The winner of the Colorado Scottish Fest's "Bonnie Knees" contest had a secret up his kilt

Rod Stewart should always be played on the bagpipes.

​We were warned about the Bonnie Knees Contest: there was sure to be bribery, kilted men and somewhat bawdy behaviour, Colorado Scottish Festival director John Thornton told us. Without fail, the contest was indeed all of those things.

"It's not really about who's got the best knees," explained contest judge Paulene Staggs, who, along with fellow judges Carlene Campbell and Lois Wilson, was making the calls -- and as such, the contestants came armed with their best bribes. But the winner had something unexpected up his sleeve, or rather up his kilt.

Make it rain.

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"They try and bribe us with everything," judge Carlene Campbell said before the contest. "They bring us candy, Scotch, cookies..." Lloyd [pictured above] chose to bribe the judges with money. "Make it rain," he declared as he sprinkled one dollar bills into the air. "Make it rain." Campbell made sure to clarify that the judges may keep/share the Scotch and cookies, but the money is donated to the St. Andrew's Society.

Woot woot.

​Master of ceremonies Larry kept the crowd entertained during the judge's deliberation by dancing a rather unorthodox jig on the contestant's stand. Then he let Lloyd tell a joke, which I don't remember (sorry Lloyd). Perhaps that's because at the same time Lloyd was telling his joke, someone was telling this joke behind me: "What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?" [Pause for dramatic effect.] "One less drunk Irishman." Oh, man. Ireland just got booya'd.