Five Tips for Coming Out Kinky

Categories: Events, Lists, Sex

Beyond the Bedroom will host Coming Out Kinky -- A Grown Up Comedy at Shine tomorrow night. Jean Franzblau's comedy is about a woman's path of sexual exploration; she plays twenty characters in the show. Beyond the Bedroom Executive Director Daka Dan describes the actress/playwright as "not a 'full-time' kinkster who has only relatively recently been on this path." As a result, "she has great insights for those on their initial steps into this truly wondrous world."

Kink can truly be another world for newbies -- a world full of new experiences, new challenges and, hopefully, new paddles, floggers and nipple clamps. In advance of the show, we're offering five tips for coming out kinky: Welcome to the jungle, and forget almost everything you learned in Fifty Shades of Grey.

See also: Five Reasons Why the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Will Suck


5. Read, study and research--and keep doing it.

As with any other new hobby or interest, it's important to learn as much as possible about kink going into it -- and it's best to educate yourself before involving cash, equipment and other human beings in your kinky ambitions. Kink, like a lot of other fun-as-fuck interests, can involve some risk-taking -- physical, emotional or social -- and part of keeping yourself safe and happy being a kinkster is making sure you are aware of what you are getting into, and being as informed as possible about what turns you on, and what turns you off.

4. Talk, talk, talk -- and then talk some more.

Communication is vital to kink. It's crucial to make sure you are properly articulating what you want, what you don't want, where your boundaries are, and what you are doing. Being self-aware of what your kinky desires are can be difficult when first exploring them -- "Do I really like being cuffed to bedposts?" "Do I want to be led on a leash around my living room?" -- but even more difficult for first-timers is being able to safely and properly express things to kinky partners who are taking the journey with you.

3. Understanding public versus private, setting and respecting boundaries.

One of the beautiful things about being kinky is that you can be involved in various public kink communities, or you can keep your kink private -- you get to choose. You get to write your own ticket, so to speak, but at the same time you also have a responsibility to make sure you understand the lay of the land. With public or semi-public kink-friendly spaces there are rules, guidelines and boundaries. Kinky partners and prospective kink partners also get to set their own boundaries, which is a lot about keeping each other safe, and assuring that everyone is having a good time.

For more tips on coming out kinky, read on.

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I think this very much needs to be addressed. I think there is a real danger in the 50 shades. Kink is not about abuse, its about consent. The very most important thing you need to be kinky. You wont find that in 50 shades. I for one am kinky and im "out". Reminds me of a saying i once heard,  something about the smallest closed minds having the biggest open .mouth. With 50 shades hitting the market, people sre gonna try at least there is some decent advise out there, that might save one person.

Perry Hopper
Perry Hopper

Westword, can you please help me. I'm afraid of being judged unfairly by my loved ones for my life's passion. I paint my face and listen to shitty music. Can you please write an article about coming out Juggalo?

Patrick O'Smitty
Patrick O'Smitty

uh oh, someone at westword is into twilight fan-ficiton.

Michelle Bowes
Michelle Bowes

I don't understand how this is either scary, or anyone's business other than the person you're being intimate with, why do you need to "come out"? What I also don't understand is why you keep posting this shit.

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