Top ten most popular Schmucks of 2013

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More photos below.
Each Friday, we feature our choice for the Schmuck of the Week. So, with the year winding down, how did we determine the top ten? We let you do it.

The following Schmucks starred in the ten most popular Schmuck of the Week posts published over the course of 2013.

Check out excerpts from each entry, and click on the headlines or final links to read the original items.

Count down 2013's schmuckiest Schmucks below.

Number 10: "Autumn Guillot, schmuck, embezzled from bank where she was one of just two fulltime staffers."

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Big photos below.
We here at Schmuck of the Week HQ aren't criminals -- really! -- so it's hard to put ourselves in the mind of lawbreakers and miscreants. Yet it still makes sense to us for people stealing stuff from their workplace to make sure there are a lot of other suspects in case the thefts come to light.

Apparently, Autumn Guillot disagreed, since she swiped a six-figure sum from a credit union where she was one of only two fulltime employees. How'd the cops figure out it was her? Here's Guillot's schmucky story.

In 2011, according to the Jefferson County District Attorney's Office, Guillot was working as an assistant branch manager at the Credit Union of the Rockies in Black Hawk when a spot audit revealed some ledger discrepancies.

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The Credit Union of the Rockies branch in Black Hawk.
Turns out some of the deposits listed in said ledger were never received by the credit union's clearinghouse.

And who maintained the ledger? You guessed correctly. The DA's office says she lifted small amounts of money from the vault over the course of 2011, altering the ledger each time. But this tactic failed. Why? Maybe because those small amounts added up to a big one: $275,795.

As for what she did with this much coin, the prosecutors aren't sure. But they note that Guillot regularly gambled at area casinos throughout the year, racking up $73,000 in carded gambling....

Originally published May 3. To read the complete post, click here.

Number 9: "Sarah Wolfe and pals accused of schmucky plan to smuggle drugs into jail."

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Big photos below.
As we know, plenty of people go to jail because of drugs. Sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly, but frequently.

But only a chosen few face time behind bars because they try to bring narcotics into jail. Like, for instance, Schmuck of the Week nominees Sarah Wolfe and Ronald Boyken, who are accused of conspiring with Guy Acosta in just such a scheme.

Acosta won't have far to go if he's convicted, since he's already an inmate.

According to Fox21 TV, deputies at the Pueblo County Detention Center learned that a woman -- Wolfe -- was involved in a conspiracy.

The goal of that nefarious plot? To hide narcotics (the Pueblo Chieftain identifies the substance as heroin) in the detention lobby bathroom.

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The Pueblo County Detention Center.
Wolfe was allegedly acting at the request of Acosta. And her accused co-conspirator? Ronald Boyken, 47, who was charged with the actual drug transfer.

Deputies reportedly searched the bathroom beforehand, so they could be sure no drugs were already there -- raising the question of how often this happens. Do bags of this stuff randomly pile up in the corners of stalls?

At any rate, Wolfe and Boyken arrived at the center on Wednesday, after which Boyken went to the jail window and asked to use the men's room key. He then went inside, while Wolfe lingered in a nearby hallway.

After Boyken finished doing his business, whatever it was, the deputies returned to the lavatory and found drugs hidden inside. Upon making this discovery, they radioed colleagues who'd followed Wolfe and Boyken to their car.

Boyken was busted immediately, while Wolfe was allowed a little more freedom before being taken into custody yesterday, both of them are cooling their heels thanks to a $50,000 bond that was also slapped on Acosta. The twosome plus Acosta are suspected of contraband introduction and possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute, the Chieftain notes....

Originally published March 8. To read the complete post, click here.

Continue to keep counting down the top ten most popular Schmucks of 2013.


My Voice Nation Help
12 comments
guest
guest

Westword, what do you do for a living? You write blogs on the internet? I think we all know who's the schmuck here.

guest
guest

What about you people who work 40 hours a week for bum paychecks?

Rahhb Ziller
Rahhb Ziller

Do I really have to load 5 pages for a top 10 list, Westword? This why I rarely even click your posted kinks. Bad, Webmaster, bad!

Jonathan Cairo
Jonathan Cairo

Haha! My dad's fraternity had that as well back when he was in his undergrad. Granted, it was a predominantly Jewish fraternity, hence the "schmuck."

Sterling Meeks
Sterling Meeks

They've taken over the Internet. It's called anti-social media.

Jennifer Todd Kepner
Jennifer Todd Kepner

Kind of agree with Holly Martinez. I go to the link to read the rest of the article and it just turns out to be really silly or just dumb.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

FunFact -- When Wasteword began this inane series, they couldn't even spell SCHMUCK correctly.


How fuckin' schmucky is that ??


.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay

Again, where is my listing?  How many obscene, annoying posts do I have to write to be recognized?!?!?!?  How many more times must I type Puerile Pot Punks before I receive the attention I deserve?!?!?!?

Jeff Allen
Jeff Allen

So many schmucks, so little space on the Internet.

Holly Martinez
Holly Martinez

I'm so done with you Denver Westword. You went to hell a while ago. Such a strong voice for Denver and you don't even know what to do with it. "Ten most popular schmucks..." get outta here with this shit and go back to writing for your high school paper. Disappointed...

guest
guest

Yeah, and you're one of them.

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