Call of Duty 3: Lomon Sar racks up shmuck points after threatening to blow up Best Buy

If Lomon Sar is a, uh, veteran of the Call of Duty video games, then he's used to blowing things up -- at least in his digital fantasy land. But police say Somon, 31, forgot to leave his fantasy world behind on Tuesday when he threatened to blow up a Best Buy in Aurora because the store wouldn't sell him a version of the game, Modern Warfare 3 at a midnight release even though he'd pre-purchased it.

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Hunters who can't tell an elk from a moose are shmucks

Don't fucking shoot!
Earlier this week, the Colorado Parks and Wildlife department warned elk hunters not to shoot moose. It seems like that would be a fairly obvious statement, but apparently, some elk hunters -- the ones who are loading and firing big guns in the wild -- can't tell the difference between the two, and the department has had to prosecute the poachers.

"If there's any question -- any question at all -- don't shoot," the department's Ron Velarde told 7News. "If you're not absolutely, positively certain of your target, do not pull that trigger." ("You morons," he probably added silently.)

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Tim Tebow lovers or haters: Who are the bigger shmucks?

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Tim Tebow.
It seems like everyone has something to say about Tim Tebow (including us), whether it comes to his work ethic, his pious nature, his throwing motion, his jersey sales, his clean-livin' persona, his underwear or his potential as an actor. And sometimes, frankly, it's hard to know which side to be on in the debate. Tebow lovers are so smarmy and obnoxious, while Tebow haters are so angry and bitter. Frankly, we don't want to join either one of those groups.

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Raymond Davis's bagel fever gets ex-CIA contractor in trouble again: We spy a Shmuck

You don't want to mess with former CIA contractor Raymond Davis -- not if you're operating a motor vehicle, anyway. The 37-year-old Davis was arrested Saturday and later charged with felony assault after police say he beat up a guy who stole his parking spot at an Einstein Bros. Bagels in Highlands Ranch. The guy, fifty-year-old Jeffrey Maes, allegedly suffered a fracture to one of his vertebrae (and a bloodied face).

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Michelle Manzanares, cool mom, gives booze & pot to middle schoolers, then cools it in jail

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Big pic below.
Most moms want to be cool. But being the "cool mom" is almost never a good idea -- especially when your teenage daughter gets video of you offering her vodka and pot.

In fact, there is a special place for cool moms like this: jail.

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Hooters undercover bust finds Colorado Springs cops acting like a couple of boobs (and shmucks)

So, a couple of guys walk into a Hooters in Colorado Springs, sit down and order some beers, and then start following one of the young, scantily-clad waitresses with their eyes. Sounds like a typical night at Hooters, right? Except the two guys were undercover cops who were, uh, "working." In fact, they were there, according to reports, on a sting and eventually charged the young waitress, eighteen-year-old Illysa Medina, with serving alcohol to a patron who was visibly intoxicated.

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Clown robbers: Try disguising yourselves as Shmucks of the Week

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Look, we know that real-life robbers are often lovers of the cinema. That's why they dress in fanciful and elaborate costumes, à la Point Break (ex-Presidents), The Town (gruesome nuns), 3000 Miles to Graceland (Elvises) and, most recently, 30 Minutes or Less (apes). But now it seems that no self-respecting (or self-loathing) armed robber -- whether he targets a bank, a convenience store, a gas station, or a shop -- can go without.

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Imeme Nouis & Angela Martin: Leaving kids in hot cars or handcuffing them = Shmuck

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It seems like bad dads have a way of ending up as shmucks on a regular basis. But moms have their fair share of problems, too. Just ask the two who were cited this week for making the rest of the moms out there look like saints.

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Dick Cheney lawsuit: Are these Secret Service agents shmucks or are they just doing their job?

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Dick Cheney.
What's more important? The President and Vice President of the United Stated or the principles they are there to uphold?

It's a lovely, abstract question with an answer that may prove to be more difficult to answer in the real world we are living in.

And does the fact that Dick Cheney is involved change your answer?

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Mike Coffman, repeat Shmuck, wants to make it harder for Spanish speakers to vote

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Mike Coffman.
U.S. Representative Mike Coffman is no stranger to voter suppression. In fact, the 6th District Republican lawmaker has a long history of tinkering with elections.

His latest campaign would make it more difficult for people who don't speak English well to vote across the country. In Colorado, that mostly means Spanish speakers -- Spanish speakers who are U.S. citizens, by the way.

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