Greg Baumhauer recalls busting out of the hospital for New Faces comedy competition

Categories: Comedy

BobbyVV.jpg
Greg Baumhauer literally had blood on his hands in the name of comedy.
For any local comic who has yet to appear on Conan or negotiate a sitcom, the New Faces Competition at Comedy Works is the ideal way to gain recognition and earn some cash with your humor. Winning first place in the four-month tournament not only puts a thousand bucks in your pocket, but often leads to a comic getting "on the list" at Comedy Works -- a coveted position that provides a regular paycheck as the opening slot for high-profile national acts.

"It's really stressful for all of us," remembers comedian Greg Baumhauer. "But you have to do it, because you have to get on the list." Now definitely on the list at CW, Baumhauer was just another hopeful back in 2007. He'd come close three years in a row, and was motivated to the point where hospitalization, extreme physical pain and the risk of hand-amputation wasn't going to keep him from competing in the final round.

See also:
- Ten best comedy events in June
- Adam Cayton-Holland announces Denver comedy festival in August
- Comedy Works New Faces competition begins this Wednesday

Greg Baumhauer from Image Brew on Vimeo.

If Denver comics were divided by age and experience, Baumhauer would definitely be in the senior class. Once a member of the now-defunct Wrist-Deep Productions, he was involved in many of the early underground comedy shows at Old Curtis Street Tavern and Orange Cat Studios, working alongside natives like Ben Kronberg and Adam Cayton-Holland. His biggest street-cred, though, comes from being the seven-year host of the open mic at the Squire, a show so raw and ruthless that even a seasoned comic like Josh Blue will wince at the mention of its name.

Developing a crude, anti-PC persona, Baumhauer stood out amongst other comics who also enjoyed pushing the envelope, but perhaps weren't brazen enough to make jokes about slipping bleach into the drink of a one-night stand who refused an abortion. In 2007, Baumhauer was in the "almost famous" category of Comedy Works performers, a second-tier designation that he describes as "the house-negros of the comedy world."

"If you're a Denver comedian, your options are to move away, be on the road all the time, or get on the list at Comedy Works," he says. "And the easiest way to do that is to win the contest. If you have a good showing, people from the club will remember your name and you'll get some notoriety."

As with the three years previous, Baumhauer once again was in the final rounds of the competition in 2007. But a few days before he was to give his final performance, he found himself in the hospital with two broken hands after a bike accident. "I had some complications during the surgery and ended up with compartment syndrome, where one hand swelled up so much it was crushing the bones. It was awful," he remembers. "I was in so much pain, and they wouldn't give me more medication because they thought I was a drug addict -- which wasn't far off."

The doctors drained fluid from Baumhauer's hand on Sunday, with a second surgery scheduled for Tuesday. Lying in a hospital bed and suffering intense pain, the young comic could only think that Monday was the final New Faces competition.

"I had a great chance of winning," he remembers. "I was probably the favorite going into it. So I was lying there thinking, 'Fuck it, I'm doing this.' So I called the nurse in and explained to her the contest and said, 'Here's what I'm going to do: I'm leaving, and I'll come back in a couple hours. If you want to keep my room for me, that's fine. If not, I'll just go to the emergency room when I come back.'"

Naturally, the nurse called Baumhauer's doctor, who was livid. "He started saying, 'Do you know how serious your injuries are! You're lucky you didn't lose your hand!' But I was like, 'Man, I gotta do this.'"

Sporting two blood-soaked casts around his hands, Baumhauer was driven to Comedy Works by a friend. His head was dizzy and his body numbed due to an exceptionally high dose of pain medication (the doctors had relented on this after discovering how serious his condition was), but somehow he found the moxy to cheat when drawing lots to see which comic performs first.

