Marquise Bridgewater on the run after allegedly trying to steal a $400K house

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Marquise Bridgewater in a pic shared on Photobucket. More images plus original documents below.
Ten dollars for a $400,000 house? Sounds like the deal of the century -- or one of the bolder fraud attempts in recent memory.

The Denver District Attorney's Office backs the latter description. Prosecutors there have now charged 24-year-old Schmuck of the Week nominee Marquise Bridgewater with perpetrating an elaborate scam, which turned on documents supposedly signed by a woman nearly two weeks after she died.

See also: Ralph Barnhardt's prize for schmucky SWAT team standoff: a 240-year sentence

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Ralph Barnhardt's prize for schmucky SWAT team standoff: a 240-year sentence

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Ralph Barnhardt. More photos below.
Plenty of people who achieve Schmuck of the Week status are rewarded with jail time for their efforts. But we're pretty sure the stretch Ralph Barnhardt received for his qualifying actions -- a 240 year sentence -- sets a new record.

Here's what he did to earn it.

See also: Bradley Oglethorpe, sex offender, busted after returning to crime scene: a women's bathroom

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Neil Cleary, DIA employee, on why he surfed for child porn at work: "Getting old sucks"

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Neil Cleary. See an arrest affidavit and more below.
Here at Schmuck of the Week headquarters, we've heard plenty of excuses for bad behavior. But few of them are as weird, weak and creepy as the one allegedly offered by Neil Cleary, a staffer at Denver International Airport, for surfing for child pornography while on the job: "Getting old sucks."

So does a lot of this story, as you'll see below.

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Bradley Oglethorpe, sex offender, busted after returning to crime scene: a women's bathroom

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Bradley Oglethorpe. Additional photos and more below.
"Creep. Perv. Douchebag."

That's how we started a post earlier this year about the search for a man who allegedly took photos of two little girls under bathroom stalls at an area grocery store. And now, following the arrest of Bradley Oglethorpe for the crime, we can add one more descriptor: schmuck. Why? Because he was busted after being caught in the same bathroom.

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Matthew Headley, Schmuck of the Week, robs bank wearing pajama pants

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Matthew Headley in action. More photos below.
For obvious reasons, albeit totally unfair ones, residents of Colorado border states such as Kansas increasingly view folks from here as slackers -- and Matthew Headley isn't helping.

Headley, who's from Canon City, has now been sentenced for sticking up a Kansas bank while clad in pajama pants, as if he'd just rolled out of bed and thought, "Got nothin' better to do today. Maybe I'll rob somebody...."

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Jeremy and Jamie Ownbey in wife-swapping, punch-throwing Real Housewives of the DPD?

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Jamie Ownbey. More photos and a video below.
Could the off-duty lives of Denver police officers and their significant others make for a spicy reality show? That's the talk at the department after news broke about an investigation into a brawl involving two Denver cops, Jeremy Ownbey and Steven Sloan, as well as their wives, Jamie and Stephanie. Wags are reportedly referring to the episode as The Real Housewives of the DPD.

What started this schmucky dust-up? Well, wife-swapping may have had something to do with it.

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Jamie Carrillo and Angelo Arellano allegedly bring toddler on shoplifting trip, police chase

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A photo of Jamie Carrillo from her Facebook page. More pics below.
The caption on a photo of Jamie Carrillo and Angelo Arellano found on her Facebook page notes that the couple have been an item for more thirteen years -- and one way to remain close is to do lots of things together.

Then again, maybe it's not the best idea to include getting into a car chase witih police on your things-to-share list -- especially if there's a toddler in the car.

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Nazi suburbanites f*ck off: See teen schmucks busted for racist graffiti

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More photos below.
We actually love certain kinds of graffiti around here. Witness our November posts featuring a graffiti-scene vet's picks for the best Denver street art.

But unimaginatively scrawled Swastikas and assorted Nazi-centric hate messages belong in the Schmuck of the Week category -- and if Douglas County law enforcers are right, so do Jordan Rockwell and Andrew Whattam.

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Brandon Heginger allegedly fits bathroom peeping into busy night of burglary, sex assault

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Brandon Heginger. More photos below.
Last month, when we first wrote about Brandon Heginger, we didn't name him Schmuck of the Week even though his alleged acts, including burglary and sex assault, made him richly qualified for this honor.

Fortunately, though, we've gotten a second chance. After being busted for the initial offenses, Heginger has now been accused of peeping at a woman in a CU-Boulder bathroom that he was caught on camera leaving the very same night.

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Stephen "Gaterwolf" Ketcher, ex-pro wrestler, accused of wrestling with underage girl

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Stephen "Gaterwolf" Ketcher in action during the '80s. See more photos and videos below.
Back in the day, Stephen "Gatorwolf" Ketcher was a professional wrestler with a national reputation and bouts against the likes of Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

Now, however, he's facing allegations that he grappled sexually with a fifteen-year-old girl. Photos, videos and more below.

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