Five things Prince Harry should do in Denver

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Prince Harry will get along just fine in Denver -- he has skills.
God save the Queen and her adorable, stilted royal wave; Prince Charles gets a few brownie points for sorta making an honest woman outta Camilla; poor Prince William got his mother's pretty face but his father's rapid receding hairline, and Princess Kate has a baby bump that the Brits are going batshit over. But his Royal Highness, Henry Charles Albert David, the Prince of Wales, best known as Prince Harry, has everything: looks, charm, a ribald sense of humor, an honorable military career and, judging by a few photos taken of him in Las Vegas last year, a royally nice bum.

Last week it was announced that Prince Harry will be visiting Colorado during his trip to the United States May 9-15, so to help his travels, we have a list of five things Harry should do while he's in Denver.

See also:
- Photos: Prince Harry memes offer naked truth about royal's upcoming Colorado visit?
- Photo: Denver Post caption error even cracks up Prince Charles!
- SAME Cafe's Brad Birky on Queen Elizabeth, Led Zeppelin and the woman who wanted one egg

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And Harry already has proper Denver attire...
5. Have a few drinks at Meadowlark
Meadowlark, at 2701 Larimer Street, is one of Denver's finest hipster hangouts, and if there's one place where Prince Harry should go to get his tankards of ale on, it would be here -- for the simple fact that of all the bars in Denver (and most other places) this is sure to be one pub where no one in the place will give a fat, royal fuck about Prince Harry being there. Approximately one-third of the other drinkers won't know who the generation-gapping hell he is, one-third won't give a shit, and the last third will be top-tier snotty hipsters with senses of entitlement that make Britain's royal family look like a pack of meaching slummers. And the bartenders are so indifferent that his Royal Highness will be lucky if he gets a pint within fifteen minutes of ordering.

On the off-chance that Harry's princely ass makes another appearance, Meadowlark has a free photo booth that posts to the bar's website, and it's a safe bet that his won't be the first -- or the last -- set of nudey cheeks to be snapped at Meadowlark.

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4. Dinner at Elway's
Royal appetites seem to be better documented the further back in history you go; it's unlikely that Prince Harry was raised on lavish banquet food like roast capons and flagons of wine, given how health-conscious and active Prince Charles is. Chances are good that Harry is used to fresh ingredients, organic veggies and what-not (not counting the Army food), so that's exactly why he should have dinner (or high tea) at Elway's during his stay in Denver. The Cherry Creek location would be the perfect place for him to get a slice of bougie Denverites while digging into lamb chop fondue (Americans will put cheese sauce on anything), tuck into the tuna tartare (Brits get way better seafood because they live on a huge island) or try his hand at the DIY S'mores dessert (these wanker Americans like some barmy shit). And he might spot Elway himself, Colorado's equivalent of royalty.

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3. Walk around the 16th Street Mall
If Prince Harry wants a wholesome, typical Denver pedestrian experience, there is no better way to get that than walking along the 16th Street Mall. He can have a frozen yogurt, buy some commemorative shotglasses with bears on them, and smoke a bowl with those fake rastas who hang out by every Starbucks. He can peek in the windows at H&M and wonder who shops there and why (the same things locals wonder, actually). Then he can get yelled at by the guy who runs the gyro cart for standing too close and not buying anything, get slammed into and cussed at by skateboarders being chased by mall security guards -- and probably cursed at by them as well -- and have the distinct privilege of getting mobbed every other step by pushy mall panhandlers, the cleverest of which will certainly ask him, "Please, sir, can I have some more?"

Continue reading for more suggestions.

Location Info

Venue

Map

Meadowlark

2701 Larimer St., Denver, CO

Category: Music

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33 comments
Sean Gronbeck
Sean Gronbeck

You two are retarded. I bet whatever he does it involves staying away from the likes of people like you.

Darlene  January
Darlene January

come visit me since I'm a long distant relative of 3 Queens of England... would like to know about my heritage. era 800-1300

Ben Overzet
Ben Overzet

1st) Hit up a McDonalds. Liiiiiiiiitttttllee different from fish and chips across the pond. LOL Your gonna love those nuggets. 2) Head on over the Colorado souvenir store on 16th & Welton and pick up a thick sweater that says "Colorado" on it. It's cold out here in Colorado! LITTLE different from England. 3) A must is to go to a place called "Fun City" in Littleton. Putt putt, bowling, laser tag. Need I say more? They don't have stuff like this in the "UK." Haha. 4) Here's the deal if you a big roller like Prince Harry you're gonna wanna get a little crazy every now and then, which is why I would recommend going to a little place called "Jump Street." Okay, I know this is a little outlandish for someone from the Queen's land, but I think Prince Harry is going to be BOUNCING off the walls when he's done with this one! 5) Here's my last suggestion, and it's a winner. If you really wanna come to Denver to see what we are all about then you better get your royalty on over to Elvis Cinemas (we have 2!). The best thing about this place is that it's got all the movies that you might have missed a few months ago and they're still in theaters. Bonus- flicks are only 3 bucks. Harry is gonna love this. Popcorn is cheap too. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MORE I CAN RECOMMEND!!!

Glenn Harrison
Glenn Harrison

Casa Bonita like all them tourist type folk do. Hyuk!

Brittany Russell
Brittany Russell

Drink at Colorado Vodkaco, tour Stranahans Colorado Whiskey, check out the great local beers...

Nick Gossert
Nick Gossert

Get found stabbed to death in a hotel room, while the Royal Guards try to cover up all evidence of the crying, naked, twelve year old boy who killed him in self defense.

Douglas Evans
Douglas Evans

he should look at my boot on his ass....screw this elite piece of trash!

Matt Orrin
Matt Orrin

karaoke at El Charrito and see a Rockies game

Ben Sargent
Ben Sargent

Too bad he'll miss "Queen Victoria's Floating Garden of Secrets and Natural Wonders" (at Su Teatro May 5th). Not only is it a steampunk show, which he'd love, there is a character in it sorta-kinda similar to him (the Queen's half-brother who sports about in an airship and styles himself as a pirate). See http://luminousthread.com/

jrtafoya
jrtafoya

He should definitely see a Roller Derby bout as Denver is home to two of the top ranked teams in the World!!!

Tony Mullen
Tony Mullen

Shotgun Willies. Yea, Definitely go to Shotgun Willies.

Jordan Brown
Jordan Brown

Smoke a joint at Red Rocks for a Joe Walsh concert,Go snowboarding up in Steamboat, try some Great Divide IPA's and Denver Pale Ale, hike through Evergreen or Conifer and go cliff jumping somewhere

Alex Kilzer
Alex Kilzer

Hit the mountain and smoke out in a cheeba hut.

Ted Dorr
Ted Dorr

Eat at Double D's Sourdough Pizza since he loves Sourdough and pizza :o)

Ben Beeby
Ben Beeby

leave before the gold diggers get him.

Lou Farris
Lou Farris

He should come by the house, and brew a batch of beer with me. Then I'd send him a case after bottling day.

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