"So I reach into the jar, and I pull out number one," he recalls. You might think this was good, since Baumhauer needed to return to the hospital as soon as possible -- but every comic hates performing first. The audience isn't ready to laugh, and even in his condition Baumhauer knew it could be a death sentence for the competition. "So I throw it back into the bucket," he continues, "and the guy says, 'Hey what'd you draw?' And I went 'seven.' So he reaches in, finds number seven, and throws it in the trash."

Years later, Baumhauer would admit this scandal to fellow comic Sam Tallent, who was in the finals with him and became enraged at the confession: Tallent was the poor sap who ended up drawing number one.

"So I go up there, and I absolutely destroy it," Baumhauer says. "I had such a great set. I remember I joked about my cast, saying, 'A lot of my friends are asking, how are you going to jerk off with those things on your hands?' And I'm like, 'Whatever, I've got a girlfriend, the only thing I have to worry about is how I'm going to get this cast out of her pussy. . . . Oh I'm kidding: I can't get it wet.'"

After delivering a memorable performance, Baumhuaer was then rushed back to St. Joe's hospital, where his bed wasn't the only thing waiting for him. "When I got back to the third floor, all the nurses were crowding around me, asking, 'How'd it go? How'd it go?'" Raising his injured hands into the air, the young comic exclaimed, "I fucking won!" And the hospital staff erupted in a standing ovation.

The truth was, Baumhauer had actually tied for first place with Troy Walker. But the win was enough to grant him on-the-list status, a role he often enjoys today within the context of his alternate persona, Bobby Valentino, a crude lounge singer accompanied by a piano player referred to as The Mexican Fuck Machine. Since making it on the list, Greg Baumhauer has opened up for big-name comics like Dave Attell, Louis C.K. and Bobcat Goldthwait. And he still has two hands.

The Comedy Works New Faces Competition, which started May 22 at the downtown Comedy Works, 1226 15th Street, continues every Wednesday at the club. Tickets are $12; for more information visit comedyworks.com.

For more comedy commentary, follow me on Twitter at @JosiahMHesse.





Location Info

Venue

Map

Comedy Works

1226 15th St., Denver, CO

Category: Music

My Voice Nation Help
55 comments
mcc24
mcc24

I'm actually a denverite with an opinion. You are a sad sad man. Continue trying though, I'll be the bigger person.

phxmark86
phxmark86

Clearly you did oyur job. You had to earn that beer. All she did was yell "coke woo-hoo" She was not a heckler you are just a desperate loser that doesn't care about anyone. I am so sick the editor Of the Westword apoligized? They probabbly most likely maybe apoligized because what I am saying is true ande they feel bad for you.You are so sick the Denver fire department has to scrape you off the paverment because you render yourself unable to pedal a bike. Again. And Im not sorry for telling the truth about you. You are an asshole. Say loser where can a get a ciopy of your "album"? And thats what Im talking about when I call you delusionel. The Denver community is rallying around you like you are a comedian. They had to pay for your drunken mistake,again. Hey everybody! Rally around the loser! Some guy is saying mean things about him online! I just fucking hate you, you are the one that needs help so you can stop being such a fucking drain on Denver. :"Clearly I must be some guy you don't remember but you'rre sure you probobly destroyed me at an open mic" Delsusionel fucking loser. And teh fact that you admit that you don't feel bad about making that women cry is why you are an asshole. Fucking alcoholic mess telling me to get help. Funniest thing you've said here Dr Phil

wristdeep
wristdeep

You are clearly just a crazy person, and I'm no longer engaging you. I really feel sorry for you, you can't be happy. Please get help before you hurt someone or yourself. Seriously, you are so sick the editor of the Westword sent me an e-mail apologizing for your crazy comments. I really feel sorry for you. No one can have this much hate in their hearts and be happy. You don't hate me, you hate yourself. Also, I'm not sorry I did my job and put down a heckler at one of my shows. I'd do it again tomorrow. Please get help, you are clearly sick, and thank you for rallying the Denver community around me. I haven't gotten this much love since I recorded my album. Please get help. 

