire office. It was like being trapped in a plant nursery with no ventilation, and I have no idea how the two guys working there can stand it for more than thirty minutes at a time.

After a few minutes of wait time, I was called back to the bud bar, which (like the waiting room) could double as the set for a series of stock dispensary photos. Typical black wood-and-glass countertop set up with a price board on the wall behind the budtenders and rows of ganja in jars on the shelves below. Another display counter to the left held all of the shop's hash and concentrates. Bud is broken down into two price tiers, with a green label distinguishing the cheaper herb from the slightly more expensive red-labeled strains.

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I didn't really see a difference in quality between the two levels, though. Most of the bud fell squarely into the mid-grade-generic-warehouse-weed category, regardless of the price. My budtender, a tall, nice guy, was trying to sell me on strains like the Banana Kush and Larry OG, but neither of the usually uber-stinky and distinct-smelling strains tickled my nose enough to be worth taking home. Both fell short and came across as somewhat bland, despite having a decently chunky, crystallized appearance. Same for the Blue Dream, which was missing the heavy lavender undertones that make that strain such a mellowing, wonderful treat.

Continue for the rest of the review and photos.

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8 comments
Becca Miller
Becca Miller

Wah wah who cares? Just get your bud and go.

Maggie May
Maggie May

You have the best job in the world!:)

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay

Only Puerile Pot Punks buy their pot on Ironton street under such a sign.

CJW81
CJW81

I'd like to hear this story.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@DonkeyHotayFake <== only shitsucking sycophants can't come up with their own screen name.



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