White People with Dreads: A field guide

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Still in the early stages of development, this adorably naive WPD has not yet discovered that normal hats don't fit over dreads.

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There is an exception to every rule, though, and this classic hippie-WPD has found an enormous fedora to accommodate his outsized hairstyle. As humans, we can draw an important life-lesson from this WPD: A little determination goes a long way.

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Unlike garden-variety homo sapiens, WPDs are generally herbivorous. To supplement a dearth of the nutrients meat provides, WPDs require a large amount of "the kind ghanj" for sustenance.

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An ultra-rare example of the ginger-WPD sub-phylum, this specimen signals his disregard for "the man," possibly because "the man" is always making him operate the meat-slicer at Deli Zone, and he's told him a thousand times that he'd rather work the register because his hair is always getting caught in that thing, bro.


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