phxmark86
phxmark86

Act like an asshole and treat people like garbage because you think you have a chance at a laugh and this is what happens. I've never seen a "comedian"(fi thats the term for assholes at open mics that get a free tab) act like such an utter prick. And without the slighest bit of empathy or remorse. This weasel faced loser was beaming with self pride over what he did. FUCK HIM.

phxmark86
phxmark86

IM GOING TO PUT A LINK TO THIS ON ANYTHING I CAN FIND ON THIS ASSHOLE.. LET HIM KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE CUT DOWN IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. To all you that seek to defend this prick(most of which are this prick) why don't you get on him for the way he acts? I don't care how desperate he is for laughs, he is an asshole and he deserves every bit of this criticsm. Just like the girl  was in fact fat, he is in fact a FAILURE and a weasel faced drunken coked out drain on Denver and its responsible citizens. Fuck him.. And for the record, everything is funny if you ar ea failure.

mcc24
mcc24

This is an awfully big article for someone you're claiming is "not funny". Try wasting your rants for people that care. Greg is obviously a funny dude, some agree, some don't. And for the record, everything is funny if you're fat.

phxmark86
phxmark86

What a putz. You deleted your comment and corrected the errors. What a vain putz! It also deleted my comment about you getting a tricycle so you casn stop falling down and costing eevryone so much money, you pathetic drunk.

wristdeep
wristdeep

I guess we know who the next mass shooter is.


benjaminkronberg
benjaminkronberg

@phxmark86 I understand you're hurt and angry.  It seems to me that you have an imbalance of  neurotransmitters or perhaps some low blood sugar.  Or perhaps something bad happened in the past and you haven't overcome it.  Whatever the reason, you should know as a comedian, that hate or insults won't do anything to Greg.  I do suppose it feels good to punch a punching bag, but it won't cry or bruise however much you hit it.  Your wrists will tire lungs will start wheezing.  You will feel light headed, but because of your innate hate, you will keep punching.  The lights at the gym will turn off, but that won't stop you.  You'll keep punching, then in the end, you will just be there by yourself in the dark with only your hate to keep you company.  For your own mental health, stop.  Apologize even.  Discover kindness.  Find happiness.

phxmark86
phxmark86

And before you announce anymore wild conclusions a s fact(Im David UIng) No I do not know the fat girl. It waqs just very obvious you were a total asshole to thias women without provaction. Not onlyu did the people I was with agree that you are a weasel faced prick, I heard other strangers saying the same. You are truelly delusional about who and what you are. A never was obnoxious prick. 

phxmark86
phxmark86

Hey Greg, how about posting where we can catch you outside the "Denver scene". 

phxmark86
phxmark86

Hey man, this scene doesn't like hatefull assholes. Thia scene is all about kindness and giving. I'm the guy who speaks for the scenee, man. Making a fat girl at a dive bar cry isn't ahteful man. Its comedy. And if people understood that, maybe I could afford insurance man. 

