Apocalypse how: Your guide to handicapping the end of the world

Categories: Lists

Method of destruction: Asteroid/comet impact
How that's going to work: NASA comes on the TV with some bad news: they've spotted an asteroid (or comet) the size of Cincinnati headed our way and when it hits it's going to vaporize everything within 500 miles and throw the other half into eternal darkness, thanks to all the shit that gets thrown into the atmosphere. We're all going to wish we had voted for higher NASA budgets and try to convince Bruce Willis to go up in the shuttle one last time to stop this horrible thing. All to no avail, because Bruce Willis is an actor, and we didn't properly fund NASA. Damn it, Washington, why didn't you give NASA the resources it needed to stop this damn asteroid? Why?
What it's going to look like:

Why that probably won't happen: Actually, it doesn't look good. Think about it -- in the probably prophetic film Deep Impact, there was a black president with impressive oratorical skills . We have a black president with impressive oratorical skills. Scared yet?
Odds: 10 to 1

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