My fake Facebook engagement to a gay guy
|An actual text from my aunt. And for the record, "smack" at the end of the text just means "I love you so much I could smack you."|
I guess I didn't realize how serious Facebook is for most of us. I mean, it is all subjective, including when I want it to be "real" or not. Facebook is real when I want to post about my band's next show, or when I want people to read my articles. Facebook is real when I post stories about how insane I think the Republican Party is. But on my own whims, Facebook isn't real when I decide to get engaged? How does that work? Apparently, it doesn't. Because as good as Facebook is at deciding that I might need to go back to college or buy a new pair of shoes via its "tailored" advertising, it isn't so good at knowing when I'm joking.
But Facebook does trump real life, since It doesn't care if you want to be married to another person whose biologically-assigned gender might be the same as yours. Unlike Colorado, Facebook isn't stuck in the dark ages. If you're a man and a woman who think boning each other is the most disgusting thing that could ever happen between two people, you can still be "married" -- Facebook knows it isn't up to anyone but the couple to decide.
So here's to same-sex unions and staged engagements. In a modern world, it is all about how you play the game.