Todd Lawton back behind bars for masturbating in prison -- really

Categories: Colorado Crimes

jerk.off.hand.gesture.205x205.jpg
We don't mean to shock those of you with tender sensibilities, but masturbation takes place in all kinds of settings -- among them prison, where it's presumably among the most popular ways to pass the time.

Usually, though, former inmates aren't sent back to the hoosgow for stroking behind bars. As such, Todd Lawton appears to be breaking new legal ground. Yet his case doesn't mean all dolphin-flogging in prison is suddenly against the law -- just a certain kind.

According to the U.S. Attorneys Office, communicating via one of the most carefully written news releases of all time, Lawton, 31, wound up at the U.S. penitentiary in Florence after being found guilty of assault on a federal officer and possessing a contraband weapon as a federal inmate.

Clearly, he wasn't happy about this turn of events -- an emotion he's said to have demonstrated in an especially graphic way. His plea agreement maintains that between May 21, 2012 and January 22, 2013 (yes, someone was apparently keeping track), Lawton would wait until a female food-service or medical staffer walked in the vicinity of his cell, then stand on his toilet or some other object so that his man parts were visible to them through his window.

After which he'd...do stuff.

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U.S. Penitentiary Florence.
USP Florence personnel repeatedly ordered Lawton to stop showing off his stroke in this way, but he kept it up, as it were. And this proved to be a terrible decision. He was actually freed from custody this past July 18, but deputies with the U.S. Marshals service subsequently picked him up on indecent exposure charges -- and a judge ordered him to be held without bond until the case was resolved.

Lawton pleaded guilty to a couple of indecent exposure counts in October, and this week, U.S. District Court Judge Philip A. Brimmer sentenced him to serve an additional one year and a day for his crimes. As a bonus, he'll have to register as a sex offender.

"This case involved calculated acts of sexual intimidation aimed at female medical and food service staff at the United States Penitentiary at Florence," says U.S. Attorney John Walsh in a statement. "This case and sentence reflects our commitment to protect Prison staff -- and also other prison inmates -- from sexual abuse of whatever form."

It's also proof that self-love isn't always gratifying.

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

More from our Colorado Crimes archive circa May 2013: "Orin Fryson, high-fashion photog, pleads guilty to indecent exposure and masturbation at DU."


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14 comments
merl.allen
merl.allen topcommenter

Believe it or not in the great "freedom loving" state of Mississippi, it is illegal for inmates to masturbate.

ObamaNazi
ObamaNazi

Spanking is an aerobic exercise @ Manchelle 'the monkey' Obama says 'eat your broccoli'

Amber Rae Schultes
Amber Rae Schultes

Wait... If said events occurred for months prior to his release.... Why was he released anyway?? They couldn't get his ass in court on the new charges before his release??

Sydney Vitae
Sydney Vitae

Purposely attempting to intimidate female members of staff will do that. It's not like the masturbation was the problem here, no matter how funny the headline you give it.

Tracey Nichols
Tracey Nichols

He wins the biggest "jerk" award! LMAO! what a nut. pardon thee expression :p

Sarah Solomon
Sarah Solomon

Bahahahaha serves him right....or left if he's a lefty.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

Contempt of cop, prison style…not particularly surprising.

Jennifer Gonzales
Jennifer Gonzales

Thanks for making it sound more innocent than it really was.

Sydney Vitae
Sydney Vitae

Sounds like it was less about the masturbation and more about the calculated acts of sexual intimidation aimed at female members of staff.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

When Masturbation is Outlawed, only Outlaws will Masturbate.



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