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Christina Jahnz Becomes Internet-Famous After Impaling Butt During Texting-Aided Crash

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A photo strategically blurred in 7News coverage. More photos and details below.
These days, a lot of people spend all their time figuring out how they can become Internet-famous. But Elizabeth's Christina Jahnz managed to do so in seconds -- by revealing that her butt had been impaled by a pole when she crashed her car while texting.

There's been a lot of exposure for Jahnz over the last few hours, in more ways than one. Details, photos, a video and even a meme below.

See also: Texting While Driving: A Passionate Defense of the New Ban

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Christina Jahnz in a photo from her Facebook page.
According to Jahnz, who spoke with 9News, she dropped off her daughter's saxophone at Elizabeth Middle School this past Wednesday morning, then sent a voice text to a friend as she drove away at around twenty miles per hour. But when looking at the phone to make sure the message had translated properly, she crashed her truck, with a guardrail pole bursting into the passenger compartment -- and through her buttocks.

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Jahnz's truck post-crash, as seen in a 9News image.
Firefighters had to saw off the pole on either side of her in order to extract her from the vehicle, Jahnz revealed. She was then rushed to nearby Parker Adventist Hospital, where the pole was removed and she was sewn back together. After forty stitches, she tells the station, she lost count.

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A photo of Christina Jahnz being interviewed by 9News as shared on the Parker Adventist Hospital Facebook page.
A heavily pixilated photo of Jahnz with the pole still in her body is included in 9News coverage, but the image obtained by 7News is larger and clearer. Here's a larger look at the cropped version seen above.

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If your first thought upon hearing about the incident was, "This story is a natural for Buzzfeed," well, you were right:

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A screen capture from Buzzfeed's story about Jahnz.
From there, plenty of other outlets picked up the tale, as it were, with the British Daily Star giving it a U.K. tabloid-friendly spin via the headline "GRAPHIC CONTENT: Woman impaled through her BUM after texting while driving."

In addition, Jahnz inspired the following meme:

Actually, laughter may hurt Jahnz at this point. She was hospitalized for four days after the accident, and although she's expected to make a complete recovery, she'll need quite a bit of time to heal and is currently using a walker to get around.

Nonetheless, she deserves credit for setting aside modesty and privacy concerns in order to pass along the lesson she's learned. She puts it simply: "Don't text and drive."

Here's the 9News report:

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.


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33 comments
xgabrielchastainx
xgabrielchastainx

Texting while driving, smoking while driving, playing with your hair while driving...anything but driving while driving should result in an instant prison term without the possibility of a day in court. People with guns are expected to keep them safe and use them in a safe manner, and a car is a more dangerous thing than a gun. If you think you are really in control of 2 tons of metal at 60mph, you are sorely mistaken. Not crashing and killing someone relies on there being enough time between your car and the thing you're going to hit. Because you can't stop when YOU want to. You can only stop EVENTUALLY, when the laws of physics decide to allow it. And at 60mph, that will happen 240 feet down the road from where you applied the brakes.

Kim Salazar
Kim Salazar

I highly doubt that was a "quick glance" or a voice text. Her dumb ass was texting while driving. Smh.

Cassie Muldrow
Cassie Muldrow

Seriously Westword, I love your local event news but I hate this click bait naked girl bs. This could be a serious article, rather than a "sensation" reality tv style blog post. This type of reporting is exhausting and everywhere. I'm not unfollowing, but you kind of made me want to.

Amanda Leonard
Amanda Leonard

And these comments are why people say "murica" instead of America these days. People make mistakes, unfortunately, she had to pay a bigger price than most. A very strong message to not text and drive. She was driving relatively slowly and nearly lost her life. Imagine what would happen to you folks on the highway. ..

Jason Suess
Jason Suess

Why is this woman getting publicity? She's a moron who could have killed someone!!

Steven M Palmer
Steven M Palmer

You might as well show it as I'm sure the doctors sure as hell took a few phone pics. "You gotta see this shit..." ;)

Robert D'Amato
Robert D'Amato

I'm sure she's had bigger poles in her butt before XD

Jim Walker
Jim Walker

Poley crap! Maybe she was a pole dancer...*groan* sorry folks, butt I love a pun...

Justin Jones
Justin Jones

It seems really big. How could a pole that big fit in the butt? I need the unedited photo to really be discouraged from text and driving. LOL

Juan Macias
Juan Macias

Yup that should be the new penalty for texting while driving....a pole up your ass.

Matt Pyles
Matt Pyles

Probably not the first pole put in her ass!

Monika Frederiksen
Monika Frederiksen

I would've never seen this if it wasn't for you \U0001f60a Thank you for the very important news \U0001f606\U0001f44d\U0001f62d it must be so embarrassing for her \U0001f633

Cole Whitaker
Cole Whitaker

This as the Denver Post pushes out articles about safety and cannabis driving. SMH.

Flavio Daniel Aguilar
Flavio Daniel Aguilar

Thats not where that goes! Freaking 50 Shades of Grey is gonna get chicks killed!

Rockpile Ranter
Rockpile Ranter

Yeah but who wants to be known as the Popsicle lady?

xgabrielchastainx
xgabrielchastainx

Plus, retards who are always on their phones are annoying. Get a life.


xgabrielchastainx
xgabrielchastainx

Saying "Murica" isn't a mistake. It's the entire world laughing at patriotic American rednecks on the internet and mimicking the way the Southern "Purblicans" speak.

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