No joke: A bear walks into a bar in Estes Park. Can you top that?

Categories: Comedy, Outdoors

So a bear walks into a bar...

This is no joke. On July 18, a full-grown black bear stopped in Lonigans Saloon in Estes Park. Owner Dave Callahan had just finished cleaning up the kitchen at 9 p.m., then took out the trash and headed home -- missing the bear by maybe five minutes. The bear first did a little dumpster diving, then wandered in the back door of the bar, which is kept open during operating hours in the summer. A local going home from work spotted the bear and followed him into the bar, yelling at the regulars to warn them. But the music was so loud that they couldn't hear him, Callahan says. In fact, many of them were unaware of the intruder. Fortunately, the bear -- estimated to be at least a 350-pounder -- wandered off without hurting anyone.

As strange as this incident was, there have been even odder bear sightings in Colorado.

See also:
- Sometimes the bear eats you
- Hand-feeding Burger King food to bears? That's a Whopper!
- Bear in CU-Boulder photo killed on Highway 36

In 2009, a bear walked in the front door of Mark Richards Fine Outerwear on Cooper Avenue in Aspen. A man working there at the time said the bear walked between racks of fur coats and damaged some display cases, then went back out the door without purchasing anyting.

In August that same year, another bear successfully squeezed itself into a new Subaru Forester outside of a residence in Vail, completely destroying the car.

In May 2012, a bear wandered onto the University of Colorado campus and climbed a tree, where it remained for a few hours while authorities figured out how to handle the situation. After a long stand-off, they hit the 280 pound black bear with a tranquilizer and it fell from the tree onto a mattress below. The bear was then moved fifty miles into the mountains -- but was later hit by two cars while trying to cross U.S. Highway 36; it died on the spot.

And now a bear walks into a bar....

Maybe the situation deserves a joke. Turns out, there's a paucity of "bear walks into a bar" jokes on the Internet. Here's one of the few we found:

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a large Gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tonic."

The bartender replies, "Sure, but what's with the big pause?"

We're sure someone out there can beat that. Post your best "bear walks into a bar joke" in the comments section below. The best will win a gift certificate for a few drinks at Lonigans. No need to share with the bear.

Location Info



110 W. Elkhorn Ave., Estes Park, CO

Category: Music

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A bear and a rabbit are both pooping in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says no, so the bear picks him up and wipes his butt with the rabbit.


A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. 
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." 
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. 
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." 
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." 
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." 
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. 
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." 
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate!"


A bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer.

The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer.

The bear says, "What do I owe you?"

The bartender stops and thinks for a moment.

"Even though this bear is smart," thinks the bartender, "he probably hasn’t been in many bars."

So the bartender says, "That'll be ten dollars."

The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.

After a few minutes, the bartender can't restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation.

"You know, we don't get many bears in this bar."

The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten bucks a beer, I'm not surprised."


A woman walks into a bar with a bear on a leash.  A drunk at the end of the bar looks up and shouts "Hey, you can't bring that pig in here".  The woman looks snootily at the drunk and says "This sir is a bear, not a pig" to which the drunk replies "I was talking to the bear".

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