phxmark86
phxmark86

Ever been on any tv show Greg? After ten years and not one telivised event yet? Fucking hack loser.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeep No I've just seen that asshole be an asshole in Denver and can't stand the weasal. He talks about hiomself like he is an accomplished comedian and the fact is he hasn't gotten anywhere in close to a decade trying to do comedy in Denver. I hatew this asshole so fucking much because I saws him make an overwight chick cry by calling her fat and then was very proud of his comedic talents. He thought that making a fat girl cry by calling her fat was further proof of his "comedic talents"I lived in Denver for 5 years and read a few interviews where this loser speaks of himself in legendary tones. He destroyed at this free show, crushed a heckler at that free show.  The only thing this asshole destroys onstage is his liver. What an edgy guy! He drinks smokes and talks about coke!The fact that  he has achieved next to nothing, not even the ability to support himself, in a decade of trying. Despite this obvious(to anyione with a normal egoo) FAILURE he has it in his head that he is a brilliant comedian. If you "destroy" and "kill" so often, why can't you afford insurance? Why is such a brilliant comedian unable to get past being the head open mic guy(THE ONE THAT GETS A FEW FREE DRINKS)  and make a living? Is it sio hard to believe that I hate this weasel faced prick because he struts around like he is the shit when the fact is he sucks so badly he can't even take care of himself after a decade long struggle that amounts to less than nothing? That must be it, Im a former loser open mic wanna be that got "destroyed" by that loser. He is the head of the retards, the king of unpaid dive bar losers. The only one dumb enough to not understand he's not going to make it. All because he thinks being an asshole equates to be being funny. To bad he's wrong or he'd be a famous comedian. Because he is a world class asshole., pathetic, delusion, week willed drug addicted alcoholic drain on the city. Keep dr4inking smokinbg and snorting away loser, hopefully the next drunken one bicycle wreck  you get it in wilkl be the death of you. And hopefully not be such a drain on Denver.Third time is the charm. I take pleasure in your failure prick, the way you take pleasure in making fat girls cry. Fucking drunk loser. Second time 1 bicycle accident havin with severe injuries fuckin waste of life. 

wristdeep
wristdeep

This is the real Greg Baumhauer. phxmark86's real name is Dave Ing. I don't remember him, but I'm sure he was a comic I probably destroyed at the Squire one night. Mr. Ing I hope you get some professional help, or at  least some spelling lessons. Sorry you are so unhappy, but you not succeeding in the Denver comedy scene was not my fault. You are probably just really bad at it. Besides, this scene doesn't like hateful assholes. 

phxmark86
phxmark86

Im quittededing now to jerk my cock and pee on dudes that are cowards with my cock buddy homos! 

Suck my cock , you cock knocking cock gobblers! 

phxmark86
phxmark86

Be sure to thanked the smart guy that saved you all that time! And cock cock cock to al of you cocks.

phxmark86
phxmark86

Some guy with bad grammer quitted the internet earlier. And jerking cocks and stuff.

phxmark86
phxmark86

This guy is to busy doing stuff to his penis to make any sense. If we get him, we're going to take our penises out and do stuff to him.

You guys aren't in prison, you don't have to act that way.

Bitchin_Wizard
Bitchin_Wizard

No need to go any further in the comments than this. Just a guy masturbating bad grammar while using his own tears for lube. He basically rage quitted the internet today. There, I saved time you would have wasted. You are welcome.

benjaminkronberg
benjaminkronberg

I agree with phxmark86! Greg can't afford insurance.  None of us can. #obamacare

phxmark86
phxmark86

This guy is a total no talent loser. Never gets any press or work outside of the incessuest self congragulatory Denver scene, and the work he gets there he is paid IN BEERFunniest thing hes ever done is f himself up IN A  1 BICYCLE ACCIDENT!  Good thing his drunk, coked out loser ass can't afford a car or he might have hurt a real person. He can't afford insurance eiither so all his fellow Denver citizens get to pay for his drunken mistake of a life. To bad he didn't smash his weasel face in and die the death his "career" so richly deserves. How does someone who has achivied so little over such a long period of time get so full of himself? And if you think im being ruough on this ahole, I've seen him call a slighty overwieght chick "to fat fior coke" because she yelled "wo-ho coke" after his lame sorry ass 30 year to late Bill Hicks ripo off coke reference. He does coke! How edgey! And this no talent weasel was proud that he made this poor women cry and run out. He confuses being a prick with being funny. If they were the same thing he'd be able to make a living in comedy and pay his own f.n way instead of being the alcoholic, drug addled, never gonna amount to shit drain on society that he is. Its 2013 coke references aren't edgey anymore, just pathetic especially for a middle aged loser. Try ripping of someone from this decade fi you can't come up with your own schtick. I wish you had frickin died you loser.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@mcc24 I don't think that is the proprer sorry ass cliche' here.  I think what you wnant to say is " you're not worth my time". You be the bigger person defending the asshole that thinks its ok to make fat women cry "because its his job". What a huge person you are. 

