Fifty Shades of Grey CD? Here are five better tunes for kinky inspiration
Ever since E.L. James' first rectal-extraction, the book Fifty Shades of Grey, hit the market like a drunken Rip Torn ramming his car into a tractor-trailer, the merchandise spin-off has been explosive -- or catastrophic, depending on your point of view. Stockings, garters, underwear, pajamas, robes, kitchen and bath décor: all offshoots of the book's mild BDSM themes.
Oh, goody! More Fifty Shades stuff!
And now a collection of fifteen classical music pieces that the author swears she was "inspired by" while she wrote the Fifty Shades trilogy will hit stores tomorrow, September 11.
The CD, predictably titled Fifty Shades of Grey--The Classical Album, features Chopin's Prelude #4 in E minor, Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto #2 - Adagio Sostenuto and the ever-popular Bach: Adagio from Concerto #3 -- all solid choices if you'd like to party like it's 1899.
I'd rather keep my kink music in the modern era. So here's a list of my top five tunes for playtime inspiration. Play these down from five to one for an intense scene -- you know, the opposite of a scene in Fifty Shades.
5. "#1 Crush," Garbage
This song from Garbage's debut album, Vow, (and a hot remix single on the William Shakespeare's Romeo +Juliet soundtrack) is a great kinky warm-up song that helps me get in my proper head space as a submissive. In other words, it makes me feel focused on being pathetic, miserable, obsessive and ready for a righteous -- and consensual -- beat-down. I especially like this song playing in the background whilst I play a rousing game of "dodge the riding crop" as my dominant has me cuffed to a modified sawhorse whipping bench. By the end of song I let 'em "break my will," and now I'm ready for the heavier stuff.
4. "Stripped," Depeche Mode
This single is from the album Black Celebration -- and really, the whole album is a fine choice to play during kink-time, since you really can't deny the deliciousness of a Depeche Mode song in a dungeon space -- or a pretty-pink princess bedroom. I like this particular song to follow my warm-up because it's got a steady beat and mesmerizing lyrics, and my dominant can even flog me in time with the music. It's also slow and soft enough so that I can still clearly hear my d-type calling me filthy names and trampling on my self-esteem like an evil robot smashing an elegant flower bed.
3. "(Can't You) Trip Like I Do," The Crystal Method & Filter
This song is from the debut album Vegas (and also found on the soundtrack for Spawn) and I prefer it for the most intense parts of my scenes -- it's fast, hard, trippy and fucked up, just the way I like my dominants. I love hearing this while I'm un-cuffed, hurled onto the floor and things are perpetrated upon my person that I'm probably not allowed to talk about here. I'll give you a hint, though: I'll need a shower and a nice nap afterwards.