Five reasons why crowd-funded weddings are tacky

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A couple wants a kickass wedding with all the trimmings -- full band with the saxophone player, twenty-tier French cake with custard filling, individually plated sashimi selections, and a photo booth that takes those old-fashioned sepia pictures -- all in an urbane, affected, pastoral setting complete with white ponies. But the lovebirds can't afford it, of course, so where to turn? GoFundMe. Since they're so tied up in their once-in-a-lifetime romance, why not ask ask friends, family, acquaintances and total strangers on the Internet to pay for their special day?

Because it's f*cking tacky as hell, that's why not. This new trend of unbridled nuptial greed reeks worse than leftover chicken cordon bleu. As proof, here are five reasons why crowd-funded weddings are tacky -- no need to send a thank-you note.

See also:
- Best Kickstarter Campaign - 2012: Five Iron Frenzy
- Loveland's Wildflower Cabaret needs a new home, looks to Kickstarter for help
- Comedian/restaurateur Will White on his paleo-diet truck, Kickstarter and standup

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5. Because even modern etiquette gets kickedin the wedding bells.

Wedding traditions and etiquette have definitely evolved from the days when parcel-of-land-and-a-cow dowries were the way to go; even the more recent practice of the bride's parents paying for the wedding and the groom's parents picking up the honeymoon expenses has gone the way of the long engagement. People are getting married later now -- often more than once -- after iiving together in already established households. So it makes sense for couples to plan wedding events that reflect their lives -- but they also need to fit their bank accounts. They shouldn't expect their parents to cough up cash, much less their other relatives, friends, associates and social media acquaintances to empty their pockets to treat the happy couple to extravagant parties and trips.

It has always been in poor taste to ask other people to provide expensive luxuries that you don't need, and can't get for yourself. Period.

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4. There is a difference between guests and customers.

There has been a rash of stories lately about newlyweds expecting -- and even demanding -- that their wedding guests pay for the privilege of seeing them marry by giving specific gifts, gift cards or cash. Some want to make sure that the costs involved with the wedding are even-Steven, and some even want loot left over for the honeymoon. Either way, they're transforming honored guests into paying customers.

Asking wedding guests to defray the costs of the festivities is tacky, and turns what should be a celebration into a pay-per-view event.

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3. Wedding guests generally don't view attending weddings as transactiona.l

It is polite but optional to buy a wedding gift. It's also polite but optional to give newlyweds a gift card, cash or a check instead of a gift. So it's impolite to the point of unabashed rudeness for couples to demand gifts, demand money -- and take issue with wedding guests who do not ante up. A wedding ceremony and reception are ostensibly for the bride, groom, family and friends to celebrate; guests are there to show their support.

Wedding invitations aren't supposed to be considered invoices.


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8 comments
Lynne Monroe Ginther
Lynne Monroe Ginther

I agree that weddings should be personal, and affordable whatever that means. I always thought that anyone willing to come and share that big day with me was giving me a gift with their presence. Anything beyond that should be whatever the giver feels and wants to do. It's so easy to get caught up in all the glitz that having fun and celebrating is often forgotten. My Dad told me when I was quite young (may have had an ulterior motive of not wanting to pay/contribute for big wedding) that in the end there will be just a few family and friends you truly remember being at your wedding. He was right. This was great article.

Dan Johnson
Dan Johnson

What a joke. If you can't afford a lavish wedding, don't have one. Gifts don't have to be expensive, nor are they required. The most important parts of a wedding is who you are marrying and who you want to share that day with. If all you can afford is uncle cleavis' back yard and some glow sticks, then so be it

Heather Doozer
Heather Doozer

If you asked for people to help pay for the wedding instead of buying expensive gifts it'd be a good idea. It'd be easier on the guests as well...

Gary Sumihiro
Gary Sumihiro

Charcoal Restaurant hosts wedding receptions and rehearsal dinners! Call 303-454-0000.

Gerald V Kahre
Gerald V Kahre

What an awesome piece. I think they hit the nail on the head when they said, "Using a crowd-funding platform to solicit funds for a wedding stinks of entitlement. Imagining that anyone owes you a dream wedding because you want one -- and using the same means as cancer patients, animal rescue efforts or other charities -- is beyond tacky."

jennam1991
jennam1991

Your editors are really too busy to look at a quick piece? With the lack of journalism jobs out there I'm surprised that those with jobs are able to get away with so many errors in even the simplest of pieces. Boring and annoying with the errors.

bkr6183
bkr6183

@jennam1991  - So, you crowdfunded your wedding didn't you? The piece hit a little bit too close to home?

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