Cruiser bikes rule: they will save the world and make your butt look great

Cruisers.jpg
Jim Wills
Editor's note: Cruiser bikes have become a fixture in Denver, especially on Wednesday nights when weekly Cruiser Rides take over the streets. In fact, it's hard to imagine a time when there wasn't one on every corner. But the culture that comes with cruisers can be polarizing, and Westword contributors Britt Chester and Josiah Hesse each represent the opposite ends of that spectrum. See Hesse's take in "Cruiser bikes suck: They attract Philistines and ruin cycling for the rest of us"; here's Chester's:

While some people bemoan the cruiser bike trend and the nostalgia that comes with it, these overly comfortable velocipedes have completely transformed the way people look at riding a bicycle. They are the best thing to hit Denver since microbreweries.

The obvious health advantages are more than enough reason to get on one, but cruisers have also awakened so many sleeping potential bike riders that some of the biggest cities in the nation have determined it necessary to allocated public funding for the creation of efficient and affordable public bicycle trading systems like B-Cycle.

See Also

--Denver Crusiers: Disco Inferno edition
--Reader: B-Cycle will go to your neighborhood -- if you work on it

Sure, rolling around hilly Denver on a fifty-pound chunk of metal doesn't make much sense as a daily commuting option, but but the health trade off is worth much more than the value of the bike. After all, two-thirds of Americans are either overweight or obese, and a bike ride can burn almost six hundred calories per hour, even if its just a spin around the park. That means cruisers serve a viable purpose in world of bicycles.

And cruiser bikes have influenced something much bigger than just a few hipsters on Capital Hill: enter the Denver Cruiser rides. The DCR attracts thousands of burgeoning bicycle enthusiasts every Wednesday night during the summer. This event draws on the popularity of cruiser bikes, promoting the clunky vintage cruisers with themed nights ranging from "Back in Black" to "America! Fuck Yea!"

This draws on the simple fact that people enjoy being together, being outside, and having fun. Cruiser bikes, whether we diehard cyclists love it or not, have put more cheeks on seats than any hipster influence ever will.

Cruiser bikes also reduce pollution. In Portland, Oregon, a study showed that the trail network, which promotes bicycling, saved the city $115 million in healthcare costs. Buy a bike and save on healthcare. Your bike will pay for itself in less than a year.

The argument of impracticality is absolutely absurd. As a cyclist myself, I hear from all my friends on $2,000 road bikes, $700 fixed-gear bikes, and $100 Craigslist pick-ups, that cruisers are simply pointless. They aren't. The fact that more people are riding them is winning the argument itself, but more so, it's one less car. Riding whatever bike you own to a bar also means you are going to get home without a DUI.

And here's one last fact to sleep on before you go put some air in the tires of that old clunker rusting outside of your garage: Riding a bike for thirty minutes per day will make your butt look better, make you look cool, and get you laid.

There is no reason to not own a bike, and if you happen to choose the cruiser bike as your means of getting around, then more power to you.




Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
9 comments
Guest
Guest

only if you are a complete moron. see comment above

NerdHerd
NerdHerd

You can get a DUI on a bicycle but you are not required to take any sobriety tests.  If you don't take a sobriety test you won't lose your license and the police will have negligible evidence to prove you guilty.

Nuriel11
Nuriel11

I can tell you one thing. As someone who has been bicycle commuting since the late 80's, cruiser bikes are a lot less irksome than fixed gear bicycles. At least, when a cruiser gets into a difficult situation, it can stop quickly. That's because cruiser bikes were designed to be ridden on streets. Fixies were designed to be ridden on velodromes without things like pot holes, fire hydrants, and taxis. I don't ride either, because I think bicycles should be ridden not seen.

missthang
missthang

many MANY of us DO NOT DRINK, and go just for the fun of it. i repeat, MANY.

Dwahlburg
Dwahlburg

You can still get a DUI when riding a bike as it is considered a vehicle.

Skidav73
Skidav73

The police monitor and ticket the Denver Cruiser Ride. I've had friends get tickets for open containers or running a red light/not stopping at a stop sign. The DCR also educates those on the ride to follow rules of the road.

Chad
Chad

Riding a bike to a bar is only a benefit if you can find a taxi with a bike rack to drive you home. Operating ANY machine while under the influence is dangerous and illegal.

Minimalizedesign
Minimalizedesign

The health advantages are negligible when compared with the detrimental drunk riding behavior that is the norm on the regular Wednesday night rides. It's maddening to be around and watch, and dangerous if you're caught on the road when this pack takes over the streets throwing all traffic rules and safety to the curb alongside their Solo drinking cups. It's a mess that makes me want to rip my hair out as a fellow rider. Denver Police should be monitoring and ticketing this group with the same vigilance they give to fixed gear riders who don't put a foot down when they stop.      

Now Trending

Denver Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...