Red kangaroos have three vaginas, and other weird facts about animals' love lives

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Crikey! I have three vaginas!
Birds do it, bees do it -- and the Denver Zoo takes note of when and how, as explained in this week's cover story, "Beauty of the Beasts." Back in 1997, the zoo sent out a racy release touting a Valentine's Day "Animals and Amour" tour. It included facts about animal mating habits and, er, equipment, such as:

A female red kangaroo is born with three vaginas.

Although the zoo hasn't ever issued an update, staffer Brian Aucone offered other intimate details.

The following collection of fun facts is courtesy of the aforementioned 1997 press release and Aucone, who is the zoo's current vice president of animal care.

Denver Zoo
Denver Zoo tapirs Rinny and Benny, snuggling.
An adult male tapir, a large black-and-white animal that looks similar to a pig, has a 24-inch purple penis that coils up like a fire hose to fit in its body cavity.

A male gorilla, on the other hand, has a teeny-tiny penis, no more than three inches long -- even though the animal can weigh over 500 pounds. What's more, a gorilla isn't even a minute man; copulation lasts less than thirty seconds.

If gorillas are the forty-year-old virgins of the animal kingdom, then rhinos are the Stings. The male rhino can do it for an hour, ejaculating every 45 seconds (though one expert says it's more accurate to say that male rhinos experience "many multiple ejaculates").

But first the rhino has to catch the female.

Continue for more weird facts about animals' love lives, including photos.

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The sooner we separate anatomy from "love life" the sooner we can stop being completely hosed by lawmakers.

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