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeepAndd your "friend"(you) said they were going to knock teeth out of me and you two were going to urinate on me. looks like you only see sickness and hatred when its directed at you asshole. Don't even recognize the prick that you are that is ok with abusing an easy target(thats all it was, she didnt heckle you)Stop the hippy nonsense, i havent treated you nearly as bad as you treated that women(unless, did I make you cry?). Now you wanna play the sensitive soul that feels bad for me? Try this on. Anyone that drinks and smokes and driugs themeselves to the point where a bicycle ride puts them in the hospital(2x) cant be happy. You cant have enough hate in your heart to hurt starngers and be a happy person.I pray that you get the help you need.

Doesn't that just scream BULLSHIT?

phxmark86
phxmark86

@mcc24 Another new accouint? He is obviously not funny enough to be a real comedian or he'd be able to afford insurance after a decade of "work".The guy is a mean spirited fucking ashole that thinks he has a biting wit because he can make a fat girl cry by calling her fat. And he is an utterly worthless drunk. A total drain on Denver. I'll waste my rants on that asshole, whether or not he likes it. Does he think he is the only one that gets to be a prick to people in a public forum? At least I have a   valid reason for being so critical. He is an asshole that has utter delusions about his ability. No talent, no success wease; faced fucking prick.. He deservesw to hear these truths so much more than the fat girl he made crry did. And he was so proud of himself for doing it. He said some egotistical shit like "im not the guy you interupt here" small time never gettin out of "the scene" lowlife fucking drunk ass cokehead. Fucking amatuer hack. Whats next, a drunken fall from the monkey bars to drain money from Denver? LOSER

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeep What are you? Native american now? For a guy that criticises peoples spelling, you sure have pretty shitty sentence structure. Maybe you should get a tricycle so you stop costing everyone so much money. You fucking pathetic loser.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@benjaminkronberg @phxmark86 Nah, not for the guy that takes pleasure in making fat girls cry for no reason. Why dont you share your nuevo hippie nonsense with that asshole? Thanks for your insight , I just fucking hate that weasel faced prick. And I enjoy(ed) this more than punching a punching bag. What did this guy call some friends because aim insulting him? Fuck him. I f you know this guy that you claim doesn't care what I say, why would I apoligize? Go watch this loser take out his lack frustration at his lack of success on fat women in dive bars. Because at least one women cared enough about what this asshole said to be standing on the sidewalk crying. And for that reason i have no pity for this drunken drain on society. And I take pleasure in his drunken self damaging behaviour except for the fact that Denevr's citizens are left again to pay the tab. That and I can only hope he never gets a car and hurts someone with his pathetic lifestyle choices. He is a sadistic piece of shit that enjoys amking people feel bad. Try to convert him with your hippy shit. And Im not a comedian. What the fuck is that about?

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeep You no remember dave Ing? He love you long time before you destroy him, I think.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeep I don't remember but I'm sure. 

Probably destroyed

probably just really bad at it

See how delusional you are? If someone hates you, it must be becausse probably you "destroyed" them with your comedy skills.

No, just someone that noticded what an obnoxious arrogant asshole you are. And not like Kanye West asshole. Just a delusional little prick without the talent, and damn sure without the success, to back it up. You are jsut an unlikeable weasel faced prick that enjoys make strangers feel bad for no reason and mistakes this ability with wit.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeep Are you going to cycle through a list of people that hate you? I bet that is a long fucking list, you weasel faced prick.

