Photos: One hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls

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Big photos below.
Around here, we like to think Colorado is the best state in the U.S.A. But not everyone agrees -- including some people who live here. We recently stumbled across a video from earlier this year entitled "Reasons Why Colorado Sucks Elephant Balls" in which its creator, who says he's lived here for twelve years, rips our fair state to the tune of Green Day's "American Idiot."

We're not exactly objective on this subject, but for every defensible rant (no one likes high suicide rates or mass shootings), there are three or four that are highly exaggerated or make no sense at all. Don't take our word for it, though. Count down his thirteen reasons, represented by screen captures of his photos and spelling/punctuation/grammar-challenged graphics.

See also: Fifty reasons Colorado is the best state in the country, 2013 edition

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Number 13:

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Number 12:

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Continue to keep counting down one hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls.

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701 comments
thezeepeople
thezeepeople

There ARE some horrible drivers here. Allow me to vent:  

1. Get out of the fast/passing lane if you insist on driving 45 on a 65 stretch of road!!! You are a hazard.

2. Do not stop when you are driving onto a highway onramp! You are supposed to speed up and catch up with the flow of traffic, otherwise, you are a major hazard!

And the most annoying of all drivers:

3. You do not legally have to wait before the stop lines at an intersection when making a left turn. It is NOT a law. If you read the DMV booklet, you will find out that it is recommended to enter an intersection cautiously, but you are not required to stop before the line and sit there until all traffic is clear. IT IS PERFECTLY LEGAL TO ENTER AN INTERSECTION ON A GREEN LIGHT AND WAIT FOR A BREAK IN TRAFFIC. You drivers who sit at the line and don't move into the intersection---sometimes even missing a light---are a HAZARD and an ANNOYANCE!  

milonovich
milonovich

This place does fucking suck. People here are douchebag entitled shitheads who suck California dick

Cj Irvin
Cj Irvin

What a fucking idiot. Move already.

Justin A Whirlow
Justin A Whirlow

This guy is obviously a dumbass if he thinks colorado is flat! There is less crime here due to inflation of MARIJUANA sells since it's LEGAL! The traffic is no worse then another state in a high traffic area and to top it off the state spends more money on roads then anything else... Fuckin tard!!

Stacia Rodriquez
Stacia Rodriquez

This guy is crying like a baby back bitch, move and never come back! CO hates you toob

Nathan Mascarenas
Nathan Mascarenas

Ha! You think traffic sucks here, move to any other state with cities the size of Denver or bigger. We have it easy here in comparison! You would lose your mind in CA.

concerendcitizen
concerendcitizen

Probably someone who is depressed, can't get themselves away from the computer/out of the house, is easily aggravated by other people/traffic, and instead of recognizing this in him/herself, is blaming it on the surroundings. 


If you can't find fun things to do in Colorado, there isn't much help for you.

Leigh Vadas
Leigh Vadas

This person needs to know the proper use of your and you're.

Paula Abolafia
Paula Abolafia

great now all the other states are getting jealous

phinniusmcrood
phinniusmcrood

Where the hell did this guy come from? Was he born and raised in Shan-gri-la? Seriously buddy; while there is some bad things about living here, it's one of the best places on Earth! I was born here, grew up here, and live here now and I love it! Most of your points are either made up, or a completely general attribute to any other place. Of course traffic sucks, you yokel! Traffic sucks everywhere, and everywhere you go,,, there is traffic. You seem like a pasty, flabby, lazy person who has nothing to do, but complain. You shouldn't live here, you're too whiney.


Heather Moreno
Heather Moreno

Why is anyone even entertaining this ? This was a waste of 10 minutes.

Sammy River
Sammy River

This person couldn't find happiness if it bit them on the ass.

Robert Vido
Robert Vido

This person is absolutely correct. Please stay away. Signed: Native

Rob Vido
Rob Vido

Controversial? Bull shit! Fuck whoever wrote those things about this beautiful state

ChristinaJoDanford
ChristinaJoDanford

I would agree traffic sucks...  BUT CO is a beautiful state with VARIOUS activities for ALL AGES. I've seen a numerous kinds of people... IDK where you could find only white people!? Weather is better than I have grown up in and drugs are everywhere. 

