Hickenlooper's inaugural walk to get odd, yet strangely familiar

​At 8:30 this morning at the City and County Building downtown, John Hickenlooper will officially resign as mayor of the City of Denver, leaving him unemployed for the few minutes it will take him to walk over to the State Capitol to be sworn in as governor. Normally, that short jog would be no big deal, but there's just one problem: Due to current Parks and Recreation projects, Civic Center Park, which would be the most logical route, is currently fenced off, requiring the Hick to get creative with his travel plans. Due to security concerns, those plans have been double-top-secret so far -- but because we at Westword pull a shitload of clout in this fucking town, we were able to get the scoop in advance. Page down for the official route.

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Please forgive us for this shitty joke.