Ten topical Halloween costumes to avoid this year

Categories: Holidays

Just go as a beer.
If only because when you look back at the photos ten years from now, you may slap your palm to your face and think, "Did I really dress as the physical representation of WikiLeaks?!" And how many people did you see dressed as Zach Galifianakis's "Alan" from The Hangover during the fall of 2009? The answer, whatever the number, is too many. Because like an old episode of Murphy Brown, topical humor doesn't age well. Yes, that was a Murphy Brown reference. See?

Here are the ten topical costumes to avoid this Halloween. You're better off just busting out that tired old Darth Vader or slutty-nurse-who's-also-bloody-for-some-reason outfit.

10. A Bedbug
Why It Won't Work:
Arguably the grossest costume on this list, especially if you go with some realistic, shiny, polyurethane-slathered insect costume.

9. An Internet Meme
Why It Won't Work:
If you go as "Troll Face" guy or Good Guy Greg or whomever, only your dorky friends from Reddit (and secretly 4chan) are going to know what you are.

8. Casey Anthony
Why It Won't Work:
Because you'll just look like a gas station clerk. Seriously, she's the most hated woman among Nancy Grace fans, but how many of them will be at your party?

7. Michelle Bachmann Eyes
Why It Won't Work:
The eyes alone -- how could you get those done? You could go as the Newsweek magazine cover, but then you're going as a magazine.

6. Rick Santorum
Why It Won't Work:
Going as the last-in-the-polls GOP candidate for president is never a good idea, Republican or not. And besides, you're just an old white guy in a suit. You may as well go as a banker.

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"Lysteria"? I think the writer of this column dress up as an unemployed, mediocre journalist, but then they'd just look like an unemployed, mediocre journalist.






This morning was one of the saddest days in Denver history.  I live 3 blocks from Lincoln Park, the site of the sit in by“Occupy Wall Street” .  I had to get upearly for a doctor’s appointment and had started my morning routine of coffeeand cereal.  The radio was on and theannouncer said that the Denver Police were in the middle of displacing theprotestors at Lincoln Park. He announced that the police actionstarted at 3am.


I decided to leave a half hour early for my appointment tosee what was going on only 3 blocks from my home.  At 6:30am, the first thing I saw was ahelicopter overhead.  Without too muchspeculation I presume it was a police helicopter because it never ceased fromcircling the event.  The second site waspublic work dump trucks blocking Broadway around 13th street.  My third observation is that a small group ofprotestors  were surrounded byapproximately 50 SWAT team members in full apparel.  If you have never scene a fully dressed SWATteam member it is a site to see and is quite intimidating.  The fourth thing I observed were State PoliceMen.  Their job apparently was to teardown the make shift city and throw everything in the dump truck.

Lastly, other uniforms indicated that there were severalDenver Police Department members involved also.


Now I have to admit that I was not impressed with the Occupy Wall Streetgroup’s efforts.  After some weeks havepassed, I notice they did not have a grasp on the issues, had no platform towork from and did not seem to have a spokesperson.  However, I did admire their spunk and theirdedication to their cause.


I am appalled that our city and state government of Colorado would wastethousands of dollars to displace its own citizens.


I had passed through the area several times and felt thatthe place, that had been chosen by the protestors, was perfect.  It gave them exposure but at the same timedid not interfere with traffic.  No bodybut drug dealers use the park so I’m wondering if our officials were afraid ofinconveniencing our drug trafficking in down town Denver!


I feel that Denverhas taken a step backward.  Since the2008 Democratic Convention I have heard nothing but praise for our City.  Unfortunately after this event we willdigress back the cow town status that we have had for so many years.  Thanks to a plan by local government and lawenforcement to disrupt a harmless protest by concerned citizens


I hope that the disease of stupidity and government gridlockhas not spilled over from our Federal elected officials to our local ones.


Jaime Lewis

Nick Lucchesi
Nick Lucchesi

Yikes. It's been corrected. Have a great weekend!

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