Five things Colorado transplants should know about springtime in the Rockies

Categories: Breeality Bites

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Welcome to Colorado! If you've been here for at least three months, you've already enjoyed some of our famously indecisive weather, days that include snowy mornings and fifty-plus-degree afternoons. Although spring is officially here, in this beautiful state the transition period between winter and summer, and, similarly, between summer and winter, can be hard to pinpoint -- much less prepare for.

That "300 days of sunshine!" factoid that we natives like to throw around is definitely probably maybe true, but there are still a few other weather realities that transplants need to deal with. So I've compiled a short list of things you need to know in order to survive your first springtime in the Rockies. (Don't worry, it doesn't include buying another pair of ugly-ass shoes just for the season, even though we're the state responsible for the invention of Crocs. Sorry about that.)

See also: Five things transplants should know about Colorado weather

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Eric Gruneisen.
Typical "spring in Colorado" apparel.
5) Bring a jacket
The high today is supposed to be 68 degrees, which is great. But I recommend taking a jacket with you whenever you leave the house at any time of year -- because our weather changes all the time. It could snow today; you never know. And even in the summer, I always have a jacket -- because while we might not have anything resembling humidity (not even a tiny bit), Colorado businesses like to spend tons of money blasting customers with arctic air when it isn't necessary.

And even when it's hot as hell outside, during pool season you can also find yourself freezing your ass off whenever the sun goes behind a cloud or a breeze comes through in the middle of July. And don't be surprised if you leave your house on a Sunday to walk your dog and end up driving two hours to go hiking in the mountains because you ran into a friend who convinced you to take a day trip.

Which brings me to a slightly off-topic but still relevant note: In Colorado, we take fitness seriously. We're actually the #1 fittest city in the nation (though somehow we slipped to #2 on the least-obese state list), so if you didn't already move here because you love hiking, skiing, snowboarding, cycling, rock climbing, Crossfit, yoga, marathon-running or playing sports in the park, now is the time to get into it. We smoke a shit-ton of weed and are still in killer shape -- so, transplants, try not to make us look fat. I'm kidding! Sort of.

4) Sunscreen
You should be wearing sunscreen year-round (if you've been skiing or snowboarding in December and have come home with a crispy red nose, you already know this), but it is especially important as we get into the warmer months. The lack of moisture and higher elevation really do affect how much sun you get, and nothing says transplant quite like the "I got fried on my twenty-minute bike ride to work" sunburn.

Lip balm is also a must-have in Colorado. If you've experienced our painfully dry winters, you know this already -- but the desert-like heat is equally damaging. You want to look like you're a native? Have some kind of lip balm in your pocket, purse, car, gym bag, desk drawer, lunch box, bedside table, bathroom, etc.

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Strap one of these to your backpack and bam! You're a CO native.
3) Water
While we're talking about accessories, let's talk about water. Are Nalgene bottles a trend in other states? I've always wondered if having a water bottle strapped to your purse with a carabiner is a Colorado thing or what, but, seriously, you need to drink a ton of water. Especially if you're consuming alcohol or out in the sun or regularly combining both: We don't wanna see you passed out on the sidewalk at noon during Pridefest, sunburned and dehydrated. It is not a good look.

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107 comments
Selin Ponce
Selin Ponce

Nikki Zuccarello is the girl in the first picture sporting all the FP not your friend Annabelle? looks hella familiar. #imacreep :P

Steve Holmberg
Steve Holmberg

....We still don't like you after the snow melts.

Deejay Gyro
Deejay Gyro

Last time I checked this was a free country and were all Americans. if you want to get technical most of us are "tranplants" SMH

Dustin Bova
Dustin Bova

Especially when they sell their little shanty's in California for half a million and then buy up all the prime real estate in Colorado..... it gets really fuckin old!!!!

Dustin Bova
Dustin Bova

.....oh but it is! All you have to do is look at all the out of state license plates i.e (California and Texas) as you drive west on I-70 to the mountains! I am a born and raised Coloradan who has seen this state just get overrun with transplants.........and I'm only 33! I challenge you andres : ask some of your coworkers if they're from here or if they moved here, and I bet over half of them moved here! Nothing we can do about it, it's just so unfortunate that people can't just come to visit and then go back home!

