The rapture didn't happen on Saturday, but a documentary about it got filmed
Despite the predictions of doomsayer Harold Camping, the Lord apparently did not see fit to visit destruction upon the earth Saturday, which passed somewhat unremarkably except that it was a particularly beautiful day. (Personally, I went to an apocalypse barbecue and ate enough meat to create a small apocalypse some hours later -- apoocalypse? Forgive me that joke). If there had been a rapture taking place, though, the epicenter of it would doubtless have either been Colorado Springs or the U2 show at Invesco Field, two places that sport more messiah than anywhere else in the world. And filmmaker Ivan Suvanjieff was in both places, making history that never materialized, but history nonetheless.
There was none of this.
Suvanjieff has a bit of an apocalypse preoccupation (preoccupocalypse?) himself, though his tends toward refuting such predictions -- earlier this year, he finished work on 2012: The True Mayan Prophesy, which turns a cynical eye toward the predictions of that ilk that have been circulating for the last year or so. Right around the time he was finishing that, the filmmaker and PeaceJam co-founder had a moment of divine inspiration when he realized that, with the U2 concert on Saturday, both Jesus and Bono were scheduled to be in Colorado at the same time -- causing him to wonder: which has the bigger messiah complex, and also which one would win at arm-wrestling. So Saturday, he and co-writer/producer Brett Engle hit the streets of Colorado Springs and then Invesco Field, and today he reports that it went about as well as could be expected, no apocalypse notwithstanding,
"I have a great short doc in the can," he says. "The Springs has to be one of the weirdest places. The rapture believers -- as of 8 a.m. Saturday -- were hardly present. I think they were so embarrassed by not being Raptured... like where was the big New Zealand earthquake scheduled for that day? We did not find street corner preachers, and all the doomsday signs and bench ads, we heard they taken down on Friday. The Springs seems to have 3 churches per block but there were no people at them or in them. We went to as many churches as we could. We even went to Focus on the Family. In their bookstore I asked for information about Rapture. They said they can't talk about it, but here's a number you can call and they'll tell you. The number is 800-A-Family. I called and the message was short and there was no one there to answer the phone.
"The 27 interviews we managed to get in Springs are great, funny, bitter, snotty, ridiculous and very entertaining. Very cool.
"We zipped back up to Denver, had lunch/dinner at Taqueria Patzcuaro (an important detail) and arrived at Invesco at 4:50. I kept record of the times we did each interview, so in the doc we'll run the time each was done, perhaps with a tick-tock blip underneath to build up suspense for the "rapture." After paying 25 bucks for parking, we made it to the party and happiness-drenched world of U2 fans in the parking lot tailgating. We were doing an interview that started at 5:47 and when we hit 6, I shouted to him and all around, I shouted 'Everyone hold onto your hats, cause here comes Rapture.' Everyone laughed. U2 fans know they weren't being raptured, because they had tickets to their spiritual leader's revival tent."
So there you have it. Suvanjieff doesn't know when the tentatively titled Jesus vs. Bono will come out, but let's hope it's before December 21, 2012, because that's when the world is definitely going to end.