Dick Cheney lawsuit: Are these Secret Service agents shmucks or are they just doing their job?

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Dick Cheney.
What's more important? The President and Vice President of the United Stated or the principles they are there to uphold?

It's a lovely, abstract question with an answer that may prove to be more difficult to answer in the real world we are living in.

And does the fact that Dick Cheney is involved change your answer?

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Mike Coffman, repeat Shmuck, wants to make it harder for Spanish speakers to vote

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Mike Coffman.
U.S. Representative Mike Coffman is no stranger to voter suppression. In fact, the 6th District Republican lawmaker has a long history of tinkering with elections.

His latest campaign would make it more difficult for people who don't speak English well to vote across the country. In Colorado, that mostly means Spanish speakers -- Spanish speakers who are U.S. citizens, by the way.

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William Loomis, our shmuck of the week, would like you to get a job

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Not to kick -- or club -- a man while he's down, but William Loomis, a Boulder man who we wrote about earlier this week, sounds like a shmuck. According to a police report, a "preppy" looking Loomis was walking near the Boulder Theater last Sunday when a homeless man asked him for some change.

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Jeffrey Campos, ex-head of Denver's Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, gets our nod for shmuck

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Jeffrey Campos.
The documents have been sealed, and neither the defendant nor the alleged victim are talking, but Jeffrey Campos, the now-former head of Denver's Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, certainly hasn't done his organization any favors. Campos was arrested July 14 and charged Thursday with assault in a case that involved some sort of incident with real estate broker Jennifer Reins, a Chamber member.

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Colorado Rockies are bums -- but if they trade Ubaldo Jimenez, they are shmucks

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Ubaldo Jimenez.
We cheered when the Colorado Rockies re-signed Tulo and Cargo to huge deals before the season; we were patient as the two stars struggled... and struggled... and struggled some more; we kept our chins up as manager Jim Tracy reshuffled the lineup more times than Dexter Fowler has struck out; and we welled up a bit as Todd Helton experienced a resurgent first half. (Hall of Fame! Hall of Fame!)

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Landon Christopher Jensen, our shmuck, makes police "work for it"

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Landon Jensen.
The best way to stay out of prison is not to commit crimes. It's a simple concept, but one that may have eluded Landon Christopher Jensen, a 23-year-old Boulder man who managed to briefly escape from a police car Wednesday, according to the Boulder Daily Camera. Jensen, who apparently has a very long rap sheet that includes auto theft, driving under the influence, assault and other charges, had been arrested again and was being taken to jail when he managed to get his arms free, reach through the backseat window to open the door and hightail it to a strip mall.

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Abigail Suber, our shmuck: Pay me or I'll call immigration on you

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Getting into a car accident, even a minor fender bender, sucks. There's the repairs, the insurance, the overall annoyance and frustration that can last for months. Getting into an accident with someone who doesn't have insurance is even worse -- and there are plenty of uninsured drivers out there. And not all of them are illegal immigrants.

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12 dog-stabbing incidents in recent months -- and at least a dozen shmucks

Diamond.
Earlier this week, Matthew Weatherspoon was charged with stabbing a five-month-old bulldog puppy named Diamond after the dog nipped him. He is then accused of tossing the dog out of his apartment, where it was later discovered and taken to an animal hospital. Unconscionable? Yes. But sadly, Weatherspoon is not alone.

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Frontier pilot booting quadriplegic John Morris (& choice colleagues) earn Shmuck dishonors

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Denver's homegrown airline, Frontier, was once a local darling.

Its local ties, funny animals and scrappy attitude gave people the alternative they needed a decade ago to United Airlines, which dominated the gates at Denver International Airport for a long time and pissed off just about everyone at one time or another with their notoriously bad service.

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Ernesto Castanuela & Kimberly Nunez learn it's shmucky to break into cars during funerals

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Castanuela.
Breaking into cars during festivals or concerts is nothing new: petty thieves know they have a nice window of time to smash-and-grab and a lot of vehicles to choose from. But during church services? And funerals? That's pretty low.

On Saturday, Greeley police arrested two people, Ernesto J. Castanuela, thirty, of Platteville, and Kimberly Nunez, 31, of Greeley, and accused them of breaking into a car during a Greeley Grays baseball game. Police, who had been investigating a rash of car break-ins, said they had been watching the two people.

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