This person needs to be dropped in the middle of South Dakota where he would really see what winter weather and how many things there are to do... Over privileged and not traveled or hasn't experienced much of the world if the writer really believes these claims to be true. So far from the truth... Hard to understand that someone could have such opinions of such a fantastic location!!

Randall Red Cates
Randall Red Cates

Dude your a dumb fuck lazy ass where's the proof to your claims

Charlie Goldberg
Charlie Goldberg

And thus the entire argument was invalidated by Sonic the Hedgehog. Overwhelming proof that the Sonic fandom is a blight upon planet Earth.

Timothy Walkinshaw
Timothy Walkinshaw

None of that was accurate Chicago has more crime. people are bad drivers, suicidal, road rage everywhere. If you cant find fun your not looking. Colorado is beautiful

Kurt Michael Jensen
Kurt Michael Jensen

He didn't whine about Colorado education systems! I would imagine public schools in HIS home state (probably Alabama) is why he can't spell, use proper grammar, or formulate correct sentence structures. What a simp.

Mike Dunlap
Mike Dunlap

Well then GTFO if you don't like our state!

Murphy Connor
Murphy Connor

I think this guy has mixed up Colorado with utah

Calix T van Lier
Calix T van Lier

I got a good laugh out of this. Obviously this guy has never been to Colorado. Nothing he stated is even close to factual. Pretty funny though.

Dan Morgione
Dan Morgione

Who ever wrote this rant has no idea what they're talking about. The mass shootings and the Broncos are the only things I really agree with. Say what you want about Colorado,the weather is damn' near perfect.

Bengy Martinez
Bengy Martinez

Compiled by a 12yr old maybe? If it's such a terrible and miserable place? Why reside for 12 years here? I'm guessing it has something to do with he still lives under his parents roof and him being an adolescent...

Jough
Jough

So basically he lives in some shi thole like colorado springs and since he is an antisocial loser and doesn't go anywhere he thinks the whole state is like this.  What a tool.

Kim Robinson
Kim Robinson

He's stupid obviously can't spell doesn't watch the weather much we get 300 some days of sunshine. Move leave one less asshole to worry about.

Steven Malizia
Steven Malizia

Why does there being white people make it bad for foreigners?

Kevin Boulas
Kevin Boulas

There's an old joke about a man from the city driving to the country to try to find a better place to live. He pulls up to a local and asks "How are the people here?" The local responds "I don't know, how are they where you're from?" The man says "Oh, they're terrible. The people are rude, obnoxious, stupid, and intolerant." The local says "Well, I think you'll find they're the same here..."

Spaztastic Jazpr
Spaztastic Jazpr

If it suxxx so much why the fuck dud you live here so long? And where the fuck dud you live it's fuckin amazing out here! U my friend suck elephant balls!

Tyler Torrez
Tyler Torrez

Haha yeah its terrible here stay in lovely Texas and California. Please...?

Valkyrja Norse
Valkyrja Norse

Since this is the fourth time I've seen this article, I've decided to unlike this page. You're clearly suffering from lack of...well, many things.

Lisa Bryant
Lisa Bryant

That is why people are flocking here in droves.

Kyle Obergfell
Kyle Obergfell

I am hardly bothered by it. The truth is.. Colorado doesn't do food very well or have a lot of culture. But you can find negative things about any where you go. It doesn't bother me that not everyone loves us.

Celia Raylene
Celia Raylene

Lmao omg have u ever lived in Wyoming?? Im from Denver and came to Wyoming, everything that is said in this stupid video sounds exactly like Wyoming lol.... youre just a closed minded person... obviously u are the one sitting at home on your video games! Smh goodness people!! Lmao

thezeepeople
thezeepeople

@milonovich LOL! Totally true. The only reason people end up in CO is because they had nowhere else to go---they had to come here. But as soon as their lives turn around, they are gone, gone, gone. 

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