Top twelve Broncos fans you've probably met

Categories: Sports

broncos.fan.illustration.205x205.jpg
Illustrations: Noah Van Sciver
For a small market located in a flyover state, Denver and its football fans have made a big name for themselves since the Denver Broncos team was born in 1960. From the fans who stormed the field on New Year's Day in 1978 to tear down the goal posts after the team went to its first Super Bowl, to those who have sold out the stadium 43 years in a row, to the ones who are making the long, cold, expensive trek to New York next week for Denver's seventh appearance in the big game, Bronco maniacs rival fans in any state.

And as the team heads toward its February 2 date with the Seattle Seahawks, football fanatics are coming out of the woodwork. You'll see them all -- from those who honestly bleed orange and blue to those who are just pretending. Here's our rundown (illustrated by Noah Van Sciver) of the twelve most common types of Broncos fans.

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The Hater
The Hater puts himself out there as a huge Broncos fan, but he can't stop talking about how badly the team is going to do this Sunday -- and every Sunday. He never gets tired of pointing out how the front office messed up the draft, how the coaches blew up the play-calling, how the Broncos have NO running game, no passing game, no defense and no special teams. In fact, the Hater is so down on the Broncos that you wonder why he even bothers.

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The Optimist
The Optimist always buys the latest jersey and newest hat, and he won't tolerate any talk about the chance that the Broncos could possibly lose this game -- or any other game. Ever. To even mention team weaknesses or problems is sacrilege. Criticize the team, and the Optimist will shoot you down -- because if you harbor even the slightest doubt about the Broncos, then you're just not a real fan.

Continue for more of the twelve Broncos fans you'll meet in Denver.


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44 comments
albertmonson
albertmonson

super lame. stop reading the huffington post please. it's giving you bad ideas.

rpaup41
rpaup41

How about ORANGE CRUSH FAN'S that miss Meck and Lyle Alzado!

Mark Putt
Mark Putt

You can't fly over us. We are a mile high. :)

Krystal MacDonald
Krystal MacDonald

Did he really just call Colorado a fly over state.... Westword you are much better than this tool you have 'writing' for you.

Janet Welch
Janet Welch

Who is this guy that wrote this crap?

bondadprevalece
bondadprevalece

The fact that Denver was so gung-ho at Tebow only exacerbates how bad CU is at football - the rest of the nation was paying attention to him for four years. Colorado, set on ignoring CU's existence, actually believed they discovered Tebow and didn't understand why every other state with a viable college football team wasn't here for him.

mayfworld
mayfworld

I am at least three of these things and probably two others that aren't listed.  Cancel my subscription.

Anthony Zabala
Anthony Zabala

Bitch! Bronco fans are lifers! 33 years of living and I never met a "new" fan.

George
George

.. and of course Irv, Joe, and Sandy Clough absolutely embody "The Hater", while all the younger and more recent talk show hosts and interns are either Conflicted Fans (Easterners Chris Bianchi and Mike Evans are unquestionably the worst and most annoying), or either the Superfan and the Bandwagon Bro (Brandon Spano cannot be imagined without being attired in a chest-tight T-shirt daily), which defines nearly every other daily yakker on Mile High Sports.  And the cosmopolitan dandy ne'er-de-well Whiteley possibly could be either a Conflicted Fan or Secret Fan, but is the most likely Denver sports radio personality to be wearing bright orange Denver Broncos underwear .....

George
George

Listen to Irv and Joe daily, and you get regular callers to the program that epitomize the Bronco archetypes discussed here.  "Bronco Billy", a participant on the show for decades, is the perfect eternal Optimist.  "Mark from Aurora" is the absolute Curmudgeon.  And "Clyde the Glide Quinnaire" is the living embodiment of a Tebow Enthusiast sadly daily.  Most of the descriptions are able to be recognized in the bevy of callers on the program as well as one hour earlier daily in the Whiteley hour with one exception:  No Milfy Mom appears to be part of their audience.

Mary Ann Kil
Mary Ann Kil

"HATER" is not in the dictionary. HATE is. It is a noun. Why are you using it as an intransitive verb?

Lawrence Dunn
Lawrence Dunn

At the risk of putting myself into one of these categories, this will be the Broncos' seventh SB appearance, not the sixth.

Jason Joyce
Jason Joyce

You forgot the "I'm going to move to Colorado and all of a sudden be a Broncos fan" fan.

Justin Rodgers
Justin Rodgers

You forgot the Transplanted Judge Fan, who loves to point out that the football fans from where they are from are better, and would never leave before the game is over. Like fans from the south, even though Nick Saban had to call out fans at Alabama last year, for leaving early!

Theresa Senn Utt
Theresa Senn Utt

I feel like one of the sneeches not wearing a star. Did you get your panda magazine?

Lauren Smith
Lauren Smith

All the broncos fans I know are front runners!

Mike Brinkley
Mike Brinkley

to Hell if it does! You can take the fan out of Green Bay, but you can't take Green Bay out of the fan!

Nicole Brinkley
Nicole Brinkley

no see you live in CO that means you wear Broncos jerseys here- and your packer crap gets the heave ho.... lol

Mike Brinkley
Mike Brinkley

Your best bet - make it a Montee Ball Jersey

Nicole Brinkley
Nicole Brinkley

Mike Brinkley seen the picture and it automatically made me think of you, just wait I'll get you in Bronco gear yet.... and just maybe I'll let you keep a cheesehead on while I take the picture.... lol

Michael Stork C
Michael Stork C

you forgot the Fair Weather Fan. those that spend over $1000 on a season ticket but leave the game early if the Broncos are losing.... to beat traffic.... i'm from the south where Football is a Religion... you leave the stadium when the clock says 00:00, no matter what the score is!

Rodrigo Sánchez
Rodrigo Sánchez

Baaaaha! Totally. Except, I find no conflict unless they play each other. But even then, I'll walk away happy either way :)

Erin Howe
Erin Howe

Rodrigo Sánchez, look, this picture is you!

rodgersjfr
rodgersjfr

Neither is douchebaggery, but you exemplify it.

jonathan.shikes
jonathan.shikes moderator editor

Yeah, that was a major fail on my part, and I'm a Nattering Native, myself. It's been fixed above. Thanks.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

Yup…they did leave your kind out--the most common kind--the one that thinks somehow if you live close enough to Donkville to get taxed for the privilege of seeing Pat Bowlen get rich, you have to like it and wear the gang colors.

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