An embarrassment of asscracks makes a mockery of Magic

Categories: Geek Speak

asscrackfever.jpg
Let's talk about asscrack, shall we?

Over the past two days, one of the biggest stories across social media is the gallery of asscracks from a Magic: The Gathering tournament held over the weekend in Richmond, Virginia. It started as a photo gallery on Reddit. By yesterday afternoon it had been covered everywhere from Buzzfeed to Time. Chances are good that even if you'd never heard of the game before, by the time you went to bed last night you'd seen photographic evidence that Magic players didn't have the sense to pull up their damn pants to cover their asscracks. As a diehard Magic enthusiast and passionate advocate for geek culture, let me tell you -- this sucks.

See also: I'm a sports nut for Magic: The Gathering

Now, I'm not denying that the photo gallery was worth a few laughs. More so than the asscracks on display, it was the original poster's humorous, understated poses and facial expression next to those cracks that really pushed it over the top. When I first saw it on Reddit, sometime Tuesday afternoon, I laughed. Then I read the comments, which contained a surprising amount of thoughtful "this is uncool and makes us all look bad" responses. And I was inclined to agree -- it's not particularly cool, and it does sort of make us look bad. Then I saw it all over everything, with numerous people posting it directly to my wall, since I'm the only Magic player they know, and I realized, man, this really sucks.

Now, if you're not a self-identified geek, you probably give zero fucks, and I guess I can't blame you. If you're not a Magic player but are a geek, you might also give zero fucks, but you'd be mistaken. It's only recently become remotely okay to be a geek, and even as certain geek activities are deemed acceptable -- playing video games, or liking the X-Men -- others are still heavily stigmatized. (Just try telling people you're a LARPer and see how they react once you explain what that is.)

The thing is, even though geek culture has started to seep into the mainstream, most of what we do is poorly understood by the mundanes. They don't really get the difference between, say, Magic players and Dungeons & Dragons players. When they see something like this, they're bound to assume that it's all of a piece, and that your geek subculture is just as full of neck-bearded, asscrack-hanging social misfits as that Magic tournament. Your attempts to explain the difference between your group of socially awkward followers of an esoteric hobby and the one they saw on their Facebook wall are likely to be met with blank stares and condescending nods. "Sure, it's different. You bet. I believe you."

Worse, this gallery of asscrack, as humorous as it may be, isn't even particularly representative. Lost in the mostly superficial "Haha, look at the geeks!" coverage is any real sense of the scale of what you're seeing. Yes, there are sixteen asscracks to gawk at. Did you know that the tournament in question was the second-biggest Magic: The Gathering tournament ever? There were 4,301 people competing at that tournament, and perhaps a few hundred more spectating or just hanging out. Pick a random gathering of 4,300-plus people for anything in America, from sports to a music festival, and I can pretty much guarantee you can find fifteen to twenty overweight and sartorially challenged dudes with their ass hanging out of their pants. Only there, you wouldn't necessarily get coverage across the Internet and everyone you know assuming that these people represented some kind of of typical specimen of your peer group.



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14 comments
Cody Hancock
Cody Hancock

Oh my god... Who gives a shit? So some guy took a series of funny pictures at a Magic the Gathering convention. Wahh nerds this loser stereotype that boo fuckin hoo. Nobody cares or is being judgemental about it except apparently a few crybaby fanboys on reddit and one at the Westword. Learn to laugh at yourself or just shut up about it.

Jesse Tafoya
Jesse Tafoya

you could go to a kid rock show and see as many butt cracks. no big deal.

Daniel Gooden
Daniel Gooden

This guy is actually my little brother's friend.

Ted Campbell
Ted Campbell

If it was a man on the street skit on some late show it'd bother me more - the fact that it's clearly one of their own makes me a little more forgiving. And as Cory says, part of what makes it so funny are the poses the guy strikes, apropos of nothing at all.

Bräd Männ
Bräd Männ

The best part is the hardstyle pose in every picture.

Mick Paul
Mick Paul

I would argue that anbody making a gallery of peoples asscrack have way too much time on their hands, and more than likely nobody to spend it with.

Anthony Anrig
Anthony Anrig

Boo hoo. Yet again, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, and I hate to say it but "geek culture" makes itself exponentially easier to make fun of. Hell, I play magic every now and again and I still laugh at myself about it all. That being said, grow some thicker skin. I'd like to say that these folk and their ilk are used to being poked fun of. So put on your big boy underwear (comic book print optional), pull up your pants (literally), and quit being butt hurt/ass mad about this. Pun intended.

yellowpen
yellowpen

"One of their own"? HNNNNGH tryin' real hard not to be disgusted by that.

yellowpen
yellowpen

Now you just need to find a nerd who needs his women to be shallow and BOOM soulmates!

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