Denver News Blog

A Flickr photo.

Get proud at the Keystone terrain park.

​The season is upon us, and while the old fuddy-duddies in the resort's main offices are finding more and more ways to stifle our fun on the hill these days (how many signs telling us what we can't do on the mountain do you need, Keystone?), there remains plenty of opportunity for on-mountain debauchery.

So, what the hell: A guide to seven-deadly- sinning your way through ski season:

1. Lust
Because there's more than one way to stay warm on a gondola.

I must admit that I've never partaken in gondola hanky-panky, but I've witnessed it enough to know that the Outback Gondola at Keystone is a great place to get freaky on the hill. The entire ride takes about 15 minutes, and most of the time you are suspended high above the Window Glades.

Of course, people who do ride in that area of Keystone are privy to your actions, so remember there's a possibility of people watching even if there's nobody in the car in front of or behind you.

Runner up goes to Town Gondola in Telluride, which also runs into the evening -- though remember there's a midway loading station.

An honorable mention goes to the old Vista Bahn chair at Vail, another infamous place of lift-chair debauchery -- so much so that they took the protective windshield (The Bubble) off of the chairs three seasons ago. Aside from allowing for worry-free pot smoking, the "bubble chair" or "Rasta bahn" also provided decent visual shelter for on-chair blowjays, at least according to my college roommate, who got a thumbs-up from a ski patroller who happened to be looking up at just the right time.

2. Gluttony
Where to gorge yourself after a day of riding.

Many people don't care what is put in front of them after finishing a day of skiing and riding, so long as it's edible and there's plenty of it. That said, you want your money's worth.

If you're an I-70-resorter who finds they stop in Silverthorne for a cheap burger before diving in traffic, next time take the extra two minutes and head up to Chimayo Burrito. The steak burrito with grilled onions should be a staple of your snowboard-season diet. It's suspected there is crack in the recipe, because you'll find yourself fiending for one the minute you drive through the Eisenhower Tunnel.

After shredding the gnar on Vail mountain, head over to get some shredded pork at Moe's Original Barbecue. Sure, it's a chain barbecue joint -- but their ribs, paired with whisky-ginger ale, are a great way to get rid of the lingering soreness in your legs.

I'm a sucker for a simple, yet well-made deli sandwich. The Butcher's Block, a stone's throw from the gondola in Aspen, serves up Boar's Head-meat sandwiches as well as a variety of sides and soups. Local's tip: order your sandwich on a French roll; you get more sandwich for the same price.

Anthony Prince. Occupation: Moron.

​3. Greed
Ski masks are good for more than keeping your face warm.

We could talk about how greedy some people are for powder here (I have no friends on a powder day), but nothing proves the sin of greed on the mountain better than robbing a bank and escaping on Vail mountain.

Now, their plan may have not been that well thought out -- but let's face it, escaping from a bank robbery by lift chair and then snowboarding off to (what you hope is) freedom is ridiculously cool.

4. Sloth
Rocky Mountain Even Higher

Sure, you could be out at Breckenridge busting huge airs over a gap in the park or lapping a few high-speed groomer runs ... or you could just get stoned. The famous smoke shacks at Breckenridge are both the pride of locals and the disdain of local ski patrol.

For years (read: before the internet) the shacks were a word-of-mouth tradition and right of passage for stoner locals and Midwestern-college kids who scored some overpriced herb outside of Rasta Pastae. Unlike other mountains, where the shacks are usually lean-tos on the side of a rock face, the pothead engineers of Breck have created small mansions that match the real estate at the base of the hill - including the awe-inspiring "Smoke Mansion."

In recent years, ski patrol has taken a more active approach to dealing with the smoke shacks by blasting them off the side of the hill with explosives, but there's still there's a number of smoker safe-havens on the hill. Be sure and refer back to Gluttony after accomplishing this sin.