Presents that unwrap themselves! Midnight Martini's Winter Burlescapades

Photo courtesy Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret

​You're just too old for sitting on Santa's lap at the mall.

People stare.

But that only-at-the-holidays feeling is still out there ... now with tassels! You've got three chances left to catch Midnight Martini's Winter Burlescapades, playing Thursdays through the end of December at Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret, 16th Street Mall at Arapahoe Street.

Photo courtesy Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret

​Doors open at 7 p.m., and guests will be ogling the Clocktower Clockettes' tribute to winter, including burlesque dancing, acrobatics, circus acts, belly dancing, and aerial fabric and trapeze performance. For this year's "tastefully risque" extravaganza, high-flying burlesque aerialist Midnight Martini (Kim Townsend when offstage) took a new tack, holding open auditions to bring in a mix of dancers and routines. The ladies swore on their feather boas to keep these numbers exclusive to the Winter Burlescapades so you bump 'n grind groupies won't have to worry about repeats. The show on December 23 mixes it up with an appearance by Chicava HoneyChild of New York City.

Newbies take heart, unlike that night at the strip club, this is safe to bring up in polite company. True, burlesque incorporates artful undressing as an integral part of the show, but Townsend posits that it won't make you cringe to have your out-of-town cousins sitting beside you: "We want everyone to get that warm, fuzzy holiday feeling along with the thrill of burlesque," she says. "It's definitely for adults, but it's not awkward to bring your parents. We prove that sexy isn't scary.

"Denver has been very embracing and open-minded, so burlesque is really thriving here." We'll toast to that, pasties and all!