Five things NOT to do at Denver PrideFest

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Denver PrideFest 2013 is this weekend, and there will be music, food, drink, live entertainment and a big-ass parade on Sunday morning. the people-watching opportunities alone are worth the trip downtown and the parking hassles.

But every PrideFest has its perils and pitfalls, and in order not to be named and shamed on Monday morning's Facebook feed, here are five things NOT to do at Denver PrideFest. (This list also applies to every other Pride event, everywhere else, so commit it to your "brain-bow" file.)

See also:
- Denver PrideFest 2013 announces headliners Taylor Dayne and Martha Wash
- PrideFest 2012 weekend: hotter (and more sunburned) than ever
- Taking pride in Pride: Here's what it means to be an ally

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These guys have the right idea minimal.
5. Wear too much leather
Leather garments are beautiful, perpetually fashionable and, in most cases, make an effective statement -- but they are not good in hot weather. It is painful to the point of heartbreaking to see guys and dolls alike walking around during PrideFest clad in cowhide from head to toe, sweating like altar boys at Catholic bible study, and there isn't a CostCo-sized shaker of baby powder big enough to combat the pouring sweats, dehydration and swamp-crotch that results from bullheaded Pride attire. To save yourself from being totally miserable, why not a compromise? By all means, wear some leather -- but don't go to PrideFest all full-on biker. Maybe just a vest, or a hat, or a corset or skinny pants -- but just one of these things, and if you must express yourself with the tightest of tight Bowie-bottoms, at the very least make sure you wear some breathable underpants so that your lips and bits aren't glued to the inside of your trousers.

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Don't end up like this by noon.
4. Get too wasted on booze
"We're here! We're Queer! Let's drink some beer!" is one of the massive appeals of PrideFest every year, because who doesn't want (or need) a reason to wear body glitter and see exactly how many plastic cups of Bud Light it takes to make you want to almost-naked crowd-surf off the side of a rainbow-parade float. But that being said, it will certainly be hot and humid this weekend, and you will want to suck back ice-cold brews like they were cups of awesome juice. Keep in mind, though, that you are in the midst of a ton of people with memory-recall -- and phone cameras that take better and better pictures with every phone upgrade.

Doing fucked-up shit when you are sauced at PrideFest is kinda like the same terrible fuck-ups you make the rest of the year, only during Pride you are really sweaty and screwing up in front of thousands of people instead of fifty people at a bar, some of whom will put your balls-out, bare-breasted shenanigans on Tumbler faster than it takes for you to splash water on your face. And your mother is probably on Facebook.

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3. Harass the bisexuals
Bisexuality exists, it is real and an actual sexual identity that some people choose to identify as. Bisexual people are not "free for the taking," they're no more or less promiscuous than anyone else, and they really don't like being labeled and hounded about their sexuality or told they are confused or need to pick a side. Remember this when you are out and about at PrideFest, mingling with different kinds of folks, because yes, Pride is a lot about sexuality and sexual politics, but it's best to stick to the positive kind of politikin' for a gathering focused on celebrating diversity. And keep in mind that the people opposed to homosexual marriage and gay rights don't discriminate -- they lump bi people in with the gay people, and you are on the same side.

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24 comments
Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident

If you keep adding consonants to GLBT, you're gonna run out of them.

bugsycook
bugsycook

Hey Breeality Bites, tell those two fat ugly hairy guys in leather jockstraps to put their shirts back on cus it's grossing you out and "is permanently burned into your memory."


http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/2013/05/yes_its_warm_out_but_please_pu.php

"There is one holy exception to this rule: next weekend's 42nd Annual CHUN People's Fair. Because chances are, if you're wandering around the festival of authentic Denver-ness sans shirt, it's likely that you're also enjoying a turkey leg in public. And half-nakedness and oversized meat products go hand in hand. Oh, and Denver PrideFest 2013 on June 15 and 16 is also a notable exclusion. But that goes without saying, because gay dudes can do whatever they want."

bugsycook
bugsycook

"Harass the bisexuals?" WOW, ya mean GAYS are "INTOLERANT "

of those of  DIFFERENT SEXUAL LIFESTYLES other than their own SEXUALITY! LMFMFOL!

Matthew Bosies
Matthew Bosies

None! As long as people respect each other, than the sky's the limit. It's about expression and being who you are. That's what Pride means to me as a hetero who is a huge supporter of The LBGT community and equal treatment, equal access, equal rights and the right to privacy by all and to all. Pride, to me, is a day of celebration of how far we have all come, but also a day to realize that hetero, puritanical society and government still have a long way to go. :)

Danelle Trujillo
Danelle Trujillo

1. Closed Minds. 2. Any kind of hate. 3. Violence 4. Public intoxication 5. Anti-pride behavior

Ian StClair
Ian StClair

Taylor Dayne headlining at pride Fest? I'll come out for that! I love her voice.

Jeff Johnson
Jeff Johnson

I guess no one noticed that Westword also posted an article today called "the 13 best Pridefest events"? I think it's safe to say Westword, which has run Dan Savage's column FOREVER, is not homophobic. Rock on, Westword.

Kevin Isaacson
Kevin Isaacson

"articles" like this make me less interested in Westword every day. You're becoming the ultimate troll, not actually trying to convey useful information or opinions, just trying to get a reaction out of people.

Jamie Bagley
Jamie Bagley

I did Chris. Here's the thing. 90% of the people who see this post WONT read the article. So they're going to see the headline and immediately start bashing what they hate about the gay community/gay pride. You seriously cannot read the headline the Westword gave this post and think for one second that this is going to go in a positive direction. Westword could've posted this exact same article with a different status update headline, and NOT have encouraged this to go in a negative manner. Especially with a "hot button" topic like this.

Karen Catt Timmons
Karen Catt Timmons

This is an important local event that should be covered. I plan on supporting the event and I won't be committing any of the 5 not-to-do's:-)

Laura Brister
Laura Brister

this post completely defeats the purpose of pride and the celebration of the glbtq community- shame on you, westword.

Chris Varner
Chris Varner

Damn, Jamie. Did you even read the article?

Jeff Dean
Jeff Dean

This is in really poor taste, Westword. Would you publish an article filled with African-American stereotypes before the MLK Marade? Pridefest is precisely about learning to see and accept individuals as such...not about glorifying gross generalizations. Shame on you.

Jamie Bagley
Jamie Bagley

Wow, Westword. Are you seriously trying to START a huge cyber argument?? Way to invite people to bring out the negative, instead of asking people to contribute something positive. In light of all the horrible things going on right now (hello, our state is ON FIRE) I'm extremely disappointed in your conversation topic here. There is no reason to take a topic and publicly invite people to bash it, which is what you've done here. Unbelievable. Incredibly thoughtless.

Megan Haenny
Megan Haenny

Ignorant assholes opening their mouth on feeds they shouldn't. :/

Robert Goose Guzmán
Robert Goose Guzmán

I'm throwing down at Pridefest and I don't give a damn if it is acceptable behavior or not. Cheers

bugsycook
bugsycook

@Marissa Bentley

Heterophobia....Bisexualphobia, LOL!

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