Pedal to awkwardness: Tickets go on sale for Bike Denver's Bike Prom 2011

Grope me, Total Ghost.

​Ah, prom, that special time when you rent an ill-fitting tuxedo in a bizarre color and awkwardly dance until you get your date drunk enough on a smuggled 750ml of blue-flavored fortified wine to let you grope her in the back of your parents' Cadillac. If you're anything like me and didn't go in high school because you dropped out (in your face, guidance counselor, I'm a fucking success!), it's one of your life's many small regrets -- luckily, your ship may have returned on at least that one, minus the Cadillac but hopefully still with the groping and the fortified wine. That's right, Bike Prom 2011: Bike to the Future is slated for late May.

It'll be Denver's first bike prom since August of '08, after which the loosely-knit consortium of hipsters that had been organizing it for a couple of years apparently fell apart and stopped doing it (causing, for the last three years, more minor regret for anyone who missed out). This year, Bike Denver, a much more formally organized bike advocacy group, is taking the reigns for the first time.

It goes down May 20 at Cassleman's Bar and Venue, and will feature prom photos, dancing and awesomely silly outfits and hair, plus the music of headliner Total Ghost -- who, you can easily see from the photo above, is already prepared to get all Michael J. Fox up in this shit. And when I say Michael J. Fox, I mean pre-Parkinson's Michael J. Fox. Also, they are from Germany.

Tickets will cost you a cool Andrew Jackson at the door, but right now you can get them at early-bird prices for $10 ($12.50 non-member) -- and what's more radical than savings?

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