Bradford Ashington
Bradford Ashington

" we don't need to be reminded constantly of how over populated our state has become" ....except that it isn't.

John Schilling
John Schilling

No wonder CO can suck so much, this story points out what a seriously crappy place it is to live!!!

Dustin Bova
Dustin Bova

you guys should just stick to what your good at....concert updates!! im sure i can speak for most natives when i say- we don't need to be reminded constantly of how over populated our state has become!! And how shitty it is to fight traffic every time you head to the mountains!!

Nanci Goldberg
Nanci Goldberg

Fun article. Been here 20yrs. But u don't need to swear to get ur point across. Thx for sharing.

Lincoln Fox
Lincoln Fox

Colorado transplants easy to spot. Big belly's and tiny legs, haha.

Ryan Spencer
Ryan Spencer

Oh thank Cthulhu, I thought your were talking about that shitty pop punk band! Yeah fuck Travis Barker!

patesser
patesser

Clothing is better than toxic sun screen. Skin cancer doesn't exist in 3rd world countries that don't use sun screen!

Margaret Foster
Margaret Foster

layered clothing, a change of shoes, an umbrella, a sense of humor and a bit of gracious patience.

Amelia Ebert
Amelia Ebert

If you live in the mountains, it's gonna snow in April, it's gonna snow in May and it might snow in June too. Don't act so fucking surprised, this is the mountains.

Bill Workman
Bill Workman

School in ND because DENVER SUCKS BALLS and won't take you. Hey Megan your momma needs bail.

John Schilling
John Schilling

Dear California, CO is not for you. You would be unhappy living here and would really like Iowa far more. But if you take your vacation here it would be a win/win scenario: I won't see you on Big Island, Hawai'i. Love, CO

Doris West
Doris West

Does this mean you are moving to co? Forever? When do u go? Luv, Gma dors

Andy Leonard
Andy Leonard

Pssh live in New Mexico now...after 30 years in CO NM is really the Land of Enchantment. Colorado but with ancient culture....

Elizabeth Kurtak
Elizabeth Kurtak

Let the weather dictate your plans whenever possible. Be spontaneous.

Melody A Duncan
Melody A Duncan

You can expect any kind of weather, on any day of the year, no matter what! I've been hot, cold, freezing and hot again in the space of an hour. This becomes even more true in the mountains..but please, only leave footprints!

Renee Beauregard
Renee Beauregard

If you go hiking, make sure someone knows where you went and have survival gear with you. There ARE mountain lions on the trails-be prepared! Save water.

Becca Sullivan
Becca Sullivan

I'd let them know that we have enough transplants here and to go back to where they came from.

Jonathon Brown
Jonathon Brown

A snow flake falling from the sky in may is not a reason for panic the roads are not ice just breathe

Leah Nez
Leah Nez

Bring a jacket with you everywhere... it may start snowing

Zach Balise
Zach Balise

If you tell the joke "if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes!" a native will kick you down some stairs.

brianzaha
brianzaha

A. I'm not sure if this is true (and I'm too lazy to look it up right now) and B. if it were true, the causal connection between sunscreen and cancer is dubious and has many possible confounders (like the fact that many third world countries have citizens with darker skin and lower rates of cancer).

fishingblues
fishingblues topcommenter

Gosh Annie, aren't you the elitist little snob.  I came here 45  years ago from Nebraska.  Can I stay?


And Eddie, when you call someone names (even pretentious little prigs like Annie), please attempt to use proper grammar.  You're (contraction of you are) a joke would be proper.  

fishingblues
fishingblues topcommenter

Wow Becs, if I looked like you, I'd be bitter too.  By the way, why did you feel the need to add the preposition "from" at the end of your  sentence.  It simply outs you as ignorant.  

redsoxfan
redsoxfan

@fishingblues apparently they do not teach children how to read in Nebraska. If they did you would see that she never put Nebraska on her list.

eddievonrothhorn
eddievonrothhorn

If you're asking a question awaiting an answer, you need a question mark.

fishingblues
fishingblues topcommenter

@redsoxfan @fishingblues  Well beenie, I extrapolated from her rant and presumed if she didn't like Kansans she wouldn't like Nebraskans.  


You're not too bright, are you?  (Hint:  that is not a rhetorical question.)  

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