Sarah Palin's mail coming to Denver thanks to the USPS, but thankfully not Sarah Palin

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Sarah Palin
The United States Postal Service announced last week that Denver will be the new hub for mail going to and from Alaska -- meaning we get to see Sarah Palin's mail before she does. News of this cost-saving measure prompted a stern letter from Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski, who doesn't think Denver can't handle that kind of responsibility: "I am extremely concerned to learn that there does not appear to be any transition or training plan for transferring this knowledge and experience to the Denver operation," she said.

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Dennis Dean Sieving, our Shmuck of the Week, is driving us crazy

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Driving in Denver gets more difficult every day.

If it's not the construction and repair, then it's the badly synchronized lights or rush-hour traffic. If it's not the sneaky radar vans, then it's the real trouble-makers who weave in and out of lanes at twice the speed of everyone else.

So why would anyone want to make it worse?

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They're back: Three shmucky characters return to the headlines

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Carrie McCandless
Yesterday was a big day for some of Colorado's most embarrassing characters.

Two of Westword's former Shmuck of the Week award winners, Carrie McCandless and Brett Reese, were back in the news, along with Ann Crall, a member of our 2010 Hall of Shame.

Stay tuned to the Latest Word today to learn our latest Shmuck of the Week. In the meantime, here's a recap of what went down.

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To protect and swerve: a drag-racing Aurora cop

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Greased Lightnin'!
Police officers get to drive fast when the sirens are wailing. But they are supposed to slow down once they change out of their uniforms and get into their own personal cars. Aren't they?

On Thursday, 9News reported that both the Aurora Police Department and the Douglas County Sheriff's Office are investigating Aurora cop Jason Pray who has been accused of street racing and endangering the welfare of two children.

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Denver voters: The 62 percent of you who didn't send in ballots are Shmucks of the Week

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Election days usually take some patience.

Voters have to find their polling stations, ask the boss for an hour off, stand in line and argue with the elderly volunteers who can't find their name or address on the voting rolls. Bad weather makes things even more difficult, as does car trouble, health trouble and bad hair days.

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Thaddeus Rule: Army recruiter charged for being all the Shmuck he could be

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Once again, the thin air over Denver has created some, um, baggage for an airline passenger -- something we've had plenty of experience with. This time, it was an Army recruiting officer from Montana named Thaddeus Rule, who found himself on the wrong side of the law and on the outside of his plane, looking in.

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Christopher Condiotti: Slapping a four-year-old will make you a shmuck

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Condiotti.
Earlier this week, 23-year-old Boulder resident and apparent muscle-shirt enthusiast Christopher Condiotti was arrested and charged with child abuse after shoppers at King Soopers told police that he'd slapped a four-year-old boy and cursed him.

According to reports, the boy got lost in the store, and Condiotti and King Soopers employees searched for him. After they found him, at least six witnesses told police that Condiotti hit the boy.

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The Las Vegas Lady Liberty and five other ways the Postal Service could stamp itself as a shmuck

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What does it say about the U.S.A. in 2011 that our Postal Service accidentally used the replica Statue of Liberty in Las Vegas rather than the real thing as a model for its stamp honoring Lady Liberty's 125th anniversary? For one thing, it says we Americans love our landmarks so much that we like to create fake versions of them.

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Katy Perry tried to blow up Troy Tulowitzki's season with her shmucky fireworks

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Tulo's nightmare.
Troy Tulowitzki isn't known for his Aprils. Or rather, he is known for his Aprils. He's known for sucking in them.

Over the past few years, the Colorado Rockies' $134 million Gold Glove-winning All-Star shortstop has looked like a Little Leaguer through the first month of the season -- a mystery that was getting more and more frustrating.

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The GOP members of the House Judiciary Committee will go down in history -- as shmucks

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Bob Gardner
It was a foregone conclusion from the beginning.

Earlier this year, state representative Mark Ferrandino and state senator Pat Steadman introduced a bill that would have allowed civil unions in Colorado and given gay couples the same right to make a legal commitment as heterosexual couples. Even if it passed through the Democrat-controlled Senate, everyone knew it would be assigned to a "kill committee" in the Republican-controlled House. In the meantime, there was debate, there were impassioned pleas on both sides, there was one of the most hilarious presenters in the history of the Colorado legislature (Anus! Anus! Anus!).

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