Five reasons why renting an apartment is a huge pain

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For the first time in almost a decade of living in houses, I'm looking for an apartment/condominium to rent. And much like dating after getting out of a long marriage, there are many things about renting that have changed over the years -- almost everything, in fact. From predictable factors like rental prices going up and amenities going down, to interesting new developments like clauses for using cannabis, bedbug infestations and "pet rent," finding a rental property isn't as cheap, easy or fun as it used to be.

Here's a list of the top five reasons why renting an apartment today is a huge pain. Okay, I lied -- renting an apartment was never actually fun, but now it's worse.

See also:
-Colorado apartment vacancy rates: Why are they so low?
-Ask a Stoner: Can I grow pot at my rented condo?
-Ten audacious Denver lofts I would totally rent if I were a drug dealer

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You have two kidneys -- you can spare one.
5. F*ck you, busted housing bubble

Hearing all about the housing bubble bursting -- how it happened, and its effect on rental prices and availability -- is one thing, but experiencing the ramifications firsthand is completely different...and much worse. With so many folks losing their homes and moving to rental properties, a studio apartment now costs what a one-bedroom-one-bath used to cost, a one-bedroom costs what a decent-sized two-bedroom unit used to go for, and a two-bedroom apartment is now priced the same as that house you used to rent. And if you want more than two bedrooms in an apartment, or a condo, you may as well sell your organs on the black market.

And trying to rent a condo with some sort of parking space won't cost a kidney, half a liver and a lung -- it will cost your entire body.

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And he's got a nice studio to show you.
4. Rental agents have gotten worse than used car dealers

I recall rental agents using some artful euphemisms and strategically-angled photos to try and sell me on apartments that weren't nearly as nice as they were advertised, but these days, property managers will utter some insane lies -- and expect you to be grateful that they bothered to talk to you in the first place. I have seen agents try to pass off basement apartments as "first floor"; set up an appointment to view a model apartment, wait for you to show up, then say that they don't do actual showings because "nobody does that anymore; it's all virtual tours"; refuse to confirm or deny the existence of air conditioning in the rental units; ask you to pay expensive "administration fees" in addition to the expensive application fees; and keep repeating, "We have a pool!"

And all of these examples came from one apartment complex that was not exactly upscale.

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"So, Mr. Whiskers; how fast can you type?"
3. Pet rent equals extortion

I learned early on in the apartment-hunting process that the term "pet-friendly" means something different than I thought it did; I think the term "bend over--no lube" would be more accurate. The majority of rental properties want a pet deposit, which is reasonable, but charging $400+ (non-refundable) for a cat is a bit much, and $25+ every month for "pet rent" is not friendly at all -- it's extortionate. People love their pets. Rental agents are exploiting this, and if I'm gonna pay this much money for my pet to live with me, I will expect the leasing agent to feed, bathe and massage my cat for me, make a few vet trips and provide free catnip upon request.

In other words, my cat had better get a good job and earn her keep.

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39 comments
Shasta McGovern
Shasta McGovern

My rent just went up in cap hill $125 and that was him giving me a deal he said. It's going to be even more for the renters renting my place. because I chose to move into a smaller unit in the same building, due to being given only a month's notice and not having time to look elsewhere. I'm now moving into what is basically a studio with walls for over $800.

Patty Leidy
Patty Leidy

i trapped where i am, and they just jacked my rent up again.. i can't afford to move, can't afford to stay..they raised it " Because they CAN" was my landlords reply..nice..whatever happened to loyalty to retain renters etc...

Eric Smiles
Eric Smiles

What I hate about apartment living is stepping over the bodies of home owners who've had heart attacks and died while shovelling snow. Not having to paint my own home. That sucks, too.

Mar Marcia
Mar Marcia

You never know what is cooking in the apartments or hall passages.

Colleen Luckett
Colleen Luckett

The rent prices in Cap Hill are SKYROCKETING. Forcing people back to the burbs. Jerks.

Ben Rodriguez
Ben Rodriguez

Most of these "showings" appear to be money grabs. You show up, theres 6 other people there, they collect your app fee and app....then you never hear from them again.

Kristen Marie
Kristen Marie

Also, the pent rent fees are out of control. I came from Philly and have never even paid an extra deposit for pets - let alone extra rent - PER pet. Ugh - I could go on. ha

Kristen Marie
Kristen Marie

Having to OUT BID the other people looking at the apartment - since when did people started offering more than the rental asking price? After getting out bid multiple times on houses (1 floor, 2 bd, 1 bath) that we wanted, we ended up offering more than what they were asking right off the bat. Insane.