phxmark86
phxmark86

How dfo you not realize you are a nast weassal faced hatefuyll asshole? HOW DID THAT SLIP PAST YOU?  You fucking FAILED never gonna be shit loser? You must kinow that your "comedy career" is not gonna happen. Its been a decade give it up. Self appointed spokesperson for the "scene". You are pathetic.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@wristdeep Professional help? ike what Denver and its citizens have to pay for AGAIN because you are to much of a pathetic drunk to ride a bicycle without fucking up? I hope you don't get professionel help and die the pathetic, dunkewn, cigerette smoking coke snorting drian on society that you are today. Please answer this: How are you so arrogant yet such an enermous failure at the same time? Is it the drugs that allow you to hold onto this delusion? 

phxmark86
phxmark86

@Bitchin_Wizard Why didn't you get here earlier to tell tell everyone I quitted and not to waste their time cause I got bad grammer  and other stuff about penises?

phxmark86
phxmark86

@Bitchin_Wizard I haven't quitted just yet. I am always amazed at the stupid mistakes people always seem to make when pointing out othere peoples spelling, grammer, punctation etc. What is it with you and all the cock talk? Do you excpect me to believe 10 days silent and you're not the same person? You even tlak the same. Cocks and pisiing and jerking off. Thanks for letting everyone know its time to quited cause of my bad grammer and more penis stuff. its about time you quitted all that penis talk smart guy.

phxmark86
phxmark86

Yeah thats whyt he can't afford insurance. Its obamacare not letting insurance companies accept the beer he gets paid in anymore. 

yodownmuthalicka
yodownmuthalicka

@phxmark86 Anonymity is your friend here, dude, b/c your words would equal missing teeth if these words were spoken in person. Greg and I would put you upside down in a trash can and piss on you if you had the balls to actually claim these words. Coward.

jchavez1985
jchavez1985

I hope your kid ends up on an amber alert.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@lynchmeats @phxmark86 No I just fucking hate the guy. He took a tremnedous amount of pride in making a fat girl that didn't deserve it cry. All he did was call her fat and managed to confuse that with wit. Im not bitter about his actual lack of success. I take pleasure in it. I get annoyed reading this loser talk about himself like he's some kind if comedy legend when he hasn't achieved shit. Please dont list the Denver stuff. I know Denver overhypes its comedy scene, You will never here about it outside Denver, trust me.I lived there for 5 years. The open mic/dive bar circuit is horrible. Any comic that wants to do anything successful needs to be able to get out of Denver to do so. Im just here to point out he is still a fucking loser. And I read the westword online from time to time. I'll be back pointing out his failure to do anything beyond the small "Denver scene"  if I see his weasel prick face talking about how great he is. Hoping instead that I read of a fatal 1 bicycle alcohol related crash.

Not David

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 Im sure you/ve deluded yourself into thinking your taking the high road by not responding, but once youve sghown what a vile piece of shit you ar are and talked about beating up and pissing on people, the high road is no longer an option lowlife, It is mglaringly obvious that you are just a cowardly piece of shit that would attempt to intimidate with threats, then show what a fucking spineless pile of human garbage you are when the one you attempt to intimidate calls you on it.  Maybe if I ask greg really nice in person,he'll tell me where i can find you, Lets see if he'll be up for trying to piss on me like you claimed he would. This is not over sc umbag, not nearly. Spinel issues my ass bitch. You need to actually have a spine to experiance spinal pain.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 So tough guy, you and your no talent buddy can be as fucking rude as you want, to women no less, and I can't say what I want? Is it because that poor women probably couldn't knock out his teeth, put him in a garbage can and piss on him? Is that how you think society and free speech work, you sub human piece of shit? Where can I find you to claim my words lowlife? I'll be glad to teach you how these things actually work. I, like your asshole buddy, can say whatever the fuck I want, even if you don't like it. And just because you talk like subhuman trash and think you have the ability to beat me up doesn't mean only you and your friends can insult people. Fuck you. See? I can do it too.And even if you can kick my ass(I doubt it) I will have you locked away where you belong for being the lowlife peice of shit you claim that you are. You will learn, if what you say is true, that society will not tolerate or suffer human garbage like yourself. You and your buddy don't have more rights than I do just because you are willing to behave like a fucking animal and think you are able to kick my ass. You fucking lowlife animal. When and where can I claim my words scumbag?

