Eleven memorable lines from the Laugh Track Comedy Festival

Categories: Comedy

Ashley Barnhill
The Laugh Track Comedy Festival had a strong debut last night at the Bug Theatre, featuring eleven local and out-of-state comics that slaughtered the audience with a blend of hyper self-loathing and irreverent politics.

The festival continues through Saturday nigh, delivering a seemingly endless lazy susan of short films and stand-up comedy. Here's a quick sample of last night's zingers to wet your appetite for the upcoming weekend.

See Also:

- Evan Nix's top picks for the Laugh Track Comedy Festival
- Kevin O'Brien on the These Things Matter podcast and Mile High Sci Fi

11. Chris Charpentier

As the emcee of the night, Charpentier got the crowd squirming in their seats with the hilariously cringe worthy story that began with the line "One of my retarded brothers had a son a while ago." Apparently enjoying the awkward laughter from bumping his face into his uncle's crotch, Charpentier's story turns the crowd silent when he explained how the boy decided to kiss his uncle's crotch. Explaining to his friends that he didn't want to be a disciplinarian uncle, preferring the cool, easy going uncle, the friend returned with the question "so you want to be the kind of uncle who lets his nephew kiss his penis?"

Josiah M Hesse
Erik Anker
10. Erik Anker

Hailing from St. Louis, Anker's deadpan delivery of his one-liners would consistently take the crowd a moment or two to absorb: and then, bang!

Example A. "I'd like to open a burger joint called Aspergers."

Example B. "I have something in common with blind people: I also don't give a shit about magic."

Josiah M Hesse
Abbey Jordan
9. Abbey Jordan

Strutting onto the stage in M.I.A. style sideways cap and fanny pack, Jordan killed with her closing joke about a friend who was considering deflowering a young, virginal man. "She said she didn't want to do it because she was on her period," Jordan said. "And I was like 'that's the perfect time! You could stop him halfway through and start screaming "Oh my god! What's all this blood! You did something wrong! Turn on the lights. What is all this!?"'"

Location Info


Oriental Theater

4335 W. 44th Ave., Denver, CO

Category: Music

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