Ten effective ways to fake an orgasm (NSFW)
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2. Fanta-seize
One of the most effective ways to fake an orgasm is to spend the duration of your mattress-mashing with someone who isn't doing it for you by thinking about someone who does do it for you -- and then mimick those sensational fantasy feelings and reactions accordingly. Or as I refer to it, "masturbate with someone else." Think about Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson, Justin Bieber, or if you are me, The Kurgen from the first Highlander movie or any of the bad guys from any of the Crow movies. Hell, if you luck out using this strategy, you might actually have a real orgasm, which would be pretty fucking beautiful.
1. Say it when you don't spray it
Ladies and gentlemen, never underestimate the power of suggestion, or the power for some people to believe any sort of bullshit that they are told. Research suggests that the majority of people can't tell a fake climax from a real one (OkCupid is proof enough of that), so telling your partner that you just came, liberally peppered with compliments to them about how great it was, is usually enough to convince them that they are sexy sex gods, and you are a grateful supplicant breathing heavily at the altar of their super-skills.
Yes, this is pretty sad when you really think about it, and no one should have to fake an orgasm, but chances are the people you are faking orgasms with aren't worth the time to teach them how to do it right. So screw the guilt, and pony up the cab fare, so you can at least spend the rest of your morning/afternoon/evening doing something fun -- like jerking off and having an actual orgasm.
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