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 Hey tough guy. Im coming to denver and i want to own my words about your scumbag friend. I want to say them to your face and see you back upo your threats. Im niot who you think I am. i will talk all I wanyt about your weasal faced no talent buddy, but I have no intention of hurting him. Lets see if you can back up your threats of violence, chat board tough guy. I will gladly say to you what I posted. I seriously doubt you will be able to put me in a garbage can and piss on me. I'm not going to talk about what a badass I am, but you better know how to fight if you plan on getting physical with me. I will have the police charge with assuult while you lay in the hospital if youy have any thought of backing up your words, you fucking loud mouthed punk. Ill be there in  afew weeks tough guy. My question to you is; where can I find you? I look forward to telling all I've said to your face and seeing if you back up your words

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 COWARD!

YOU COWARD! IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU(WITH A FRIEND) WE'RE GONNA TAKE OUR COCKS OUT AND DO STUFF TO YOU!NOT GAY STUFF, PRISON STUFF!

COWARD!

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 MORE THREATS PLEASE. AND MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW THAT I AM MESSING THE THE WRONG FUCKING GUY, DUDE. ALL THE STUFF YOU WOULD DO TO ME, WHICH OF COURSE INCLUDES YOU AND YOUR BUDDY TAKING OUT YOUR COCKS. THATS WHAT ALL THE REAL BAD ASSES DO. STUFF WITH THEIR COCKS TO LET EM KNOW WHO THE BOSS IS. ITS YOU TONY DANZA, WITH YOUR COCK OUT. YOU ARE THE BOSS

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 And while you two message board tough guys have your cocks out, why not blow each other? Your cock would   be the funniest thing that ever came out of that losers mouth.  Get it? because its like really smal he isn't funnyl. Making threats to knock out teeth online. What a putz. "coward" Arer you serious?

phxmark86
phxmark86

@yodownmuthalicka @phxmark86 Oh no! a message board tough guy! As about as origanel as that drain on society go nowhere no talent dunken drain on society(fiit's not that loser himself). Is tyhat what you and Greggie, the 5 foot nothin 110 pound waste of life would do to me if I was to be maen to him while you were around? Anonymity is greg friend asshole. It will never leave his side no matter how long he he does his shityty act. He'll continue to be a no account drain on his community. Isnt this the second time this idiots drunken stupidity has cost Denver tens of thousands of dollars? And isn't that a a little hippocritacil for a guy that confuses being a prick with being funny? I thought loser comedian wanna be even after well over a half a decadse of failure cherished free speech? FUCKING LOSER CHAT BOARD TOUGH GUY. YOU ARE FUNNEIR THAN THAT LOSER WITHOUT TRYTING. SUCK MY COCK.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@jchavez1985 HA! YOU HOPE MY KID ENDS UP ON AMBER ALERT! Write that down somewhere thats a keeper. Maybe you can let asshole use that zinger sometime? If you are not him. # independent post within a few hours ten days after my post? Sure.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@Greggie @phxmark86 IF YOU HAD THE ABILITY TO FEEL ANY SHAME, YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP ON BEING A COMEDIAN(WHICH YOU ARE NOT). YOU ARE CLOSING IN ON A DECADE OF BEING AN AMATUER HACK. GIVE IT UP ALREADY.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@Greggie @phxmark86 You embaress yourself self by acting arrogent about something you will never,ever achieve and thinking that being an asshole equates to being funny. How long will it take for you to realize trhat, you delusional weasel faced prick.? YOU WILL NEVER EARM A LIVING IN COMEDY BECAUSE YOU AREN'T FUNNY.

phxmark86
phxmark86

@Bitchin_Wizard @phxmark86 Good one Bitch! And no mention or reference to male genatailia! All though still homoerotic in theme. 

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Denver Event Tickets
Loading...