Five Tips for S&M Newbies
If you've ever wanted to get kinky, this is the weekend to start. Tonight Beyond the Bedroom will host Coming Out Kinky: A Grown Up Comedy at Shine in Boulder; tomorrow it will offer "Welcome to S&M: A Gentle Introduction" at Denver's Dangerous Theater, with discussion/demonstrations of masochism, bondage, discipline and submission. According to Beyond the Bedroom's Daka Dan, "This workshop will help people identify different areas they might be interested in playing with, how to get started with it and to understand that it is completely normal to have these desires."
S&M can be both scary and exhilarating for people dabbling in it for the first time, so here is our list of five beginner's tips for S&M. And a bonus sixth: Make sure to pick out an awesome safe word/phrase like "banana," or "liquid hot magma."
Exploring sexuality should be one of the most pleasurable things ever, and knowing what gets you hot, and what gets your partner(s) all fired-up is a learning process that starts with education -- but should not end there. Learning about S&M in a very practical way, whether it be books, blogs, presentations or workshops, is an excellent first step into the intoxicating world of S&M, and the more you know about yourself and your partner's wants and needs, the better you can rock your favorite -- and incredibly sexy -- new hobby.
When you first discover S&M, it is reaaaaaally hard to take things slow and steady, because the delicious rush of endorphins can be downright crazy. Having sound judgment is difficult when you are feeling all the new feels of having nipple clamps on your tators or a leather collar around your neck, but it's super-important to check your wild inclinations against what is comfortable for you and your partner(s). This means try not to rush into spending a bundle on every whip or chain you see, don't rush to meet or play around with anyone just because you are both into kink, and make sure what you are doing is safe and within reason for everyone involved.
Unleashing your inner kinkster is even more rewarding when you have other people to share it with, and there are usually thriving local communities in major urban areas (also check the rural places and suburbs -- you'd be surprised!) with events, meet-and-greets and groups for people into S&M, and plenty of sites, pages and groups on the Internet for folks who prefer to keep out of the public scene. People who are into S&M are not always the ones you would guess would be, and it's a lifestyle choice that encompasses all walks of life, so finding compatible friends and partners is usually only a click or a meetup away.
For more beginners' tips for S&M, read on.