Bastille Day: Five reasons to love the French

eiffel tower.jpg
Flickr photo by whologwhy
With DSK (Dominique Strauss-Kahn) and his did-he-didn't-he-rape-a-New-York-hotel-maid story all over both sides of the Atlantic, it's not a great time to be French. The guy once seen as a top contender in 2012 presidential election pool has now become a poster-child for what Americans think is wrong with the French -- arrogant, womanizing and philandering. Even before the days of the Freedom Fry, Americans bashing on the French has become a tradition.

But here are enough French jokes in the world. So, on Bastille Day, their version of the 4th of July, here are five reasons to love the French:

1. French President Nicolas Sarkozy, supposedly drunk at a G8 summit press conference, was a YouTube hit: While the Sarkozy-is-drunk angle was only taken by Belgian television, it was enough for the whole Internet to see this charming clip, including Sarkozy's own family, who found it "hilarious," according to the Economist. Whether the French Prez, who says he doesn't drink (which means he doesn't drink spirits, but still drinks wine) was actually drunk or not is up for debate, but let us clap for the man who can show up to a press conference with essentially nothing to say.

2. Carla Bruni: Oh Mrs. First Lady, while Midnight in Paris suggests that you might not be the best actress in the world, you sure were beautiful. You also supposedly make Michelle Obama really uncomfortable by asking her if her sex life, like yours with the French Prez, has ever made the Obamas late for official state business like yours has. Oh, but did I mention you are beautiful? Like really, ridiculously good looking -- but you might have already known that since you were one of the highest paid models in the world in the 1990s. Of course, you didn't really need the money because you are also an heiress. You are an heiress who speaks three languages and who used to date Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton. And have you ever Google Imaged your name? Assuming you do it with Safe Search off, tons of nude pictures come up, like this one (NSFW) with Kate Moss.

3. The French Diet: French food is seen as fatty and filled with carbs. Foie Gras, pastries and, yes, it's all made with pure butter. French food is so revered, it has been put on UNESCO's list of "Intangible Cultural Heritages" -- along with other indelible things like falconry. But what Americans love even more than French food is obsessing over why French women are so damn skinny even though they eat all that stuff. In fact, you could read a New York Times bestseller on it.

4. The all-inclusive resort: For the fat-ass that just wants to sit on the beach and can't be bothered to even find his or her own food, the French created the all-inclusive resort. Club Med began in 1950 by Belgian Gerard Blitz who saw it as a socialist experiment to "cross social boundaries through activities and sports," according to the official Club Med site. And of course their private beaches are in the European-style, which means topless. A socialist plot to make people fat or a way to see some titty? You decide.

5. The Eiffel Tower. Where, other than in France, would the national symbol be a huge phallus? Oh wait, everyone is into tall towers, aren't they?

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2 comments
Nicole
Nicole

Merci, nous les Français on  vous aime aussi, même si on ne vous supporte pas plus que vous ne nous supportez!Ici c'est la fête nationale, il y a des feux d'artifice sur Paris. Vous reprendrez bien un peu de Champagne?Vive la France!

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