Eric Smiles
Eric Smiles

But how do you like shovelling snow?

norby871
norby871

I just moved back to Ohio from Denver-the main reason-the astronomical rent I was paying on a small one bedroom apartment and the knowledge that I was unlikely to find anything cheaper without having to carry a weapon on me at all times. I love Denver, but the cost of living is ridiculous.

Jolie Diepenhorst Davis
Jolie Diepenhorst Davis

we recently rented an apt in a very old house, with off street parking. Great apartment until the truth came out the day we moved in and a realtor showed up to show the apt. Oh the house is for sale, the realtor says, well that would have been nice to now, we said, oh he did not have to disclose it, realtor says. We have to show the house at least once a week, and deal with upity, snooty, investors who sometimes show up without asking first! Sometimes it really is too good to be true!

Evan Mathis
Evan Mathis

Don't forget that if you happen to have a criminal charge on your record, regardless of how long ago and changes you may have made in your life, you'll get a big fat "NO". Of course it will cost you $25-50 to receive said "NO".

Ginamarie Bloomquist
Ginamarie Bloomquist

While I agree you cannot police peoples personal habits, I have lived in buildings that DID enforce anti weed smoking policies. It is just like smoking cigarettes. It smells up the apartment and they have a difficult time getting the smell out and then successfully renting the unit again after you have left. One place I lived in would have you evicted if they smelled it or cigarette smoke. Other places I have lived, while having the policy, didn't care too much as long as you paid your rent on time.

Mila Morgese Gates
Mila Morgese Gates

no painting, no nail holes, no colored curtains facing outside, no plants outside, no Christmas lights, no flags, no guests longer than 48 hours, no bikes on the balcony, no noise past 9pm...oh, and no negotiations on the rent. But we have a pool you won't use!

GFTW
GFTW

Hi Jenn!!

Maybe you can rent a room from Midson? It sounds like she has a huge house. Or maybe we can be roomies. Do you put out?

Your Friend,
GFTW

Matt Blean
Matt Blean

I've been apartment shopping in Denver and suburbs for several months... SHIT show...

Samantha Emerson
Samantha Emerson

Also, Boutique and Cornerstone owning EVERYTHING doesn't help keep the market fair in any way, shape or form.

Jeff M. Albright
Jeff M. Albright

Our Property Managers are starting a DNA testing program for dog shit. If your dog (meaning you) leaves it on the property they get evicted.

Denisse Lomas
Denisse Lomas

Yea I agree with everything u said I'm saving for a house

Kevin A. Mahmalji
Kevin A. Mahmalji

It's extremely difficult to navigate all the potential discrimination regardless of what it may be. Apartments are looking out for their investors not their tenants.

jonesinaeus
jonesinaeus

@Eric Smiles It's not that bad, and I live in Colorado.  If I'm feeling lazy someone typically comes by and does it for $10-15.  Beats having to share walls . ceilings / etc with neighbors.  

WillieStortz
WillieStortz

@norby871 I'd kill homeless people and sell their organs on the black market before I would think about moving to Ohio.

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr

@Evan Mathis I noticed that rental companies used to just exclude convicted felons from renting--now many of them include misdemeanor offenders as well.

jonesinaeus
jonesinaeus

@Ginamarie Bloomquist I'd bet dollars to donuts those weed smokers smoked cigarettes too and that's where your lingering smell came from, or they had other bad habits that stunk the place up (mildew, etc).  Pot smoke does not linger in a way that requires "getting the smell out" after a day or so has passed to air out the premises.  I've never visited a property that smelled like "pot smokers live here" unless they just recently smoked; cigarette smoke can stay around until new paint is applied and carpets are replaced.  Cigarette-smoking visitors tend to pressure pot smokers into letting them smoke indoors since "there's smoke in the air anyway" but the difference is stark and one can be completely covered up in a day while the other will linger for days or indefinitely.


jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr

@Ginamarie Bloomquist Lol...I used to sell dope to one of my old landlords...


jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr

@Mila Morgese Gates Sounds just like my old flat in Albuquerque...lol

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr

@GFTW I was wondering when the psych ward was gonna let you out...lol. As for your rent-bartering proposal---if you owned Falling Waters (Google it) I might consider trading my snooter for rent. And it would have to include concierge service and free wifi. : )

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr

@Jeff M. Albright Are you being serious?

WillieStortz
WillieStortz

@Kiyoshi Pourpezeshk I'd rather live next to a methlab than a pit bull. 

Although the two usually go hand in hand.

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr

@Kiyoshi Pourpezeshk Yeahhhhh.....every place I've looked at won't allow pit bulls--not even with a deposit.

thefemaleofthespecies
thefemaleofthespecies

@jenna-furrr  I certainly hope so!  Folks who don't pick up after their dogs are really just giving a big fat  'f*ck you'  to everyone else in the neighborhood.


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