Dustin Guinn steals, crashes police car -- but saves family from disaster

Dustin Guinn. Additional photos and more below.
Dustin Guinn may be our latest Schmuck of the Week nominee. But looked at a certain way, he saved a Colorado Springs couple from disaster, albeit by crashing a police car into their fence.

And by disaster, we mean the movie Waterworld.

See also: Marquise Bridgewater on the run after allegedly trying to steal a $400K house

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Update: Marquise Bridgewater, accused $400K house stealer, busted but at it again?

One of many Marquise Bridgewater images on Photobucket. Additional pics and more below.
Update: Our most recent Schmuck of the Week has been busted -- and while she's currently free on bond, she could wind up behind bars again soon. Marquise Bridgewater is accused of using false deeds to "buy" a $400,000 house for $10. 9News is now reporting that Bridgewater surrendered to Broomfield police on the warrant in her name out of Denver last week and subsequently bonded out -- and the next day, she allegedly filed another false document signing over possession of the house-she-didn't-own to a woman in California. That could mean more charges and another arrest warrant.

As for the first one, here's how she earned it, as described in our previous Schmuck of the Week nomination.

See also: Ralph Barnhardt's prize for schmucky SWAT team standoff: a 240-year sentence

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Ralph Barnhardt's prize for schmucky SWAT team standoff: a 240-year sentence

Ralph Barnhardt. More photos below.
Plenty of people who achieve Schmuck of the Week status are rewarded with jail time for their efforts. But we're pretty sure the stretch Ralph Barnhardt received for his qualifying actions -- a 240 year sentence -- sets a new record.

Here's what he did to earn it.

See also: Bradley Oglethorpe, sex offender, busted after returning to crime scene: a women's bathroom

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Neil Cleary, DIA employee, on why he surfed for child porn at work: "Getting old sucks"

Neil Cleary. See an arrest affidavit and more below.
Here at Schmuck of the Week headquarters, we've heard plenty of excuses for bad behavior. But few of them are as weird, weak and creepy as the one allegedly offered by Neil Cleary, a staffer at Denver International Airport, for surfing for child pornography while on the job: "Getting old sucks."

So does a lot of this story, as you'll see below.

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Bradley Oglethorpe, sex offender, busted after returning to crime scene: a women's bathroom

Bradley Oglethorpe. Additional photos and more below.
"Creep. Perv. Douchebag."

That's how we started a post earlier this year about the search for a man who allegedly took photos of two little girls under bathroom stalls at an area grocery store. And now, following the arrest of Bradley Oglethorpe for the crime, we can add one more descriptor: schmuck. Why? Because he was busted after being caught in the same bathroom.

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Matthew Headley, Schmuck of the Week, robs bank wearing pajama pants

Matthew Headley in action. More photos below.
For obvious reasons, albeit totally unfair ones, residents of Colorado border states such as Kansas increasingly view folks from here as slackers -- and Matthew Headley isn't helping.

Headley, who's from Canon City, has now been sentenced for sticking up a Kansas bank while clad in pajama pants, as if he'd just rolled out of bed and thought, "Got nothin' better to do today. Maybe I'll rob somebody...."

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Jeremy and Jamie Ownbey in wife-swapping, punch-throwing Real Housewives of the DPD?

Jamie Ownbey. More photos and a video below.
Could the off-duty lives of Denver police officers and their significant others make for a spicy reality show? That's the talk at the department after news broke about an investigation into a brawl involving two Denver cops, Jeremy Ownbey and Steven Sloan, as well as their wives, Jamie and Stephanie. Wags are reportedly referring to the episode as The Real Housewives of the DPD.

What started this schmucky dust-up? Well, wife-swapping may have had something to do with it.

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Jamie Carrillo and Angelo Arellano allegedly bring toddler on shoplifting trip, police chase

A photo of Jamie Carrillo from her Facebook page. More pics below.
The caption on a photo of Jamie Carrillo and Angelo Arellano found on her Facebook page notes that the couple have been an item for more thirteen years -- and one way to remain close is to do lots of things together.

Then again, maybe it's not the best idea to include getting into a car chase witih police on your things-to-share list -- especially if there's a toddler in the car.

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Nazi suburbanites f*ck off: See teen schmucks busted for racist graffiti

More photos below.
We actually love certain kinds of graffiti around here. Witness our November posts featuring a graffiti-scene vet's picks for the best Denver street art.

But unimaginatively scrawled Swastikas and assorted Nazi-centric hate messages belong in the Schmuck of the Week category -- and if Douglas County law enforcers are right, so do Jordan Rockwell and Andrew Whattam.

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Brandon Heginger allegedly fits bathroom peeping into busy night of burglary, sex assault

Brandon Heginger. More photos below.
Last month, when we first wrote about Brandon Heginger, we didn't name him Schmuck of the Week even though his alleged acts, including burglary and sex assault, made him richly qualified for this honor.

Fortunately, though, we've gotten a second chance. After being busted for the initial offenses, Heginger has now been accused of peeping at a woman in a CU-Boulder bathroom that he was caught on camera leaving the very same night.

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