Ten dolls whose glassy, unblinking eyes will haunt your dreams

"Wouldn't it be fun, if you were a doll like me?"

​Some people are scared of Barbie and her seemingly anti-feminist position in pop culture. And those people are just plain terrified of Bratz dolls and their big-eyed whorishness. But some dolls... some dolls aren't disturbing because of your social views, or for reasons having to do with the ways you might not want your daughters to look. Some dolls? Are just freaking scary.

​10. My Twinn
So the concept here is that your kid gets a doll that looks identical to (read: sort of like) her. It's a neat concept, admittedly, which girls liked a lot -- so much so that the once Denver-based company did great business in the late '90s. That all started to decline in 2002, and got to the point that Westword named My Twinn "Denver's Best Scandal" of 2004 when the factory abruptly closed its doors and stopped answering its phones. But the concept of the doll itself is still a little weird -- sort of inviting multiple personality disorder, isn't it? And really, is it any less creepy with that extra "n"?


​9. So Truly Real
I don't care if the thing "breathes"...if you have trouble telling the difference between a real baby and a doll? Then there's something wrong with either dolls or babies. Or you.


​8. Beautiful Crissy
Crissy dolls did a lot of things over the years, including talking later on. But this has to be the strangest feature: Her hair grows when you push on her stomach and pull her hair at the same time, and then gets a "cut" when you turn the dial on her back. I'm sure girls liked it (for all of about five minutes, anyway -- and how many girls do you think actually took scissors to Crissy's hair, thinking that they could just pull her hair again, and it'd grow?), but the idea of pulling hair right out of a girl's head is just odd.


7. Little Mommy
You've probably heard this doll address you if you've walked down the toy aisles of Target recently -- or, you might have heard of its controversy if you watch FOX News. In brief, the hubbub is all about a tiny part of the goo-goo, ga-ga that the baby says sounds something like "Islam is the Light." Why? No idea. The scary part of this doll is supposed to be that it doesn't need you to pull a string to make it talk (one more step toward SkyNet...), but what's even more concerning is that there are people scanning doll baby talk in order to discern if there's anything in there that sounds like something that pisses them off.


6. Screaming Half-Baby
This sounds more like horse-porn than the laughing baby that I can only assume it's supposed to be. And no, "Screaming Half-Baby" isn't this thing's real name, but seeing as how it's a Korean knock-off toy, it actually could be.