Happy New Year: Mi Pueblo's crazy Ken-doll confection takes the cake

Categories: Sex

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BEEFCAKE!
The Mi Pueblo Market at 125 Knox Court in the Barnum neighborhood might be the best grocery store in the entire world. On any given day, the clean and brightly decorated market is warmly bumping a reggaeton Rihanna remix as shoppers peruse cascading bins of fresh avocados, bananas and tomatillos. Horchata sells by the jug, queso only comes in one variety (awesomely melty) and the butcher's counter has a delicious array of marbled, unbleached meat that looks nothing like what can be found at the average chain supermarket.

But the bakery is the crown jewel of this one-stop food emporium, and that's where I found the the most amazing cake in the entire world: a rectangular dream of white and blue, graced with a Ken doll look-a-like lounging in a Speedo.

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Uh, huh huh. Hey, Baby.
Like a glistening piece of plastic man candy, this beefcake had abs like D'Angelo, a hair helmet from heaven and was posed with twinkle toes and an equally twinkling grin. He rested on his side, criss-crossing a river of what I assumed to be champagne, nestled between the celebratory stemware, a popped bottle and of course, like any good fancy cake, frosting roses.

When I went back later in the day to inquire about the cake, it was gone. Obviously, I wasn't the only one eying this decadent dessert. But not to worry -- Mi Pueblo Market's panaderia has an assortment of fresh-baked cakes in it's fingerprint-free display case on a daily basis. Plus, the single-slice Tres Leches offerings are priced deliciously low.

And if worse comes to worse, I'll bet they'd make you anew version of the man-candy cake, done up however you'd like it.

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