Say "goodbye" to Instagram -- and six other Internet goals for 2013

LazyRiverForever.jpg
See that empty tube? That's you leaving the Internet -- and no one caring.
1. And finally, saying "goodbye" to any website, period
Social networking is kinda like the Lazy River at a water park: Once you stop contributing to the constant stream of information that your friends/family/coworkers/virtual strangers are currently wading in, someone else just takes your place. The river of human babble never stops -- it just keeps getting added to by whomever is peeing, er, posting in it.

So on that note, can't we just stop being dramatic for a moment and do something without telling our willing audience first? It's sort of like threatening to jump before actually jumping -- listen, we're all in this shit show called the Internet together and you know what? If you delete your Facebook/Twitter/Instagram account, no one cares. In fact, they won't even notice.

Not even your closest friends and family -- because they are too busy uploading pictures of babies and dogs to notice that you have stopped uploading pictures of babies and dogs.



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Corrections

Bree, I love love love your writing, but I think you misinterpreted the Nicole Brown Simpson meme that is posted on the first page. 

This meme is in response to what Bob Costas said during a Monday Night Football broadcast in response to the Jovan Belcher murder-suicide. What Costas said was that Belcher's girlfriend was dead because Belcher had access to guns. I think he might have actually said that she'd definitely be alive if he had not had a gun. This meme is saying that Costas is wrong because OJ did not need access to a gun to kill Nicole and so it makes perfect sense - despite being pretty annoying. 

If you don't replace this meme soon, someone is going to point out that you failed to google the facts surrounding a meme in a post wherein you chide people for not googling facts of a meme.

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