The DAM's pottery wheel instructor makes me feel like a kid again -- but not in a good way

Thanks, but I'll take it from here.

​Marvelous Mud at the Denver Art Museum is a truly awesome set of exhibits, and it's something that every adult -- and kid -- can enjoy because of both its scope and its appeal to all ages. In fact, the DAM typically does a fantastic job of catering to kids.

Maybe too good a job.

Now, I realize that the four pottery wheels that the museum has set up just past the main entry of the Hamilton building are primarily designed for the under-fifteen set to get a chance to play with clay, but I certainly wasn't the only adult who wanted to give it a go. In fact, there were at least five adults in front of me in line when my two kids and I showed up on First Free Saturday, just minutes after the doors opened at 10 a.m.

But I'm not sure I needed to have my hand literally held by the young, micro-managing pottery instructor, who not only talked to me like a child - "c'mon, make a butterfly shape with your hands" -- but essentially shaped my pot for me, barely letting me get my hands on the damn thing itself. Step off, lady, I wanted to say. I can do this.

But no such luck. And when I was done, she said, in a patronizing, sing-song voice, "So, are you ready to give someone else a chance now?"

Yes m'am. I'd like to give me a chance! Now, can I go to the bathroom, please?

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